When a guy is chasing us, it’s exciting. We’ll start fantasizing about the amazing future we could have with him and, sometimes, we’ll quickly start to fall for that vision. Next thing we know, we’re basically in love. And a few weeks later, we’re wondering how we could have been so blind.
If this is happening to you way too much, take a step back and and re-evaluate your dating style. Instead of getting caught up in the chase, use it to your advantage:
- Insist on the chase to gauge his interest level. You should never ever ever let yourself fall for a guy who isn’t trying to chase you. Why? Because it’s a law of the universe that if he’s not chasing you in the beginning, he’ll disappoint you in the end. If a guy is into you, he’ll come after you; if he’s not coming after you, he’s not into you. It’s the biggest test of whether he’s worth your time — make him pass it. And whatever you do, don’t chase the guy. That’s just an invitation for him to use you and you definitely don’t want that.
- Draw out the chase so he respects you. When a guy is chasing you, he’s on his best behavior. That’s not who he really is. Who he is will come out later. And the longer you keep him in hunter mode by not giving in to him, the more he’ll value you, and the better he’ll be to you after he has you. So extend the chase as long you can by focusing on yourself and having fun, continuing to meet other guys, not falling for him too fast, and taking your time before hooking up with him. It will pay off. We promise.
- Ask questions during the chase to figure him out. It’s tempting to let go when a guy is trying so hard to charm you. But this is precisely when you need to keep your head on straight. Enjoy the attention but use it. When he’s in hunter mode, he’s feeling open — so talk to him… Find out who he is and what makes him tick. Without being overbearing, ask him about his past and what he wants in the future. Don’t just let go — try to figure out if he’s worth letting go for.
- Preserve the chase to keep his interest. Like we said, guys are most open and interested when they’re chasing you. So preserve the chase even after you’ve started hooking up. Don’t suddenly revolve your entire life around him, idly sitting on the couch while he watches a game. Even if he seems to want you around all the time, maintain some independence — go do your own thing and see him later. He’ll want you more intensely and for longer if he feels like you’re a little out of reach, and the relationship you build will be that much stronger.