You might not realize it, but your partner could be sitting right next to you and feeling like Casper. To make sure that’s not happening check out these 15 things you may be guilty of doing. You don’t want to make your partner feel like they’re invisible, right?
1. You forget important events.
Your partner has circled some important dates on the calendar, like their birthday, your anniversary, or other important events. If you forget about them, even though they’ve told you about them a million times and it’s right in front of your eyes, it validly makes them feel unseen. Start paying attention! Sync your calendars so you don’t miss a beat.
2. You don’t notice when they’re sad.
If you don’t spot when your partner’s feeling down or sad like if their eyes are red and swollen, because you’re too busy talking about your day, this can really upset them. Stop, take a breath, and really focus on your partner. This isn’t just about paying attention to what they say but what their body language is telling you.
3. You look bored when they speak.
While you might not always be aware of your eyes glazing over while your partner’s talking to you, they might tell you that you never listen to them. Instead of arguing, it’s time to sharpen your active listening skills so you make your partner feel seen and acknowledged.
4. You brush off their feelings.
While you might think your partner’s being ridiculous or silly by worrying about certain things or having certain opinions, who are you to judge? They want to express their feelings and lean on you for emotional support. You might not always have the answers, but you don’t need them—you just need to listen.
5. You don’t say “Thank you.”
When your partner does something nice for you, such as bringing you hot coffee when you’re working late or running you a bath at the end of a long day, don’t just take it for granted. A simple “Thank you, that means a lot to me” is enough to make them feel valued.
6. You don’t consider their needs.
You and your partner need certain things to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship. If you’re only focusing on what you need and want, it’s like you’re the only person in your partnership. If this continues, you very well could be. The key is to compromise.
7. You make decisions without considering them.
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If you’re in a committed relationship, you should include your partner in your decisions because they affect both of you. By going along with what you want and making your own choices, you’ll make your partner feel left behind and ignored. Open up and talk to them about what’s going on in your life. They want to be a part of it.
8. You’re interrupting them.
Dominating conversations is so annoying! You’re not giving your partner a chance to express themselves or be heard. This is a common behavior of someone who’s become a bit too self-absorbed. You might as well talk to yourself! The next time you want to speak over your partner, bite your tongue or count to 10 and let them talk.
9. You’re on your phone during dates.
Nothing says “I find you boring” more than being glued to your phone throughout dinner. Quality time with your partner is important to ensure you maintain your bond and connection. That can’t happen if you’re distracted by or preoccupied with texts and social media. Here’s a thought: the next time you make restaurant reservations, leave your phone at home!
10. You dismiss their achievements.
When your partner values you enough to share their success with you, you should respect and cherish it. The worst thing you can do is try to belittle their achievements or rain on their parade. Be proud of what they’ve accomplished so you remind them that you’re a team.
11. You’re always busy.
While you might have a hectic lifestyle or work schedule, it’s unfair to your partner if you never have time to spend with them. They’ll feel like they’re being pushed right down to the bottom of your list of priorities. Yes, you have a ton of tasks, but make time for your partner. Every bit helps.
12. You make decisions for them.
Whether it’s ordering food for them or choosing what movie you watch together, it’s disrespectful to make assumptions about what you think they want. Stop and ask them questions before you steamroll over them. Just because you think you know them, it doesn’t mean there isn’t still tons to learn!
13. You run out of the room during an argument.
When you and your partner fight, you should take time to work through your issues so you can get closure and move into a healthier space. If you leave the room whenever tensions increase, you’re basically telling your partner that you don’t care about solving your problems. It’s toxic.
14. You withhold affection.
If you’re not affectionate with your partner, you’re reducing your emotional intimacy. Not having physical closeness can make your partner feel lonely and unloved. Find small ways to show love through affection, like hugging them or stroking their back when you walk past them.
15. You don’t follow through on promises.
Maybe you promised your partner that you’d attend their work party or clear your weekend so you could spend quality time together. But then you broke your promise, leaving them hanging. Doing this over and over again can make your partner feel like you don’t care about them. Become a person of your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it.
16. Fed up with feeling alone? Attract love by changing your mindset.
With our sister site Sweetn‘s simple quiz and mind tools, love is closer than you think. They’ll give you the tools and skills you need to transform the way you date and shift your energy to help you find lasting love. It only takes a few minutes to get started, so check it out here.
