15 Hidden Signs A Married Man Is Miserable

15 Hidden Signs A Married Man Is Miserable

Your friend might be married, but there’s a chance he’s not having such a great time. Perhaps he’s always cracking negative jokes about marriage that feel a bit awkward or his personality has changed since you met him because his wife’s bringing out the worst in him. While he might not be completely open about what he’s going through,  these 15 signs show he’s feeling miserable and trapped.

1. He takes jabs at marriage.


When his friend mentions how much he loves his girlfriend, this guy might crack a joke about how it’s best not to get married. When someone tells him they’re in the doghouse for doing something bad, he’ll say that marriage is being in the doghouse all the time. Although jokes don’t necessarily mean that he’s miserable, it is a red flag if he cracks jokes every time marriage is brought up.

2. He’s spending more time at work.

A guy who’s feeling trapped or miserable in his marriage might try to find something else to occupy his time, like going to the office earlier or staying later to “work.” It might help to distract him from his stressful situation. It also gives him something productive to do so he doesn’t stew in his marital woes or have to deal with his wife.

3. He finds reasons to be out of the home on weekends.

When he’s not working, an unhappily married man might take on new hobbies that dominate his time and get him out of the house as much as possible. If he and his wife aren’t getting along or are fighting all the time, he might start to view his home as a prison instead of a sanctuary.

4. He advises his single friends not to get married.

Conversation, argument and interracial couple in conflict in a park for communication about divorce. Angry, fight and black man and woman speaking about a relationship problem on a date in nature

When hanging out with his single friend, a guy who’s unhappy in his marriage might insist the friend remains single. Instead of doing this lightly, he might get serious and intense when speaking about the negatives of marriage. By pointing out why staying single is the better option, this could be his way of hinting that he’s remorseful about getting married.

5. He complains about the little things his wife does.


Although he might not vent to loved ones about his unhappy marriage, he might blurt out little things his wife does to annoy him. Maybe she snores at night or leaves her makeup strewn all over the bathroom. Although this might not seem like a big deal, it could be a sign that he’s disconnected from her. So much so, that little annoyances become huge issues that stress him out and make him feel negative.

6. He seems depressed.


While he might not openly say he’s feeling depressed because of his marriage, he could show signs of this in his behavior. Maybe his body language speaks volumes because he walks around slouched over or looks away from people during conversation. Or, he might struggle to make decisions and express the pointlessness of life.

7. He speaks of the future without his wife in it.

A clear sign that a man is unhappy in his marriage is if he makes “I” statements about the future. He might talk about where he wants to go on vacation or where he wants to build a house, without considering or mentioning his wife’s thoughts or opinions. If he never says “we” when talking about his life or desires, it’s like he’s only focused on himself. Perhaps he’s entertaining a future without her in it.

8. He’s stopped looking after himself.

If he’s carrying around negative feelings and stress about his marriage, it might drain him of his energy. As a result, he might not make a big effort with his appearance. Maybe he walks around in sloppy tracksuits, has stopped shaving, or hardly showers anymore. Not caring about himself can also point to how he’s spending more time away from home. If he’s crashing on his friend’s couch, for instance, he might not be doing as many self-care or hygiene-related activities as he used to.

9. He boasts about everything but his marriage.

An unhappily married man might avoid talking about his relationship. When he speaks positively about his life, he’ll mention the amazing promotion he got or the new car he purchased, but never his marriage. Similarly, when he calls himself “blessed” or “lucky,” he might not refer to his marriage, which is quite telling. If someone mentions his relationship, he might steer the conversation to something else in his life that he’d rather talk about.

10. He bottles up his feelings.

When talking to a man who’s in an unhappy marriage, you might notice that he seems distant or worried instead of being engaged in the conversation. If you ask him how his marriage is going or how his wife is, he might struggle to express what’s on his mind. He might sigh or release a frustrated breath as a response. If he used to be talkative, this is a red flag that he’s miserable but doesn’t want to express it.

11. He gets annoyed at the sight of happy couples.

If he’s feeling trapped in an unhappy marriage, he might hate seeing couples who are happy and in love. He’ll roll his eyes when watching a soppy romcom or make a sarcastic comment when seeing couples kissing in the park. These displays of love could make him feel envious or angry because they’re showing him the positive aspects of marriage that he’s missing out on in his relationship.

12. He takes an interest in his divorced friends’ stories.

If he’s got friends who are going through divorce or have left their marriages, he might suddenly take an interest in spending more time with them. He could be doing this because he’s curious about what they’re going through, as this can help him reflect on his own situation. Or, he could be trying to learn more about the divorce process to explore his options.

13. His patience is short.

Perhaps he was always a laid-back, happy-go-lucky guy who didn’t let things get to him. But now, he’s changed. Maybe he’s become irritable with everyone around him and is quick to lose his temper over minor frustrations. This is a red flag that he’s experiencing high amounts of stress and it could be because he’s not feeling happy in his marriage.

14. He’s become a stage-five venter.

If he never used to complain about his marriage but now he’s constantly venting about it or seeking advice from his friends, this could be a sign that he’s overwhelmed and miserable. Perhaps he also struggles to talk to his wife about them, which could further push him to seek emotional support from loved ones outside of the relationship.

15. He’s becoming socially withdrawn.

While some men in unhappy marriages might try to reach out to their friends, this isn’t the case for everyone. Some men might socially withdraw, like canceling plans or making excuses to avoid socializing. They could be dealing with so much stress and anxiety surrounding their marriage that it’s bringing them down and making them isolate themselves.

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.