Surprising Things Most People Get Wrong About Introverts

Surprising Things Most People Get Wrong About Introverts

Introverts are seen as antisocial homebodies who have no friends and never want to have any fun. This, of course, is absolute BS and not at all a reflection of those of us who prefer walking our own path in life. Here are some of the worst misconceptions people have about introverts that we really can’t stand.

1. Introverts dread talking.

Let’s get this straight — introverts don’t hate talking. They just don’t waste words. Small talk just isn’t their thing. They thrive in deeper, more substantial conversations. So, when they speak up, expect something worthwhile. They want to talk to someone who wants to discuss politics, science, art, the state of the world — commenting on the weather isn’t really their bag.

2. All introverts are bookworms.

man reading book outside on bench

Sure, many introverts love a good book, but that’s not the whole picture. Their interests are as varied as anyone else’s, from rock climbing to video gaming. Don’t box them into the library corner just yet. Having a more inward-focused personality doesn’t mean they can’t still enjoy hobbies and passions that are typically more extroverted.

3. They’re party poopers by default.

two friends laughing

Incorrect. Introverts can party; they just have a different vibe. Their party ideal? Meaningful interactions over loud chaos. They’ll likely bow out early so they can recharge their social batteries, but their presence isn’t marked by them pouting in a corner and wishing they were anywhere else.

4. They’re socially clueless.

Young student guy feels upset and isolated while his friends celebrating party at home

Introverts often read a room like a pro. They’re not anti-social; they’re selectively social. They observe first, which means they understand dynamics and nuances many other people miss, which then allows them to make calculated moves in social settings. See? It’s a lot more intelligent and logical than it appears!

5. Introverts are invisible in the workplace.

colleagues chatting in business meeting

Think introverts fade into the background when it comes to their careers? Think again. They’re the silent powerhouses. Their productivity in quiet environments and during focused solo tasks often surpasses loud group chit-chat. They’re able to put their heads down and get things done while everyone else is procrastinating and distracted. This makes them way more productive and paints them as competent workers who can handle responsibility well.

6. They’re detached in relationships.

This myth is tired. Introverts form bonds as strong as steel, just on their terms. They value a few, profound relationships over numerous surface-level ones. It might take them a while to let someone in, but once they do, they’re 100% loyal, love with their whole hearts, and won’t give up without a fight.

7. They have zero leadership skills.

colleagues having business meetingiStock/hobo_018

Wrong again! Introverts can be ninja leaders. They lead through listening, considering, and then decisively acting. Studies often show employees value the calm and reflective nature of introverted leaders. It makes sense if you think about it. Who wants to be led by someone who thinks power = the person who can make the most noise?

8. Introverts are always nervous and/or anxious.

It’s not nervousness; it’s reservation. Introverts process internally. They may seem reserved at first blush, but it’s their inner dialogue at work. They’re strategizing the best way forward, not worrying about it. While sure, some introverts may suffer from anxiety, that’s not attached to their introversion.

9. Innovation isn’t their forte.

two male colleauges studying something on laptopiStock/alvarez

Don’t be fooled. This quiet contemplation is the breeding ground for coming up with some pretty amazing ideas. Introverts often emerge with ideas that light up the boardroom after everyone else has shouted themselves out. All the time they spend listening and thinking allows them to solve problems creatively. It’s actually pretty refreshing to witness!

10. They’re emotionally unavailable.

Because introverts aren’t constantly emoting doesn’t mean they’re cold. They feel deeply, intensely even. Their fortress of solitude is where they process those feelings—privately. They’re not repressed or disconnected from their emotions, either. They just handle them on their own rather than splashing about TMI to anyone who will listen. When they have something that needs to be said, they’ll say it.

11. Introverts always want to be alone.

serious blonde woman sitting on bed

It’s not about a perpetual state of hermitude; it’s about balance. Alone time is relaxing and rejuvenating, not a life sentence in solitary confinement. They love spending time on their own, pursuing their passions and hobbies, practicing self-care, and just being. It’s a good thing!

12. They’re rude.

If an introvert seems to be giving the cold shoulder, it’s not rudeness but self-preservation. Overstimulation is a real problem, and sometimes they need a buffer to maintain their mental energy. Sometimes it would be great if people understood that their behavior isn’t personal — they’re just trying to protect their equilibrium.

13. They can’t handle stress.

Their calm exterior can tackle stress like a champ. Their inclination to step back and assess rather than react impulsively is a stress-management superpower. They’re not running away from a tense situation because they’re overwhelmed; they’re taking time to think about things fully before doing or saying something they’ll regret and that doesn’t actually reflect their true feelings on the issue.

14. Change terrifies them.

Nope, they’re not change-averse, they’re change-calculators. They take their time to adapt, sure, but when they do, introverts have often strategized the best possible path forward. They’re happy to switch up their routine, their living situation, etc. — they just want to make sure what they’re moving onto is an improvement rather than a step backward. Who could blame them?

15. Introverts are judgmental.

It’s not judgment but observation. They’re catching details you might not, and their reserved judgment is often a pause before they make an insightful contribution. We all judge things, to a certain degree, anyway — that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

16. Introverts miss out on personal growth.

Personal growth doesn’t always scream at you, and you don’t have to be out there taking on the world at full volume to experience it. Introverts grow in leaps and bounds internally. Their transformations aren’t always visible, but they’re monumental inside their heads.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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