Morality is in short supply.
My mom always says, “One bad apple can ruin the bunch”—and she’s never been talking about fruit. One negative person can easily influence others, especially in the teen years when everyone’s moral compass is subject to raging hormones. Likewise, one untrustworthy boyfriend or girlfriend can destroy their partner’s ability to trust people again. The corporate ladder is often climbed by bribes and reputations are destroyed at the click of a button.
In a world too familiar with deceit and destruction, how can you tell if someone has strong moral values? While no one can peel back the soul of another, here are 15 characteristics that tend to follow people who truly prioritize ethics and the well-being of others.
1. They maintain long-term friendships.
If someone can’t keep consistent friendships as the years go by, that’s what I call a “yellow” flag. Something is up, whether that person abuses their friend’s trust, is stingy with forgiveness, or isn’t flexible with hangouts. However, people with strong moral values maintain long-term friendships because they prioritize loyalty in the good and bad times.
2. They’re upfront about their values.
I spend a chunk of my day gushing about my little son and showing pictures of him to anyone who asks. He’s important to me, so I speak of him often. It’s the same with moral values. If someone is passionate about volunteering at the soup kitchen or spends every Friday night watching “Jeopardy” with their grandmother, they’ll let you know. Take note of these details.
3. They seek purpose in hard times.
In the past month alone, a windstorm has destroyed our roof, an ice storm has busted our piping, an electrical fuse broke our circuit, and my car engine overheated (four times). None of us are immune to life’s hiccups or catastrophes. However, people with strong ethics seek to understand the purpose in these hard times. I can be mad about the roof, moping and letting anger fuel my day, or I can remind myself that we needed a new roof in the next three years anyway. So why not be grateful that because of the windstorm, insurance is paying a chunk of the cost?
4. They enact gratitude at all times.
As I mentioned, gratitude is a choice; it’s just an easier one when life is grand. People with a strong moral compass enact gratitude regardless of the situation because they value the results. A thankful heart is less prone to stress, relational tension, and depression. A thankful heart is focused on what is good and true and beautiful, leaving far less room for despair to control the situation.
5. They have an honest relationship with anger.
But moral people aren’t perfect people. Each of us has triggers, often induced by trauma or passion, and sometimes, anger can result. Moral-driven people are honest about their anger. They admit what sets them off while seeking better ways to control their anger.
6. They respect the power of words.
Someone who values morality recognizes that words have an impact. They can do to the soul what a bullet does to the body. Likewise, words have the strength to save hearts and lives. Thus, people with high ethics respect the power of words.
7. They monitor screen time.
Most of today’s conversations, the words we read and digest, come from social media, texts, or television. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with having an Instagram account or watching your favorite film, but moral people understand the danger. We can easily replace people with technology, prioritizing a digitized box over the hearts and souls in front of us.
8. They listen to what you’re saying.
It doesn’t matter how casual or deep the conversation is, morally-driven people value human interaction. They take conversations seriously because they take the person they are talking with seriously. It’s more than common courtesy but a demonstration of respect. And they don’t just listen, they actively listen—which is more than hearing someone’s words, according to Simply Psychology.
9. They remember what you said.
Just as they are active participants in face-to-face conversations, ethical people remember what you said. They truly hear what you say and value you enough to remember the details. This might look as simple as surprising you with your favorite coffee order you casually mentioned one day or as somber as reaching out to check on you on the death anniversary of a loved one.
10. They remember what matters to you.
They remember what you say because they remember what matters to you. People who have strong morals value human beings and their unique characteristics. They are able and willing to practice empathy and see what you see, feel what you feel, and value what you value.
11. They’re engaged with family.
Granted, some families are tricky, even toxic, but people with strong morals value family (even if that means keeping their distance from unhealthy members). They see worth in the nuclear family unit and understand that the home is where hearts are formed and taught to love others.
12. They invest in their community.
People with strong morals value their communities and are active, invested members. This might look like playing a vital role in the local church, working at a clothes closet, or cleaning up after community concerts, fairs, etc. For people to thrive, the place they call home must provide security and warmth, and morally-driven people recognize this.
13. They welcome the opportunity to practice patience.
Investing in the lives of people can be messy. Imperfect people navigating relationships with imperfect people breeds plenty of opportunities to practice patience. People with strong morals don’t run from these opportunities but embrace them as learning curves.
14. They set boundaries with toxic people.
As I mentioned, family members can be toxic—so can “friends,” coworkers, etc. People with strong morals value all humans, even if they are toxic, but they also recognize the value in themselves. They respect themselves enough to set proper boundaries with unhealthy people, according to the Center for Shared Insight.
15. They refuse to cut corners.
Whether in relationships, work projects, or community engagement, people with strong moral values refuse to cut corners. They embody patience, practice consistency, and uphold a commitment to respecting the process of personal development.