Close friendships are often the stuff of legendary tales—two people sharing laughs, tears, and countless memories. But what happens when one starts feeling something deeper, something that goes beyond just platonic love? It can be tricky to navigate and even trickier to identify. If you’re questioning whether those lingering looks and innocent touches have more to them, here are some signs that might indicate your best friend is harboring deeper feelings for you.
1. Their texts have changed.
Back in the day, it was all about sharing memes, complaining about your boss, or planning your next brunch. Now, their messages seem more intimate, more reflective. They text you good morning, ask about your day in detail, and wish you a good night. If you’ve noticed a shift towards more personal conversations, it’s a sign they might see you in a new light.
2. They’re always up for a good time, no matter the plans.
Remember when coordinating schedules was like decoding a cryptic puzzle? Suddenly, they’re free all the time, anytime you are. If your friend is always available, eager even, for any plan you suggest, it’s a possible indication they want to spend more time with you, hoping the nature of your relationship might change.
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4. They’re always initiating physical closeness.
We all have different boundaries when it comes to personal space. However, if your best friend has become increasingly touchy, often seeking opportunities to be close—be it a hug that lasts a bit too long or a touch on the arm—it might be a sign of growing affection.
5. They get super jealous when you spend time with other people.
Best friends can be protective; that’s a given. But there’s a difference between being protective and being jealous. If they seem uncomfortable or distant when you talk about other close friends or potential romantic interests, they might be seeing you through the lens of romantic love.
6. They want to have deep, soul-searching conversations.
Conversations have shifted from everyday banter to exploring dreams, future aspirations, and deep-seated fears. They’re keen on understanding your world view, your vision for the future, and where they fit in. It’s like they’re trying to gauge compatibility on a different, more intimate level.
7. Their compliments have evolved.
Sure, best friends boost each other’s confidence. But lately, their compliments sound more like what you’d hear from someone who’s smitten. Instead of “That shirt looks cool on you,” it’s “You have the most captivating eyes” or “There’s something about your presence that’s so alluring.”
8. They remember every tiny detail.
It’s not just about remembering your birthday or your favorite ice cream flavor. Now they recall the small anecdotes you mention in passing, the dreams you talked about years ago, or how you like your coffee on gloomy days versus sunny ones. This heightened memory shows they’re not just listening; they’re absorbing every aspect of you.
9. You can see it in their eyes.
You know that gaze—the one that lingers a little too long, that intense look when you’re talking, or those moments they get lost looking at you when they think you’re not watching. Eyes are windows to the soul, and they might be unconsciously revealing their true feelings.
10. They’re your biggest cheerleader.
It’s one thing to support your friend; it’s another to advocate for them passionately. They celebrate even your smallest victories as if they’re their own, push you towards opportunities, and believe in you, sometimes more than you believe in yourself. It’s a deep-seated pride and faith in you that goes beyond just friendship.
11. There’s been a shift in their social media habits.
Gone are the days of tagging you in random memes (well, those are still there). But now there are more posts with deeper captions about you, more pictures of just the two of you, and maybe even a hint of wistfulness or longing in shared songs or quotes. Their social media now feels like a canvas reflecting their feelings for you.
12. They touch you more often.
This is similar to the above about physical closeness but is focused more on direct touch. Not in a creepy or intrusive way, but in those small, seemingly innocent gestures. Maybe it’s a lingering hand on your back, playing with your hair, or brushing off a non-existent lint from your shoulder. Physical contact has increased, and there’s an underlying tenderness in their touch.
13. Their texts and calls become more frequent and intimate.
Remember those midnight birthday wishes or random memes shared once in a while? Now, it’s morning greetings, updates throughout the day, and deeper conversations that last until the wee hours. The nature of your chats has taken a turn towards personal, profound topics, sometimes bordering on flirty.
14. They make more time for you even though they’re swamped.
Even with their busy schedule, they now make it a point to see you more often. And it’s not always about big plans or outings. Simple things, like grabbing a coffee, running errands together, or just lounging at home—any excuse to be in your company.
15. Their gifts have become more personal.
You used to get birthday presents or occasional treats, but now there’s a change. The gifts are more thoughtful, reflective of your tastes and preferences, often with an intimate touch—a book you mentioned once, a scarf in your favorite color, or even a handwritten note.
16. Their mood is influenced by yours.
Your highs and lows start to affect them more directly. If you’re having a bad day, they seem to feel down too, trying to cheer you up or just being there silently supporting you. When you’re elated, their happiness amplifies, reveling in your joy. This emotional synchrony indicates they’re deeply connected to your feelings.
17. They seek your opinion first.
Before making decisions, especially the significant ones, they want to know what you think. It’s not just about seeking advice but wanting your viewpoint, valuing your judgment, and sometimes, ensuring their choices align with yours.
18. Their plans for the future always include you.
Whether it’s about a holiday next year, moving to a new city, or even trivial things like attending a concert next month, you’re always in the picture. They can’t seem to imagine their future milestones without you by their side.
19. They’re suddenly super protective of you.
While a best friend always has your back, now there’s an added layer of protectiveness. They’re more attentive to your well-being, ensuring you’re treated well by others, and sometimes even getting slightly territorial (in a good way) about ensuring you’re okay.
20. You catch them daydreaming.
You’re chatting, and suddenly they’re lost in thought, gazing at you. When you ask, they brush it off with a “nothing” or a vague response, but that dreamy look says otherwise. They’re likely pondering the “what ifs” of a relationship with you.
