When you fall in love, you might experience sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach, or the feeling that you’re addicted to drugs. It’s a rollercoaster ride that might make you feel like you’re losing your mind. The good news is that you’re not. But your brain is doing some pretty strange things to you. Here are 15 things that happen in your brain when you catch feels for someone.
1. Your brain tries to turn you into a stalker.
When you fall in love, your brain releases dopamine, a chemical that encourages feelings of excitement and reward. It makes you feel amped to see the person, then when you hang out with them, your brain releases more dopamine that causes you to want to see them even more. You might start feeling like a stage-five stalker by finding excuses to hang out with or text them. Researchers have come to the conclusion that the brain does this to encourage mating behavior. See, the problem’s not you but biology!
2. Your brain makes you feel velcroed to your partner.
You know that feeling when you’re so attached to your partner, you feel safe around them and it’s like you’ve known them forever? It’s a cozy, snuggly feeling that’s as a result of your brain releasing oxytocin, a feel-good chemical that encourages feelings of trust. Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone” because it makes you feel like you and your partner have a stronger bond.
3. Your bad mood disappears.
When you fall in love, chances are you laugh at things that used to bother you. If you’ve ever wondered why your bad mood dissolves when you fall in love, it’s because of those dopamine and oxytocin chemicals that get released in your brain. They’re called “happy hormones” for a reason—they boost your mood. FYI, they’re not only produced by falling in love but other activities such as getting time in the sun and exercising.
4. You feel addicted to your partner.
It’s a bit freaky when falling in love makes you feel like you’re addicted to a powerful substance or activity. Brain imaging studies have found that there’s greater activity in the brain’s nucleus accumbens, or pleasure center, when you fall in love and when you’re addicted to a drug like cocaine or an activity like gambling. In addition, the release of dopamine makes falling in love feel pleasurable and euphoric, so you want more of it to achieve the same high.
5. You start having obsessive thoughts.
When you catch feelings for someone, you might experience obsessive thoughts about your partner. Don’t worry, you don’t have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Research has found that falling in love makes your serotonin levels drop, which is also evident in conditions such as OCD. Low levels of serotonin is responsible for anxious and intrusive thoughts.
6. You can’t focus on anything.
If you’re always thinking about your partner or crush, it can make it difficult to concentrate on other tasks. This is why you might zone out a lot at your desk. Not only has research found a link between love and decreased attention levels, but falling for someone also lowers your cognitive control. This means you can’t control what you choose to concentrate on, which is a tad scary! It’s like love is literally taking the wheel from you for a while.
7. You can’t see your partner’s flaws.
If you’ve ever beaten yourself up for missing red flags in someone you’ve started dating, it’s not your fault. When you fall in love, there’s reduced activity in the brain’s region that’s responsible for critical judgment, the medial prefrontal cortex, because it’s being flooded with dopamine. This is why you seem to ignore your partner’s mistakes and flaws, even if it feels so out of character for you.
8. Your brain can’t shut down.
If it feels like your thoughts are hamsters on a wheel when you fall in love, it’s not your imagination. Your brain does become more active when you catch the feels, which is probably why you might struggle to turn off your brain and fall asleep at night. Research has found that brain imaging studies of women who were in love with their partners displayed more activity in areas of the brain associated with attention, imagination, and memory. A lot’s going on and it might make you feel crazy.
9. You don’t read your partner’s cues.
That rush of dopamine in the brain’s medial prefrontal cortex is responsible for another weird thing that happens when you fall in love: you don’t read your partner’s emotions and feelings correctly. This makes it difficult to know if they like you or not, and it explains why you’re so confused. It’s almost like you’re love blind for a while because your brain’s being drowned in chemicals.
10. You get the urge to fight or flight.
Not all brain-related changes that occur when you fall in love feel good. An example is when you feel a rush of adrenaline in your body that makes you want to run away. It’s a result of activity between the brain’s amygdala (where stress happens) and the nucleus accumbens, producing feelings of negativity. Although the fight-or-flight response gets activated when your body senses danger, it can be triggered by stressful events such as the start of a new relationship.
11. You feel more stressed.
Linked to the previous point, in research studies, people who had recently fallen in love displayed higher cortisol levels. This makes sense—trying to figure out your crush can make you break out in a sweat! Reduced serotonin levels in the brain are also linked to higher stress levels. But, the good news is that this passes quickly, so you can chill out and actually enjoy the relationship instead of feeling like a human stress ball.
12. You don’t feel pain.
A cool thing about falling in love is that it can reduce your sensation of pain. Interestingly, the brain’s regions that are affected by painkillers are also activated by feelings of love. This mostly happens during the early phase of your relationship when you experience that butterfly-in-your-stomach rush of love, as the positive changes in mood you experience affect how you view and feel pain. Both physical and emotional pain just don’t feel that bad.
13. Your brain mimics your partner’s brain.
In a similar way to how people who are dating start to dress and look the same, they might also have similar brain activity. Research has found that couples’ autonomic nervous systems copy each other and become more in sync, even if they aren’t making physical contact. This system is responsible for regulating processes such as heart rate. The researchers have stated that this alignment between people helps them bond and take their relationship to the next level.
14. You stop caring about the rest of your life.
It’s weird when you stop caring so much about your career and friendships when you fall in love. But it’s your brain making you want to be with your partner while pushing everyone else in your life to the back burner. The reason why this happens is because the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for things like impulse control and decision-making, stops working so well for a bit. See, you’re not a bad friend, it’s just your brain!
15. You feel more sensitive to touch.
The brain’s release of chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin enhances your pleasure, which is why touching your partner or kissing them feels so amazing. Your brain is trying to get you and your partner to connect, flooding you with chemicals to make you want to reach out and touch them. Oxytocin, specifically, is responsible for creating strong bonds.
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