Chivalry might be dead, but “modern chivalry” doesn’t need to be. You might not need a guy to throw his jacket over puddles for you to walk over, but these 20 examples of modern chivalry are definitely worth your time. Who doesn’t want to be doted on every now and again?
1. He calls when he says he will.
A study by dating site Match.com surveyed over 500 women of all ages and found what types of modern chivalry they want. A whopping 84 percent of women said a man who calls when he says he will is the most important thing.
2. He checks you got home safe.
This is a common courtesy but why is it so rare? When you go home after a date, you want a man who shows he cares about you by checking that you arrived safely. Plus, it’s the perfect excuse to tell you that he had an amazing time. Of all the modern chivalry examples on this list, this is also just basic courtesy.
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4. He texts during the day.
He doesn’t have to be texting you all the time, especially because you’re busy AF, but it’s nice if he drops you a message to say he was thinking about you. It makes you feel special. In the same study mentioned above, four in five women said they wanted attentive texts during the day.
5. He turns his phone off or puts it away when he’s with you.
There’s nothing more disrespectful than a man who takes calls and keeps looking at his phone during a date. If he can switch it off or put it out of sight, he’s a chivalrous guy worthy of your time.
6. He’s open about his intentions.
He’s not afraid to tell you what he really thinks and feels about you so you know where you stand. He should respect your feelings instead of leading you on, as a true gentleman would.
7. He plans dates.
A guy who texts you in the early hours to tell you to go over to his house is lazy AF. You need a man who’ll put in more effort. The ideal scenario is that he makes an effort to plan romantic dates you’ll love. This sets him apart from other suitors by miles!
8. He calls instead of texts.
Texting is fast and convenient but it’s not the same thing as hearing the guy’s voice. When he calls to invite you out on a date instead of just shooting off a text, he’s showing you that he’s really interested.
9. He cleans up nicely.
Men used to take care of their appearance and make a real effort to look good on dates. Now they just rock up looking like they haven’t shaved or slept in days. Screw that. A man who’s chivalrous will want to make a good impression by being neat and looking like he spent at least five minutes choosing an outfit in colors that match.
10. He pays the bill.
He doesn’t have to pay the bill after a first date, but it’s a really nice gesture if he does. It’s his way of thanking you for meeting with him. You can pay your own way or even be the one doing the treating, but the thought counts.
11. He walks you to your front door.
If he picked you up for the date (chivalrous bonus points!), he should have the decency to walk you to your front door. There’s nothing chivalrous about being dropped off outside your gate like a DHL package.
12. He kisses you on the forehead.
Anyone can make out after a first date, but that’s become a tad predictable. It feels so much more special when a guy kisses you on the forehead. It’s so romantic!
13. He cooks you dinner.
He takes note of what foods you’re allergic to and what your favorite pasta dish is, so he can whip up a delicious dinner instead of just inviting you over for Netflix and chill.
14. He brings you thoughtful gifts.
This is one of the best examples of modern chivalry. He doesn’t have to bring you expensive gifts (that can actually be a bit unsettling, like he’s trying too hard). But it shows he’s making an effort to impress you and that he’s really interested if he brings you something he knows you’ll love. It doesn’t even have to cost anything. A pretty flower in your favorite color that he picked from his garden shows you that he pays attention to what you say.
15. He walks closest to the road.
When you’re walking around town together after dinner, he’ll walk closest to the road so that you’re protected from cars zooming past. This simple gesture actually means so much—he’s willing to protect you. Yes, you can look after yourself, but who doesn’t want to feel cared for?
16. He doesn’t eye out other women.
Just because he noticed the hot blonde who walked into the restaurant, he’s respectful enough not to stare her down. He should treat you like you’re the only woman in the room who matters.
17. He’s nice to your parents.
As in, genuinely nice. He gets out of the car to greet them, has a friendly conversation with them, and shows that he’s a sweetheart. If he can be respectful to your loved ones, he’s really treating you with respect.
18. He gives you real compliments.
Forget calling you sexy and beautiful—the modern chivalrous guy pays you genuine compliments that make you feel good, not just flatter you so he can score points. So, he might compliment your beautiful view of the world or the poetic way you speak. He’s really saying, “I notice you.”
19. He lets you order first.
He doesn’t jump in and order dessert for you—that’s not chivalrous, that’s annoying AF! But he will let you order before he does. It’s such a simple act of respect, but it’s scary how few men actually do it.
20. He introduces you to everyone he knows.
You might not be an official couple, but he still introduces you to everyone he meets, even if they’re just acquaintances. This is a way to show you that you matter and he’s proud to have you on his arm.
21. He makes sure you’re having a great time.
During the date, he’ll ask if you’re enjoying the music or the dinner so he knows you’re having fun. This shows that he values your opinions and wants to make a good impression on you. The result is that you feel special, which is exactly what you should feel on every single date.