While it can be tough to know how to react when someone demeans you or puts you down for no apparent reason, you should say something — don’t stand for that behavior. You don’t have to feel at a loss for words the next time someone dishes you a mean comment or backhanded compliment. Here are 15 strategies to gain the upper hand and walk away with your head held high.
1. “If your goal was to hurt me, mission accomplished.”
The person who’s insulted you might not expect you to tell them that it hurts, especially if you’re around other people, but go ahead and do so! Let them feel bad, as they should. They need to be aware of how their words affect people. Maybe next time they’ll think a bit more before running their mouth.
2. “Everyone ignores you. You’re like ‘Terms and Conditions.'”
This is a funny comeback that will stop the person and show them that you’re ridiculing what they have to say. You’re not only telling them that what they’re saying is meaningless but implying that they’re boring and being totally ignored. Sure, it’s a little corny, but at least it’ll make you laugh and keep you from losing your temper.
3. “Were you trained to be like this?”
This might throw the person off because they won’t expect you to ask them a question. They might ask you what you mean, which is exactly what you want — to create a bit of confusion and chaos so they can’t dominate you. You might even encourage them to do a bit of self-reflection. It’s unlikely, of course, but it’s a possibility!
4. “‘Just be yourself’ is advice you shouldn’t follow.”
After using this comeback, make sure you hand the person some aloe so they can take care of their burn! This response works especially well when the person’s given you a really belittling insult. Show them you won’t stand for it. Again, this is a bit flippant, but sometimes you can’t help but be petty.
5. “Whoa, don’t hold back now!”
Someone who’s dishing you insults clearly isn’t holding back, so this sarcastic yet humorous comeback works well to make them step back and put a lid on it. An alternative is to say, “Yeah, come on, tell me more!” If they actually do, that tells you everything you need to know about them.
6. “Really?”
Questioning the person and challenging their comments can help to throw them off as they won’t be expecting it. However, to make this comeback more effective you should add some laughter to the end of it. Drown out their words with your laugh!
7. “Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?”
You know that someone who’s always insulting other people could be dealing with their own issues, such as insecurity or jealousy, so this comment works well to make them stop and think about that instead of you. It could be that they’re taking their issues out on you, which isn’t right.
8. “What are the facts?”
Someone insults you and you’re supposed to just take it? Nope! Derail their claims and statements by asking them to tell you the facts. They probably don’t have anything to back up their words — they’re just being mean.
9. “I’ve got to run now. Sorry, not sorry!”
You don’t have to listen to the person who’s insulting you. Really. No one’s forcing you to stand there and take it. Exit the situation and get out of there! Walking away is sometimes the best comeback, and don’t apologize for leaving.
10. “Aww, it’s nice to know that you think of me so much.”
Make the person feel a bit uncomfortable by commenting that they’re thinking of you — they have to be in order to come up with these insults, right? Pretend to be flattered while giving them a sarcastic eye-roll.
11. “Are you insecure?”
Interrupt the person and ask them if they’re insecure. If they ask why you’re asking them that, you could say, “Because you’re behaving in a way that shows you’re dealing with insecurity issues and projecting them onto me.” Ouch!
12. “Oh, sorry, were you saying something?”
Nothing upsets someone more than being ignored. After the person’s dished you their insult, ask them if they were trying to say something. Look at them with a bored facial expression. Ha! You’re basically saying that you’ve been tuning them out all this time ’cause their words don’t matter.
13. “I’d agree, but then we’d both be wrong.”
This is a funny way to express that the person’s words are so way off from who you truly are. It’s a great way to say that they’re wrong and you’re right, without being so blunt. It also gives you a boost of confidence so the bully can’t bring you down.
14. “Are you okay?”
This is a smart way to turn the tables on the insulter. It’s also an empathetic response (unless the person’s being really mean and you want to use this as a sarcastic remark instead). Maybe they’re having a bad day or they’re holding a grudge against you. Now’s the time to get it out in the open!
15. “Thank you!”
It might sound weird to thank someone for their insult, but it works if you reframe their insulting words as a compliment. So, if the person says you act like you know it all, you could say, “I do know a lot because I’ve worked hard to learn things.” Or, if someone says, “You’re so confident” in a sarcastic way, say, “Thanks! I know my worth.”
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