Struggling with someone who avoids accountability is beyond frustrating. Their inability to own up to mistakes can leave you feeling unheard and stuck in the relationship. Yet, their avoidance isn’t always obvious, so check out these 15 signs to see if they’re dodging responsibility.
1. They always play the innocent card.
No matter what happens, they’ll try to act innocent and they love playing the victim card. For example, their bad behavior at work wasn’t why they got fired, their boss had a vendetta against them. Or maybe they cheated but it was definitely their “crazy” ex who who caused the relationship to fail. They’re always the victim.
2. They laugh off their mistakes.
When these people fail or slip up, they tend to laugh about their mistakes like they’re no big deal. Although this helps to make them seem more confident, they could be using it as a front to hide their insecurities from the world. They make light of their errors so that they don’t have to face the negative consequences of their actions.
3. They’re big on justifying their behavior.
Whenever they make a mistake or something goes wrong, they’ll try to find someone else to blame. For example, when their boss gets angry at them for missing a deadline, they’ll say everyone at work is out to get them. Or they’ll claim to have cheated in their previous relationship because their partner drove them to do it. Nothing’s ever their fault and they lack the self-reflection to become aware of their role in situations.
4. They brush off others’ feelings.
One of the problems with people who dodge responsibility is that they don’t consider what other people are feeling or going through because of their mistakes. They might say, “You’re overreacting” or “This isn’t a big deal” to downplay the significance of their actions. All this does is invalidate the other person’s feelings and make them feel unheard in the relationship.
5. They avoid learning from their mistakes.
People who don’t take responsibility for things they’ve done wrong might try to avoid facing their mistakes because it damages their confidence. But, this prevents them from learning from the experience and figuring out how they can improve their behavior in the future. They’re also more likely to repeat the same mistakes because they’re not recognizing the underlying patterns at play.
6. They don’t listen.
Instead of listening to feedback from others, people who don’t take accountability tend to become defensive when someone gives them constructive criticism. They might view the feedback as a personal attack and react to it with hostility or dismissiveness. This can prevent self-growth, especially if they arrogantly believe that they know best.
7. They always think they’re right.
Fragile ego, anyone? When someone lacks responsibility, this is associated with low self-reflection. They don’t consider or process their faults, so they walk around thinking they’re always right and others are always wrong. It causes drama for everyone around them.
8. They can be impulsive.
When they miss important deadlines, such as at work or when paying their bills, this causes them to stress out. To combat this, they might act impulsively and make rash decisions to get out of the sticky situation. They do this while complaining that they’re in such a bind because of external factors.
9. They feel powerless about their life.
By refusing to take accountability for their actions and choices, they ignore their power. Instead of recognizing their ability to influence outcomes through their own decisions and behavior, they expect others to take responsibility for their circumstances. This causes them to feel like victims in life, instead of people who can make positive changes.
10. They cause conflict in their relationships.
If someone’s always avoiding their role in situations and putting the blame on everyone else, they’ll cause drama in their relationships. It brings tons of conflict to every aspect of their life because they refuse to see what they’ve done wrong. This causes resentment and frustration in the people around them who might feel unfairly targeted and blamed.
11. They expect others to bail them out.
When the going gets tough, someone who dodges responsibility will reach out and ask others for help instead of facing the consequences of their choices. They might hope that others will solve their problems, which would allow them to avoid accountability. For example, when deadlines loom, the person avoiding responsibility might ask coworkers to pick up the slack, assuming they’ll carry the burden for them.
12. They’re always negative.
People who have a victim mindset and avoid taking responsibility tend to carry negative energy everywhere they go. They can’t be optimistic if they’re always causing drama and conflict, and this depressive ‘tude rubs off on everyone around them.
13. They don’t follow through on commitments.
Without a strong sense of accountability, someone might see themselves as exempt from the consequences of their actions. Because of that, they leave a trail of broken promises in their wake. When dealing with someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions, it’s best to take their words with a huge pinch of salt.
14. They never say “sorry.”
When they’re called out for backtracking on a promise or blaming someone else, they stay silent instead of owning up and giving a heartfelt apology. Since they can’t acknowledge what they’ve done wrong in a situation, they don’t feel like they have to say sorry. They might also struggle to be vulnerable and show their weaknesses, out of fear of being judged by others.
15. They lack initiative.
People who avoid responsibility at all costs will hang back in the shadows, waiting for others to take the lead on projects or ideas. So, if the dishes need washing, they’ll wait for someone else to do them. If they’re in a brainstorming meeting, they’ll let others take the spotlight.
