How To Come Off As Someone Who’s Confident & Self-Assured

How To Come Off As Someone Who’s Confident & Self-Assured

If you want to be more confident, here’s the thing: you have to act it to be it. So, by implementing the below behaviors, you’ll appear more confident and self-assured to everyone around you.

1. Be a leader, not a follower.

If you want to do something (like book a weekend away with friends), let everyone know you’re planning something and you’d love them to join if they can. When people see someone is confident in their choices and willing to put themselves out there in suggesting ideas, they are more likely to join in and appreciate that someone is making things happen in the first place.

2. Express how you feel.

There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable and telling someone you like them or that they are important to you. Being confident and self-assured is not about masking feelings, it’s about being true to yourself and expressing how you actually feel and knowing the good people in your life will appreciate it and stay.

3. Be an example of how you want people to treat you.

Remember what it was like when you felt nervous in a social situation or didn’t know what you were doing when you started a new job? Being the person to go up to someone and introduce yourself or invite them into a conversation breaks down barriers with people while showing you are worth getting to know.

4. Know your strengths and weaknesses.

Happy smiling young man standing in snow covered winter landscape showing a Thumbs-Up - OK Hand Sign towards the camera, Selective Focus on Face. Millennial Generation Winter Outdoor Portrait.

Everyone has flaws and confidence is definitely not about pretending to be perfect. It’s important to acknowledge where you can improve and how you can handle situations differently and believe in your abilities to keep adding to your strengths.

5. Call out what you don’t agree with.

If something is annoying you, say it. If you think someone was rude, tell them. People may not like it but they will respect that you were brave enough to say what was on your mind.

6. Maintain your independence.

Sure, it’s usually more fun to go somewhere or do something with another person but sometimes what you want to do doesn’t align with someone else’s schedule. This doesn’t mean that you can’t go out there and do what you want. Go to that concert, go on that solo travel trip, eat at a new café by yourself, because these are all things you’ve been wanting to do so why wouldn’t you go and do it?

7. Strong body language.

Look up, make eye contact, appear open to people, and have a good time. The world around you will recognize your presence when you are present in this manner.

8. Know what you like and dislike.

smiling woman against patterned wall

Confident people don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. If you don’t like watching musicals or drinking alcohol, don’t be the person who does these things just to make other people around you feel comfortable. Be self-assured that you will be happier doing the things you like to do and won’t be involved in the things you don’t enjoy.

9. Remember your thoughts are the ones that matter the most.

Don’t be swayed by other people’s opinions if they don’t sit right with you. Your thoughts are the most important in determining what you want to do in your life. Constantly seeking advice and letting other people’s judgment stop you from doing what you want is not the confident person you’re trying to be.

10. Have a plan.

guy leaning back at desk with hands on heads

Know your goals and fight for them. Have a plan in place of what you want to achieve and how you’re going to get there. This can be as simple as waking up earlier or completely changing your career. Be intentional about what you want to do and the intentions will end up shining through.

11. Know that setbacks are inevitable.

guy looking stressed at desk with laptop

Nothing knocks confidence like a setback and/or rejection. But it’s important to know these things are inevitable—they happen to everyone. Eventually, everyone bounces back and that’s the key to staying self-assured and confident.

12. Dress to impress.

Young thoughtful businessman in suit opening a door and looking around hotel room

Choosing an outfit the night before work or any other event eliminates the worry of not knowing what to wear. It also gives you time to pick clothes you know you will look and feel good in. When you look good you feel better and people will notice your memorable and impressive appearance and wish they looked as good as you do.

13. Prepare a few go-to conversation starters.

Sometimes we’re too tired to make great conversation and it can definitely be draining when someone isn’t giving you much in return. Have some go-to starters like, “What do you enjoy doing outside of work?” that will help you get to know a person, keep your interest going, and show people you’re better than boring small talk.

14. Let people go.

When you become more confident and self-assured, some of your “friends” might not like it. Why? Well, because they’re either not used to it or they’re seeing that their behavior doesn’t align with yours. No matter what it is, be confident enough to let people go who aren’t right for you and invite people in who are.

15. Speak positively about yourself.

happy young woman outside

Everyone will think negatively about themselves at some point. When you’ve been having a bad day, week, or even year, it’s easy to let it all compound and weigh on you. Challenge the negative thoughts, like “I’m not good enough”—because to come across as confident and self-assured you have to speak about yourself positively. Know there are people around you who believe you are an important person in their life and they are lucky to have you.

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Cynthia likes to share stories and advice via writing and podcasting, especially when it comes to society's overbearing standards in regards to specific timelines and goals for women i.e. get married, have kids, blah blah blah...shut up.