It would be nice to have some guarantee on the longevity of relationships, especially after all the work we do to get into them in the first place. Alas, there isn’t, and even the seemingly greatest relationships are at risk when they’re not protected and cultivated. Here are some things that will kill even the ones that started out amazingly well.
When one person denies sex. Sex is just a part of healthy romantic relationships for most people, and if two partners disagree on what this means, things can go downhill quickly.
Lack of general intimacy. Besides sex, intimacy includes being emotionally close, physically close, listening, and nurturing that bond all the time.
Bottling up feelings. It’s often easier in the moment to swallow small grievances, but the resentment that builds and the inevitable explosion later on is harder to get past.
Taking each other for granted. You got him to commit, so now you can back off a bit on the effort, right? Wrong. Same thing goes for the other way around.
Being overly selfless. Yeah, giving and considering the other person’s needs is important and necessary, but so is taking care of oneself. No one wants a partner who loses their identity in a relationship.
Being inconsistent. Feeling all about the relationship one day and like you could do without the next day will only leave the other person feeling unstable and insecure.
Skipping dates. If the only time you spend together is on the couch at home, it’s easy to assume the feeling of restlessness is about the relationship, when it might just be about the routine.
Being condescending. Lots of learning takes place in relationships, but not because one person is the teacher in charge. Nothing makes someone feel small like when someone they care about is constantly making them feel dumb.
Breaking trust. Of course it’s possible to rebuild trust in the right relationships, but experience it too many times and that vow of honesty starts to mean nil.
Being selfish in bed. If your sex life is routine and you’re both going at it with the mindset of taking care of yourself, it’s going to build a gap between you.
Denying the other in public. Healthy couples don’t mind that other people know that they’re couple. If one person shies away from being open about the relationship, they might not be ready to be in.
Holding grudges. If a conflict is discussed, apologies are made, and everything is back in order, no one should continue to carry around the anger about it. It’s like poison.
Being on different pages about life goals. A relationship can seem perfect in the moment, but if neither party is willing to make sacrifices about future plans then undoubtedly different paths will be taken.
Never putting away the devil’s advocate vibe. Ever argue for the sake of arguing as if you’re a lawyer or something? Yeah… that. Seeing both sides to a situation is great, but claiming the opposite of everything he says just to do it is different.
Constant complaining. Annoying things happen all the time, but usually when we’re with company we enjoy things like traffic or the wait at the restaurant don’t seem so important. When the small things threaten to ruin the night, they can start to threaten the relationship as well.
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