35 Bad Habits That Scream “I’m Not A Good Person”

35 Bad Habits That Scream “I’m Not A Good Person”

Pretty much no one will openly admit that they’re not a good person—in fact, most people think they’re doing a great job at being decent. However, if you have any of these 35 habits (and especially if you have more than one), you have a long way to go. It may be time to do some self-reflection and change your ways.

1. Always being late

Hey, we get it, life happens. But constantly showing up late? That’s a different story. It sends a signal that you don’t value others’ time. Imagine planning your day around a meet-up, only to be left waiting. Not cool, right? It’s more than just a minor inconvenience; it’s about respect. So, if your watch is permanently set to ‘fashionably late’, it might be time for a change.

2. Purposely ignoring people’s messages

Alright, we’re all guilty of leaving a message on read now and then. But if you’re the king or queen of ghosting, that’s a red flag. Ignoring messages, especially when someone needs a response, is like saying you don’t care. Sure, we don’t have to be glued to our phones 24/7, but a quick reply? That can mean the world to someone. It’s about being considerate and acknowledging that, hey, someone reached out to you.

3. Finding any excuse for self-promotion

While it’s good to be confident in your abilities, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Constant self-promotion can be off-putting and may make you seem self-absorbed. Balancing how you talk about your achievements with humility and a genuine interest in others is key.

4. Refusing to apologize when you’re wrong

Nobody’s perfect and messing up is part of being human. But refusing to apologize when you’re clearly in the wrong? That’s not a great look. It shows stubbornness and a lack of empathy. Owning up to mistakes and saying sorry can be tough, but it’s also what separates the mature from the not-so-much. Plus, it’s a simple way to show you’re human and you care about how your actions affect those around you. (By the way, if this is something you struggle with in relationships—or if the people you end up with are like this—visit our sister site, Sweetn, for some game-changing advice, tips, and tricks to completely overhaul your love life for the better in just a few weeks. Check them out here.)

5. Constant complaining

We all need to vent sometimes, but there’s a fine line between letting off steam and just being a downer. Constantly complaining can be draining for the people around you. It’s like carrying a little rain cloud everywhere you go. Sure, life’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but focusing only on the negatives? That’s a one-way ticket to bringing everyone down. Mixing in some positivity can go a long way.

6. Breaking promises

Promises are like trust in verbal form. Break them, and you’re basically saying your word means nothing. Continuously breaking promises can make you seem unreliable and untrustworthy. Whether it’s big promises or small, keeping your word shows you’re someone people can count on. It’s about integrity and showing that you understand the importance of trust in relationships.

7. Taking credit for other people’s work

This one’s a big no-no. Taking credit for someone else’s hard work? That’s just shady. Not only does it show a lack of integrity, but it can also hurt your relationship. Giving credit where it’s due is not only fair, it’s also a sign of a good leader and team player. Remember, a little humility and honesty go a long way.

8. Not listening to people

Ever talked to someone who just waits for their turn to speak? That’s what this is about. Not really listening to people is a sign you’re more interested in yourself than the conversation. Active listening is key in any good relationship, be it professional or personal. It shows you value others’ opinions and thoughts, and let’s be honest, everyone likes to feel heard.

9. Being rude to service staff

How someone treats service staff is a real character indicator. Being rude or dismissive to waiters, cashiers, or anyone in a service role is just bad form. These folks are working hard, often for not much pay, and deserve respect. Treating them well shows empathy and understanding, qualities of a genuinely good person.

10. Not respecting boundaries

Couple have a conversation, while he's been ignored by his girlfriend

Everyone has their limits, and not respecting them is a surefire way to show you don’t care about others’ comfort zones. Pushing boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or otherwise, is a big no. It shows a lack of respect and can make people feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Respecting boundaries is all about understanding and valuing others’ personal space and feelings.

11. Being a conversation hog

Woman apologizes to her friend after fight

There’s nothing worse than someone who turns every conversation into a monologue about themselves. If you’re always hogging the spotlight and not letting anyone else get a word in, it’s a bit of a problem. This habit screams ‘me, me, me’ and shows a lack of interest in what others have to say. Sharing the floor and showing genuine interest in others’ stories and opinions is key to good communication.

12. Flaking on plans all the time

Bailing on plans last minute once in a while is understandable, but if it’s a regular thing, that’s not cool. When you flake out constantly, it tells people they can’t rely on you. It disrupts plans and can leave your friends feeling pretty unimportant. Committing to plans and sticking to them is a basic part of being a dependable friend.

13. Not offering to help

Ever been in a situation where someone could clearly use a hand and just… didn’t offer to help? Yeah, that’s not great. Not offering help, especially when it’s obvious that it’s needed, can come across as uncaring or selfish. Lending a hand when you can is a simple way to show you’re considerate and willing to support those around you.

14. Talking over people

two guys chatting at cafe

Interrupting or talking over people is not just annoying, it’s disrespectful. It sends a message that what you have to say is more important than what they’re saying. Giving people the chance to speak and listening to them is crucial in any conversation. It’s about showing respect and valuing their input.

15. Not respecting people’s personal space

Invading personal space can make people feel uncomfortable or even threatened. It’s important to be mindful of how close you’re getting to someone, especially if you don’t know them well. Respecting personal space is about being aware of others’ comfort levels and acting accordingly.

