If you were taken advantage of by someone, you might be looking back and wondering how you could have missed the signs that it was going to happen. Sadly, the exact kind of people you want to avoid are usually pretty good at pretending to be better than they are. With that said, here are some types of people who are red flags in disguise to keep an eye out for.
1. People Who Constantly Remind Everyone Of How Nice They Are
People who make having a certain personality trait their entire entity, are typically the opposite. They do this so you’ll overlook their poor behavior and make excuses for them. Rather than calling them out, you might think they must be having a bad time because they’re acting out of character or convince yourself you’re being dramatic. When you do finally realize it’s all an act, it’s almost impossible to get others to believe you because they fell for it too.
2. People Who Have Never Made A Mistake In Their Life
No one is perfect. Most self-aware adults can look back on some breakups or fights with friends and recognize they were at least partially to blame or didn’t handle it as well as they could have. It’s a massive red flag if someone has a massive list of exes but maintains that everything was the other person’s fault. While some people might be unlucky in love, they’re also the common denominator.
3. People Who Are Extremely Charming
Some people are naturally charismatic, and that doesn’t mean they’re deceptive. The difference is that someone with bad intentions is too charming. Maybe they shower you with compliments or show you off to other people in a way that feels forced.
4. People Who Are Always The Victim
A perpetual victim is someone who can dish it out, but they fall apart whenever anyone matches their energy. It’s a huge red flag because they interpret tough conversations and setting boundaries as an attack.
5. “Brutally Honest” People.
People who are “brutally honest” or “tell it like it is” usually just want to dish out criticism without getting flak. Having friends who will (respectfully) call you out if you’re wrong about something is a huge green flag, but these kinds of people rarely have good intentions. They usually excuse it as “everyone’s thinking it, but I’m the only one who’ll say it.” The truth is, everyone probably wasn’t thinking whatever cruel thing they just said. They just want a free pass to be a jerk.
6. People Who Hide Behind Performance Activism
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with being an activist. People who genuinely care about others or the state of the world and want to fight to improve it are wonderful. However, these days, a frightening amount of horrible people hide behind so-called activism to get away with awful behavior. It’s not that you shouldn’t trust allies or activists, but pay attention to how they conduct themselves. If they constantly center themselves or don’t actually do anything productive to help the cause, they might just be in it to make themselves look good.
7. People Who Get Too Comfortable Too Soon
While you might have an instant connection with someone, trying to speed run through all the steps of a relationship is a huge red flag. Saying the L-word or planning a future together when you’ve only known each other a month (and aren’t teenagers), usually never ends well. They’re likely on their best behavior now and are hoping to trap you before their true colors start to show.
8. People Who Think They Know What’s Best For You
You’re an adult. The only person who knows what’s best for you is you because you’re the one actually living your life. Be wary of someone who suggests you take drastic measures “for your own good” for seemingly no reason, for example, quitting a job with no backup plan even though you’ve never complained about it. They could be trying to sabotage you. It’s not that you should never take advice from people, but don’t blindly do anything someone tells you to do. Every time someone has tried to turn me against my best friend, they’ve ended up being horrible.
9. People Who Happen To Act Up Whenever The Moment Isn’t About Them
Sometimes life gets in the way and a friend or partner gets bad news on your birthday. However, when someone consistently causes drama or acts up whenever the moment is about you, be wary. These people can’t handle it when they’re not the center of attention and have no shame in ruining your birthday party or deciding the night before an important exam or work presentation is the best time to upset you.
10. People Who Think Everyone Is Too Serious
Sure, life is already hard enough, so we shouldn’t take it so seriously all the time. Having a sense of humor is great, but these kinds of people are usually cruel and offensive. Rather than admitting they took something too far, they’re adamant people “can’t say anything these days.”
11. People Who Make False Promises
What people say they’ll do and what they actually do aren’t the same thing. Sadly, you only learn that someone doesn’t keep their word until you witness it for yourself. Maybe you lent them money and they swore they’d pay you back, but a year later, you haven’t gotten a cent. If they burn you once, don’t let it happen again.
12. People Who Act Different In Private
While we might show different sides of ourselves to different people in our lives, most people don’t do a full 180. Someone being kind to you in private but rude in public is a huge red flag. They either don’t respect you, secretly think they can do better, or care too much about what other people think. Regardless of why they do it, it’s gross.
13. People Who Are Strictly “Logical”
Some people are less emotional or sensitive than others, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. It becomes a red flag when this person weaponizes that mentality and refuses to entertain anything they deem as silly, like saying something that hurts your feelings. They’ll argue that there’s no “logical” reason for you to be upset. You’ll never get through to them.
14. People Who Want You All To Themselves
It’s nice to feel wanted, but there’s a line. If someone guilts you for spending time with your other friends, it’s a huge red flag. It’s simply not healthy for your life to only revolve around that one person. After all, if you choose them and then they leave, who will you have left? Not to mention, they’ll start trying to control you in other ways too.
15. People Who Treat Others Poorly But Insist You’re Special
Some people who are jerks are pretty loud and proud about it but insist that they would never screw you over. There are a few things wrong with this; firstly, why do you want to associate with someone you know who treats others poorly? Secondly; they’re most likely manipulating you too, but are sneakier about it. They might treat you well now, but if you’ve seen how cruel they are to other people, you know how they’ll treat you if you fall out.
16. People Who Make Everything About Them
Whenever you catch up with them, you can’t get a word in because they only talk about themselves. While some people don’t realize they do this, they will likely respond well if you point it out. It can be a red flag if you try to interject with some news about yourself, only for them to look at you like you have two heads and go back to talking about themselves. People like this simply don’t care about others and won’t offer any support if you need it.