15 Types Of Men Who Have Affairs And How To Spot Them

15 Types Of Men Who Have Affairs And How To Spot Them

Infidelity is a devastating experience, and while there’s no foolproof way to predict if someone will cheat, some personality types and behaviors are more strongly associated with having affairs. While these aren’t guarantees that your partner is stepping out, they raise some red flags. Here are some of the types of men more likely to cheat and the subtle signs that might give them away.

1. The chronic charmer

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This guy is a smooth talker who knows exactly what to say to make you feel special. He’s the life of the party, always ready with a witty one-liner or a flirtatious compliment. But his charm is just a tool he uses to get what he wants – and what he wants is attention from multiple women. When a man is constantly turning on the charm with other ladies, watch out.

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2. The perpetual bachelor

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He may be in a committed relationship, but he still acts like a single guy. He’s always up for a guys’ night out, flirts shamelessly with the waitress, and “forgets” to mention his significant other. He loves the thrill of the chase and can’t quite let go of his bachelor lifestyle. If he’s still playing the field mentally, it’s only a matter of time before he does it physically.

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3. The workaholic

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This guy is married to his job first and his partner second. He puts in long hours at the office, takes business calls at all hours, and is always ready to cancel plans for a work emergency. But all that time away from home isn’t just about dedication to his career – it’s also an opportunity to stray. If your guy is spending more time with his coworkers than with you, something might be up. This is especially the case if your relationship is suffering from what Psychology Today describes as workaholic breakdown syndrome, where there ends up being a complete lack of physical intimacy with their partner.

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4. The adrenaline junkie

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He’s always chasing the next thrill, whether it’s skydiving, gambling, or extreme sports. He loves the rush of living life on the edge. But that constant need for excitement can also lead him to seek out the forbidden fruit of an affair. If your partner is constantly looking for a new high, he might not be satisfied with the stability of a committed relationship.

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5. The eternal man-child

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This guy refuses to grow up and take responsibility. He’s always shirking his duties at home, forgetting important dates, and prioritizing his own fun over his family’s needs. He’s selfish and immature, and he doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions. Watch out — if he’s still acting like a frat boy, he might not be ready for the commitment of fidelity.

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6. The insecure overachiever

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On the surface, this guy seems to have it all together – a successful career, a picture-perfect family, a shiny car. But underneath, he’s deeply insecure and constantly seeking validation. An affair is a way for him to prove to himself that he’s still desirable, still virile, still a catch. If your partner is always bragging about his achievements and fishing for compliments, he might be trying to fill a void.

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7. The revenge seeker

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This guy has a chip on his shoulder and a score to settle. Maybe he feels like his partner doesn’t appreciate him, or maybe he’s still bitter about a past slight. Whatever the reason, he sees an affair as a way to get back at the person who hurt him. A man who’s always playing the victim and talking about how he’s been wronged might be looking for a way to even the score.

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8. The midlife crisis guy

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Per Forbes, midlife crises can hit anywhere between the ages of 35 and 65, and when they do, watch out. He’s hit the big 4-0 (or 5-0) and suddenly, he’s questioning everything. He’s buying a sports car, getting a tattoo, and hitting the gym like a maniac. And what better way to feel young and virile again than to bag a hot young thing on the side? If he’s suddenly acting like a teenage boy, complete with raging hormones, he might be looking to recapture his youth in all the wrong ways.

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9. The commitment-phobe

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This guy just can’t handle the idea of being tied down to one person forever. He loves the early stages of a relationship – the butterflies, the passion, the newness of it all. However, as soon as things start to get serious, he gets antsy. An affair is a way for him to get that new relationship high without actually having to commit. A man who’s always finding excuses not to take things to the next level might be keeping his options open. Take yourself off the table.

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10. The serial cheater

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Numerous studies (including one published in Nature Neuroscience) have proven that cheaters tend to be unfaithful on more than one occasion. For this guy, cheating is a way of life. He’s been unfaithful in every relationship he’s ever had, and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He’s a master manipulator who knows how to cover his tracks and make his partner feel like they’re the crazy one for suspecting anything. A man who has a history of infidelity or just gives you a bad gut feeling should be avoided at all costs. Your intuition is usually right.

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11. The entitlement king

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This guy thinks the world revolves around him and his needs. He believes he deserves to have it all – the perfect wife, the perfect mistress, the perfect life. Rules and boundaries don’t apply to him. If your guy is always putting himself first and treating you like an accessory rather than a partner, he might feel entitled to stray.

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12. The compartmentalizer

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This guy is a master at keeping his different worlds separate. He can go from doting husband to suave seducer at the drop of a hat. He’s got an entirely different persona at work, with his friends, and with his affair partner. A social chameleon who seems to change personalities in different situations might just be hiding something, and you don’t want to stick around to find out what that is.

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13. The attention addict

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For this guy, it’s all about the ego boost. He craves constant admiration and validation from women. One woman’s attention is never enough – he needs a steady stream of flirtation and conquests to feel good about himself. If he’s always fishing for compliments and thrives on female attention, he might be looking for it in all the wrong places.

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14. The “grass is greener” guy

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This guy is never satisfied with what he has. He’s always convinced that there’s something better out there, whether it’s a better job, a better house, or a better woman. He’s got a wandering eye and a restless spirit. If he’s constantly comparing you to other women or talking about how much happier he could be elsewhere, he might be paving the way for an affair.

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15. The bored bedroom guy

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This guy is tired of the same old, same old in the sack. He’s looking for some excitement, some novelty, some taboo thrills. He might pressure his partner to get kinky or bring in other people. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll go find his kicks elsewhere. When he’s always complaining about the intimacy between you or hinting that he wants to “spice things up,” he might have a wandering… well, you know.

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Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.