Your heart gets broken by a person you thought was The One, but when you tell your friends, they say, “Didn’t you catch those red flags?” If only! The truth is that even though red flags get a lot of attention, it’s not always easy to spot all of them. There are some, like these 16, that even the most attentive people miss. At least you’ll know what to look out for now!
1. Love-Bombing Behavior
It’s sometimes easy to think love-bombing is a positive thing. I mean, it’s the person you really like giving you tons of attention and praise, and who would think that’s bad? Unfortunately, it can be a sign of a controlling or manipulative person, Cleveland Clinic warns, so it’s important to take a step back emotionally to see how things pan out before you give away your heart.
2. Being Too Protective
When the person you’ve started dating wants to protect you, like by walking you to your car to driving you to work, it might feel like they care about you. Be careful about this — they could be trying to control you and make you depend on them too much. You can take care of yourself!
3. Offering Vague Answers
If the person you’re dating is mysterious, this isn’t sexy — it’s a red flag! They might be shifty about answering questions about their past, previous relationships, or career. This should make your alarm bells ring because they’re clearly hiding something.
4. People Pleasing
Someone who’s always ready to drop everything to help you and always says “yes” to everything you want isn’t being authentic. They’re stuck in a people-pleasing loop and probably have a hidden agenda to impress you and reel you in. However, they won’t be able to maintain that facade forever, and you may not want to be around to find out what’s really lurking below the surface.
5. Sharing All The Same Interests
Being with someone who seems to have all the same hobbies, interests, and life goals as you feels so perfect. However, you know what they say: if something seems too good to be true, it likely is! They might be trying to fool you into thinking they’re your dream partner to win you over, only for the mask to slip once that happens. This is why you should take your time before hitting all the relationship milestones.
6. Overworking
Yes, it’s a good sign when someone’s ambitious and cares about working hard. However, if they’re spending all their Sundays at the office and can’t seem to talk about anything other than their career woes, this should be a red flag. They might be addicted to working or could struggle to have a healthy work-life balance, which would negatively impact you and your relationship with them.
7. Getting Annoyed About Little Things
Hey, everyone has days when they’re impatient, but it’s not cool if someone’s showing you this darker side to their personality all the time. Maybe they show up to dates when they’re moody or sulking about something that happened at work, or they get annoyed when you take a bit longer to order food at a restaurant. Do you want to be stuck with someone who’s negative and flips out over every little thing?
8. Sharing Grand Stories About Their Life
If the person makes you laugh at their wild anecdotes, maybe you should stop and question if their stories are legit. They might be spinning stories to make everything in their life and past seem super-interesting, and to make themselves seem unique and special. This could stem from insecurity issues, but either way, lies aren’t cool.
9. Laughing All The Time
Spending time with this person causes you to belly laugh so much that your stomach hurts. It’s a great feeling to share the same humor, but it’s a red flag if they’re always cracking jokes in every situation, even serious ones. What, are you dating a clown? You want to be with someone who can talk about heavy topics.
10. Having Different Relationship Goals
This red flag is easy to miss because it’s not always easy to talk about your relationship goals from the start. However, this is what can lead to stress and heartbreak because you might be hoping that you’re heading for a committed relationship while they’re keen to keep things casual and fun. Have the talk early on so you know what’s up!
11. Struggling To Make Eye Contact
While you know maintaining eye contact is healthy and important to build connection, you might think that the person you’re on a date with can’t look into your eyes because they’re shy or insecure. However, if their gaze keeps wandering off to the side, it’s shifty. What are they hiding? Research has revealed that people who are lying tend to avoid making eye contact, so that could be happening here.
12. Being Too Friend-Focused
It’s good for the person you’re dating to have their own social circle and enjoy spending time with their friends. What’s not cool, however, is if they’re glued to their crew. They might want to see you only when their friends are around, or choose group dates instead of ever having one-on-one time. It’s clear where their priorities lie, and they’re not with you.
13. Always Being Down For A Good Time
If the person you’re dating always wants to head to the pub for a beer and can’t say no to invites to the latest club openings, it should be a red flag. You’re going to spend every waking moment with this person at the latest party, which can become tiring really fast and make you wonder where they’re headed in life.
14. Only Having Negative Previous Relationships
When someone calls all their exes “crazy,” you might think it’s no big deal, but is that really the case? How can all their exes be nuts? Clearly they’re not telling you the full story. It’s also a bad sign if they say that you’re better than any other man/woman they’ve known. Don’t take it as a compliment — it’s a way to compare you to others and make you feel like you’ve got to work hard to keep their interest.
15. Disrespecting Other People’s Alone Time
It’s a violation of your boundaries when the person you’re dating wants to dominate all your spare time. They might mock you for wanting self-care sessions or an evening on your own, as though you should always be with them. But, you should feel like you have enough time to do your own thing, even if you’re in a committed relationship.
16. Making Belittling Comments
It’s not cool if the person you’re dating keeps putting you down in a “joking” way. Guess what? It’s not a joke. It’s a way for them to belittle you to gain more power in the relationship. Time to head for the nearest exit!
