People who leave you feeling drained and utterly exhausted from even a short conversation are known as energy vampires. They’re the type who take more than they give, who are so self-absorbed that they don’t even notice the effect they’re having on everyone else. In other words, they’re the worst — but could this be you? If you’re doing any of these things, you’re sucking the life out of the room and all the people in it.
1. You’re A Complaint Competitor.
When you have conversations with people, whether colleagues, friends, or even family members, you always try to one-up them with your constant complaining. If someone had a horrible date, you’ll tell them how your date was worse. If they had a bad day at work, yours was absolutely abysmal. People don’t get to share their experiences because yours always trump them.
2. You Bring Drama To The Table.
Engaging in drama on a regular basis can cause conflicts that exhaust all your friends. You might dominate hangouts with your dramatic stories to get everyone’s attention or pick fights with strangers to cause chaos. This can make people feel like you’re making everything about you… and you are.
3. You’re Carrying Rainstorms Around.
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Whenever someone expresses their exciting goals and dreams, you’re the one who challenges their path to success. While it’s good to offer constructive feedback when it’s warranted and welcome, your words are always laced with negativity. It’s important to balance it with positivity and encouragement, as well.
4. You Have An Overbearing Presence.
If you’re overbearing or dominating, you always try to take over. You talk louder than anyone else and push aside your listening skills so you can hog the spotlight. People get tired of how you don’t give them some stage time. Ever. It’s okay to blend into the background sometimes and let other people come to the forefront.
5. You Cross Other People’s Boundaries.
It’s disrespectful if you try to step over other people’s boundaries and force them to get out of their comfort zone. So, for example, if you stand or sit too close to others without being aware of how uncomfortable it makes them or you force them to do things they don’t want to do just because you like them, you’re not respecting them or their boundaries.
6. You’re Riddled With Jealousy.
Maybe you’re really jealous of the people around you because they have things that you don’t, and it often comes out as belittling comments that hurt people. Instead of sulking or becoming critical when people experience success, try to be a supportive friend. Focus your energy on reaching your own goals rather than trashing other people’s accomplishments.
7. You Feel Nothing’s Ever Good Enough.
For the energy vampire, nothing is ever good enough. No matter what lengths people go to in order to ensure you feel supported, loved, and cared for, it just doesn’t meet your lofty standards. Instead, you complain about how you’re so hard done by and no one appreciates how much you do for them. This is delusional and draining.
8. You Engage In Manipulative Tactics.
Trying to manipulate people can make them feel used and drained. Maybe you’re always giving people sob stories and asking them for money or you’re putting them down so you can feel better. Ugh, no wonder people always feel depressed after seeing you. Being underhanded to try and bend people to your will is incredibly toxic, and it won’t be long before you’re isolated and alone because of it.
9. You Derail Conversations.
When chatting or texting with people, you might always try to steer the conversation onto topics you want to talk about. Can’t you read the room? Not everyone’s interested in looking through hundreds of pics of your recent holiday or watching your favorite comedy YouTube videos. Give others the mic occasionally!
10. You’re Always Chasing Attention.
Every time you’re around people, you try to get the most attention. This could be achieved by dressing more glamorously than anyone else, cracking lots of jokes, or bringing gossip bombshells to the table. It gets a bit tiring after a while, not to mention obvious. The need to always be front and center in every interaction points to serious insecurities, and no one is going to want to put up with that.
11. You Brush Off People’s Problems.
When others try to share their problems at work or in their relationship, you don’t really give them much support. Instead, you brush off their feelings, telling them not to worry and that everything will be fine. This way, you can quickly turn the conversation back onto you. What you don’t realize is that you’re belittling their concerns, not encouraging them to think positively.
12. You’re Selfish With People’s Time.
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A friend who’s draining will hog your time and energy. For instance, at a party, you insist on standing in the corner talking to the friend you came with all night instead of letting them work the room. Maybe you speak louder than everyone else when in a group setting so that your voice is the one that gets heard. Needless to say, this is immature and incredibly exhausting to be around.
13. You Love Guilt Trips.
When you need help from loved ones but they’re not in a position to give it, you resort to guilt-tripping traps. So, you might say something like, “Oh, I don’t know how I’ll manage without your help” or “I wouldn’t ask you unless I was really in need, but I get it if you don’t want to help me.” This is incredibly manipulative — people have their own lives and won’t always be able to drop everything to solve your problems.
14. You Tend To Exaggerate.
People who tire you out tend to exaggerate all their stories to keep you hooked on what they have to say and to enhance their drama. Are you guilty of this? For example, you might say, “I was feeling so sick, I wanted to die” when you had a cold. Or, “Everyone in my workplace hates me” even though it’s, like, one person.
15. Your Stories Are On Repeat.
Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or partner keeps telling you the same anecdotes and they act like they’ve never mentioned them before? You might be doing this. Your friend might try to cut in and say, “Oh, I remember this” but you just ignore them to share the funny or amusing story for the hundredth time.
16. You’re Running Hot And Cold.
It’s draining to deal with someone who’s unpredictable and sends mixed messages. One minute, you’re in a good mood and being generous. The next, you’re giving someone the cold shoulder and texting friends one-word answers. People never know what to expect from you.
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