21. They remember the tiny details.
Sure, best friends remember things. But now, they seem to recall the minutiae of your life. That offhand comment you made about your favorite candy as a kid? They’ve bought it for you. The name of your childhood pet? They bring it up in stories. Their attention to the small details about you is astonishing.
22. They’ve become more open with their feelings.
Though they might not directly profess their love, they’re now more open about discussing their emotions, vulnerabilities, and insecurities. It’s as if they’re laying the groundwork for a deeper emotional connection.
23. You sense a change in the air.
It’s hard to pinpoint, but things feel different. The way they look at you, the extended silences filled with tension, the unsaid words—there’s an electric charge, a magnetism that wasn’t there before, or perhaps you just didn’t notice.
24. The compliments have taken on a different tone.
While they’ve always been supportive, now they’re complimenting things that are deeply intrinsic to you. It’s not just about how you look, but about who you are. “You have such a beautiful soul” or “Your mind amazes me” become frequent affirmations.
25. They value your happiness above everything.
It’s not just about spending time together or shared experiences anymore. They genuinely want to see you happy, even if it means sacrificing something on their end. Your happiness becomes their priority.
26. They’re suddenly more nervous around you.
You’ve been friends for ages, yet lately, there’s a palpable nervous energy. They’re more self-conscious, second-guessing, or even stuttering. It’s like they’re back in high school, trying to impress their crush.
27. They drop hints about the future.
Conversations about the future aren’t new, but now they include more “we” than “I”. They subtly hint at plans that involve both of you, indicating they see a potential future where you play a significant role.
28. They ask your friends about your feelings.
You might hear from mutual friends that they’ve been asking about you. Not just about how you’re doing, but deeper questions trying to gauge if you might feel the same way about them.
29. Shared silences become more frequent and meaningful.
You’ve always been comfortable in each other’s company, but now there are moments of silence that feel charged, intimate, and speak more than words. It’s in these quiet moments that emotions amplify.
30. They find reasons to spend more one-on-one time.
Group hangouts are fun, but they seem to be pushing for more solo time with you. Whether it’s a movie night at home or a walk in the park, they cherish these private moments where they can connect deeper.
31. You catch them looking at you differently.
It’s that deep, longing look, filled with emotion and a hint of vulnerability. Sometimes, when they think you’re not watching, you notice their gaze lingering on you just a bit longer than usual.
32. They never want to talk about your relationships.
If you start dating someone new, their whole demeanor changes. While they used to be happy for you when you met someone you like, suddenly, they act like it’s the biggest inconvenience and try to paint the person as all wrong for you even if they’ve never met. Could it be because your best friend is in love with you?
33. They’re very open about their sexuality all of a sudden.
If your best friend is someone of the same gender, they may suddenly make it a point to say that they’re attracted to the same sex or that they “love who they love” regardless of gender as a way of dropping a hint that they’re in love with you. They’re putting out feelers to see how you’ll react and hoping you’ll pick up on what they’re putting down.
34. They wave off questions about their own dating life.
In addition to not wanting you to get into another relationship, they also dismiss the idea of dating anyone themself. They claim that they’re not interested or even joke that they would only get with someone who has the traits you possess.
What to do when you think your best friend is in love with you
Navigating the intense web of emotions when you suspect your best friend is in love with you can be both flattering and nerve-wracking. The foundation of your friendship might feel a bit shaky, and it’s natural to be uncertain about the next steps. Here are some actionable suggestions to help you tread these emotional waters.
1. Acknowledge your own feelings first.
Before diving into any confrontation or conversation, take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Are you shocked, flattered, uncomfortable, or perhaps even reciprocating those feelings? Knowing where you stand emotionally will guide your next steps.
2. Choose a good time to have a serious talk.
This isn’t a conversation you want to rush. Pick a time when both of you are free from distractions and stresses. Ideally, find a quiet, private place where you can discuss things openly and honestly.
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4. Be honest but gentle.
While it’s crucial to be transparent about your feelings, approach the conversation with kindness and sensitivity. Remember, if they truly have feelings for you, this is a vulnerable moment for them.
4. Ask directly if you’re unsure where they stand.
If you’re still uncertain about their feelings after observing their behavior, it might be worth directly asking them. It could clear the air and prevent misunderstandings.
5. Set boundaries if needed.
If they confess their feelings and you don’t reciprocate, it’s essential to establish boundaries. This might mean taking a break from hanging out one-on-one or discussing what interactions need to change.
6. Seek a bit of outside perspective.
Chatting with someone outside the situation can offer fresh insights and help you process your emotions. Whether it’s another friend, a family member, or a therapist, getting a different perspective can be invaluable.
7. Prepare for a whole host of emotions.
Understanding that both you and your best friend might go through a whirlwind of feelings is essential. It’s okay to feel sadness, confusion, guilt, or even relief. Emotions aren’t linear, and there’s no “right” way to feel.
8. Re-evaluate the friendship if necessary.
It might be a tough pill to swallow, but consider if continuing the friendship in its current form is feasible or healthy. Sometimes, taking a step back or giving each other space can allow for healing and clarity. It’s hard to end a friendship without any drama, but you have to do what’s right for you.
9. Avoid leading them on.
If you’re certain you don’t reciprocate their feelings, be mindful of your actions. What might seem like innocent gestures to you could be misinterpreted as mixed signals by your friend.
10. Remember why you became friends in the first place.
In the thick of the emotional turmoil, it’s essential to remember the bond you both share. The foundation of your friendship, the memories, the laughter, and the shared experiences are what made you close. Regardless of the outcome, cherishing the good times can serve as a reminder of the unique connection you both share.