16. Gossiping

Spreading rumors or gossiping about people is a quick way to lose trust. It’s harmful and can damage relationships and reputations. Keeping things to yourself and not engaging in gossip shows maturity and respect for other people’s privacy. It also shows you’re a decent person who doesn’t need to try and tear other people down because of your own insecurities.

17. Being negative

couple fighting unhappy argument relationship©iStock/DragonImages

Constant negativity can be exhausting for the people around you. It’s one thing to have a bad day, but consistently being a pessimist brings everyone down. Trying to find a balance and focusing on the brighter side of things can improve not only your mood but also the atmosphere around you.

18. Being judgmental

Judging people quickly and without knowing the full story is unfair and can be hurtful. It’s easy to jump to conclusions, but taking a step back and keeping an open mind is important. Understanding that everyone has their own story and struggles fosters empathy and kindness.

19. Showing off

Constantly bragging or showing off can be off-putting. It often comes across as arrogance or a need for validation. Being humble and letting your actions speak for themselves is a more admirable trait. Appreciating others’ achievements as well as your own is a sign of a well-rounded person.

20. Ignoring commitments

woman doing yoga in the floor

Whether it’s a work deadline or a personal commitment, consistently ignoring your responsibilities is a bad habit. It shows a lack of professionalism and reliability. Taking your commitments seriously and doing your best to fulfill them is crucial to maintaining trust and respect in any relationship.

21. Not caring about anyone else’s thoughts or opinions

Disregarding what others think or feel is a big no-no. It shows a lack of respect and can make people feel undervalued. Everyone has a right to their opinion, and acknowledging that is key to healthy interactions. It’s about being open-minded and considering different perspectives, not just your own.

22. Not cleaning up after yourself

Leaving a mess for others to clean up is pretty thoughtless. Whether it’s at home, work, or in public spaces, not cleaning up shows a lack of consideration for those around you. Taking a moment to tidy up after yourself is a small act that goes a long way in showing you care about your environment and the people in it.

23. Being overly critical

Constantly criticizing others can be demoralizing and hurtful. It’s one thing to give constructive feedback, but nitpicking every little thing is another. It’s important to find a balance and offer support and encouragement instead of just pointing out faults.

24. Not following through

Saying you’ll do something and then not doing it is frustrating for everyone involved. It makes you seem unreliable and untrustworthy. Following through on your commitments, no matter how small, is crucial for maintaining good relationships and trust.

25. Playing the blame game

Blaming other people for your own mistakes or problems is unfair and shows a lack of accountability. Taking responsibility for your actions is a sign of maturity and respect for those around you. It’s about owning up to your part and working on fixing it, instead of pointing fingers.

26. Being rigid/unwilling to adapt

Refusing to adapt or compromise can make you difficult to work or live with. It’s important to be flexible and open to change, especially in situations that involve others. Being willing to bend a little shows that you value the relationship more than your ego.

27. Making everything a competition

Turning every situation into a competition can be exhausting for those around you. It’s great to be driven, but not everything is a race. Collaborating and enjoying the journey, rather than just focusing on winning, can be more rewarding and enjoyable for everyone.

28. Dismissing legitimate feedback

Frustrated couple, headache and fight on sofa in divorce, disagreement or conflict in living room at home. Man and woman in toxic relationship, cheating affair or dispute on lounge couch at house

Ignoring feedback, especially when it’s meant to help you improve, is not a great trait. It can come across as arrogance or a lack of willingness to grow. Listening to feedback and considering how you can use it to better yourself shows maturity and a desire to evolve.

29. Not giving credit where it’s due

Shot of a happy young couple sharing a high five

Failing to acknowledge someone’s help or contributions is unfair and can damage relationships. It’s important to give credit to those who deserve it, whether in a professional setting or in your personal life. It shows that you’re fair and appreciate the efforts of others.

30. Being impatient

Impatience can be stressful for those around you. Whether it’s in a line, in traffic, or waiting for a response, showing frustration or anger over having to wait is inconsiderate. Practicing patience is a sign of maturity and respect for the processes and people involved in any situation.

31. Avoiding responsibility

Shirking responsibility, especially when things go wrong, is a sign of immaturity. It’s important to step up and take responsibility, both for successes and failures. This shows integrity and builds trust with those around you. Ducking out when the going gets tough is not the way to earn respect.

32. Forgetting important details

two guys chatting on the stairs

Consistently forgetting things like birthdays or important events can make people feel like they’re not important to you. Sure, everyone forgets things now and then, but making a habit of it isn’t great. Paying attention to the details that matter to those you care about shows that you value and respect them.

33. Overstepping privacy

Outdoor shot of young couple with drinks talking on a rooftop party

Digging into someone’s personal life without permission is a breach of trust. It’s important to respect people’s privacy and understand that some areas are off-limits unless they choose to share. Respecting boundaries goes a long way in building healthy, trusting relationships.

34. Refusing to compromise

Caucasian woman assistant talking and discussing work to businesswoman.

Inflexibility in situations that require give and take can make you hard to get along with. Whether it’s in a professional setting or personal relationships, the ability to compromise is key. It shows that you’re considerate of others’ needs and willing to find a middle ground.

35. Lacking gratitude

Failing to express gratitude can come off as unappreciative or entitled. A simple ‘thank you’ can make a big difference in how people perceive you. Acknowledging others’ efforts and kindness is a basic aspect of building positive relationships.

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Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.