As adults, we often find ourselves craving a pat on the back from our parents. Sure, we’re grown-ups now, but deep down, we still want to know that our parents are proud of us. The thing is, not all parents are vocal about their feelings. Some might be more reserved, leaving you wondering if they even notice your accomplishments. However, just because your parents aren’t constantly gushing over you 24/7 doesn’t mean they’re not bursting with pride on the inside. Their approval might come through in subtle ways that are easy to miss if you’re not paying attention. So, if you’re trying to decode your parents’ true feelings, here’s how you know they’re genuinely proud of the person you’ve become, even if they don’t always say it out loud.
1. They have plenty of pictures of you still up in their house.
You know your parents are super proud of you when your face is all over the family room. Yeah, it’s normal to see the graduation pics and stuff, but those random photos from vacations or nights out? That’s when you know they seriously love showing you off.
2. They showed they were proud by pushing you.
Even though you never heard their praise in as many words, your parents showed how proud they were by encouraging and inspiring you to be even better. They knew what you were capable of, and that’s an act of great pride. I’m not saying this approach is the best — after all, they are the reason that you now can’t take a compliment without being awkward — but they showed you how proud they were. They saw that you would achieve great things.
3. Their compliments were always understated but earned.
Your parents were not the type to be lavish with compliments that they didn’t mean. As a result, you always knew you had excelled at something when they said, “Well done.” They never directly said the words “we are proud of you,” but you knew in those moments that their pride was genuine. They would never try to pretend they were any different.
4. Their criticisms were always constructive.
Even though it may not have seemed it at the time, your parents’ constructive criticism really helped you grow. While your friends had parents who applauded them every time they stepped outside, yours knew how to support your growth. You can see now how your parents respected your maturity and ability to manage the harsh truth of criticism. They’ve always been proud of your resilience.
5. They cried at your graduation.
While they may have not had the words to articulate how special you were to them, their tears of pride at your graduation will have told the whole story. For them, witnessing milestones like that makes everything worth it. Those memories are for life.
6. They always treated you like an equal.
While some of your other friends were babied more, your parents always gave you independence and respect because they trusted you. It made you proud to be their child, and, in giving you that freedom, they showed you they were proud of you as well.
7. They tell all their friends about you.
Parents love to boast about their kids. It can be to other family members, grandparents, strangers they meet in the deli aisle, you name it. If you give them an opportunity to talk about how proud they are of their kids, they will. These conversations will be almost exclusively unsolicited but nonetheless well-received.
8. They helped you stay on course to fulfill your potential.
Sometimes, parents try to tell their children off by comparing them to siblings or other people’s kids: “Well, Jerry never needed extra time to complete the homework, so you’re just going to have to finish it tonight.” Your parents saw that comparing you to another child was pointless when what they really wanted was for you to fulfill your own potential. If they needed to push you and tell you off when you were underperforming, it was only because they were so proud of your capabilities and wanted you to deliver.
9. They still value your opinion on things.
A key sign that your parents remain proud of you is that they ask for your opinion — on what table to buy, which stocks are performing well, and what holiday destination is on trend. This shows that they have faith in your decision-making ability, and see you as a well-rounded, balanced person.
10. They trust you to sort out family logistics.
It’s a bit like passing the baton, the moment that parents allow a child to take over the operational side of family planning. Putting you in charge of getting reunions together, setting up weekly calls, and planning birthday parties shows that they trust you.
11. They don’t “helicopter” you anymore.
When you were younger, they needed to nag you and your siblings. However, since you’ve grown up and proven how independent you were, they don’t need to. Their distance — and occasional silence — is an unexpected sign that they trust you to get by yourself.
12. They always ask you about your next project.
When you were at school, your parents would always ask what was next, rather than celebrate your successes in the latest project. At the time, it made you feel like they weren’t proud of you, or expected more. Now, however, you can see that their expectation shows great pride and faith in you.
13. They interrogated your successes just as much as your failures.
Parents can often be accused of being too pushy or living vicariously through their children. This wasn’t what your parents did because they interrogated your successful projects as much as your unsuccessful ones. It showed you that the effort and dedication you put in was what they valued, rather than the outcome. Even though you sometimes missed their words of affirmation, you can see the value of their consistent approach.
14. They praised your siblings more than you.
While you began to recognize how your parents treated and loved your siblings differently, it was also clear that they were held to a different standard. While they got more praise, you can see that your parents didn’t expect as much of them. Even though you didn’t hear the words as often, you felt your parents’ trust and pride in other ways, such as the freedom they gave you. This taught you to find self-motivation and self-satisfaction rather than rely on other people’s fleeing validation.
15. They never seemed surprised when you succeeded.
Where you may have been expecting fireworks for key milestones that you reached, your parents never delivered. Looking back, this is what encouraged you to keep working hard to try to earn their praise. You can see now that they showed their pride in other ways, and that it was there all along.
16. Other parents seemed to celebrate their children more.
Comparison is the thief of satisfaction. When you were younger, you were always waiting for a word of praise from your parents. However, although they were more reserved, your parents’ way of showing pride did you good when you were younger and is loud and clear now.
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