If You Have Any Of These 40 Personality Traits, You’re An Extremely Toxic Person

No one likes to think of themselves as a toxic person, but if you have these personality traits, the label may fit a bit more smugly than you’d like to admit. No one’s perfect and we all have our flaws, but these behaviors are problematic and will earn you a reputation for being someone everyone is better off avoiding altogether.

1. Manipulative behavior

stern millennial woman arms crossed outside

If you’re always pulling the strings in relationships or situations to get what you want, that’s manipulative behavior. It’s about controlling others for your benefit, often at their expense. This kind of behavior erodes trust and can leave the people around you feeling used and powerless. It’s not just playing smart; it’s playing dirty.

2. Dishonesty

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Regularly lying, bending the truth, or hiding things? That’s a one-way ticket to becoming a toxic person. Dishonesty breaks down trust, the foundation of all healthy relationships. Whether it’s big lies or little white lies, they add up, and soon enough, people start to question everything you say.

3. Lack of empathy

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If you find it hard to understand or share the feelings of others, that’s a lack of empathy. This trait can make you seem cold, uncaring, and indifferent to the struggles or pain of others. It’s not about being tough; it’s about being disconnected from the emotional well-being of those around you. (If this is something you struggle with, by the way, give our sister site, Sweetn, a visit. Their advice, tips, and tricks will change your life in some amazing ways. You can find them here.)

4. Narcissism

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Narcissism goes beyond just having a big ego. It’s an inflated sense of self-importance coupled with a need for constant admiration and a lack of regard for others’ feelings. Narcissists often leave a trail of broken relationships and can be emotionally damaging to those close to them.

5. Constant criticism

man arms crossed in office

Everyone’s a critic, but if you’re always finding fault and never satisfied, that’s toxic. Constant criticism can wear down someone’s self-esteem and confidence. It’s one thing to offer constructive feedback; it’s another to constantly belittle and nitpick. If you do this, you seriously need to stop.

6. Gaslighting

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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where you make someone question their own sanity or perceptions. It’s a dangerous form of emotional abuse that can leave people feeling confused, anxious, and unable to trust their own judgment.

7. Selfishness

couple sitting outside in city

If it’s all about you all the time, that’s selfishness. This trait means consistently putting your needs and desires above everyone else’s, often without regard for the consequences to others. It can leave the people in your life feeling unvalued and neglected.

8. Jealousy

woman looking at man's computer on couch

A little jealousy now and then is human, but when it’s constant, it becomes toxic. It often stems from insecurity and can manifest in possessiveness, suspicion, or resentment. It’s a trait that can smother relationships and create a hostile environment.

9. Aggressiveness

There’s a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Aggressiveness can be intimidating and damaging, creating an environment of fear. It’s not about being strong; it’s about being hostile.

10. Impulsiveness

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Acting without thinking can be reckless and often leads to hurtful or harmful situations. Impulsive behavior shows a lack of self-control and can be destabilizing to those around you. It’s not about being spontaneous; it’s about being unpredictable in a negative way.

11. Irresponsibility

irresponsible young woman texting outside

Irresponsibility means shirking your duties and obligations regularly. It’s about making commitments and then bailing, leaving others to pick up the slack. This trait creates a lack of trust and puts undue pressure on those around you. It’s not about being carefree; it’s about being careless.

12. Blaming everyone else and never taking responsibility

stern young nonbinary person

Always pointing fingers at others for your own mistakes? That’s a classic sign of toxicity. Blaming others means you’re not taking responsibility for your actions. It leads to a culture of defensiveness and mistrust and shows a lack of maturity and accountability.

13. Lack of remorse

man standing against wall outside

If you mess up and feel no guilt or desire to make amends, that’s a lack of remorse. This trait shows a disregard for the feelings and well-being of others. It’s not about being tough; it’s about being insensitive to the impact of your actions.

14. Passive-aggressiveness

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Passive-aggressive behavior is expressing negative feelings indirectly rather than openly talking about them. It creates confusion and conflict without the chance for clear resolution. This behavior is frustrating for others, who can sense the hostility but are left unable to address it directly.

15. Unreliability

young woman standing against painted brick wall

Consistently failing to do what you say you will? That’s unreliability. It leaves others feeling like they can’t count on you. Whether it’s missing deadlines or breaking promises, this trait strains relationships and shows a lack of respect for others’ time and efforts.

16. Pessimism

pessimistic guy against brick wall

Being a downer all the time can drain the energy of those around you. Constant pessimism breeds a negative atmosphere. It’s one thing to be realistic; it’s another to be perpetually negative, which can sap others’ morale and dampen the overall spirit.

17. Control freak tendencies

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If you always need things done your way and can’t delegate or let go, that’s a control freak tendency. It’s about a lack of trust in others and a need to micromanage, often leading to stress and resentment in relationships and teams.

18. Unforgiving nature

trendy woman outside on sunny day

Holding grudges and being unable to forgive can make you toxic. It’s about hanging onto past wrongs and not allowing for the growth or change of others. This unforgiving nature can lead to bitterness and an inability to move forward in relationships.

19. Gossiping

two friends chatting with skateboards

Gossiping is spreading rumors or private information about others. It’s a form of betrayal and can quickly poison environments. Gossip creates a culture of mistrust and can damage reputations unfairly.

20. Need for constant attention

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Craving the spotlight all the time? This need for constant attention can be exhausting for those around you. It often stems from insecurity and can manifest in dominating conversations, exaggerating achievements, or even creating drama to stay at the center of attention.

21. Inability (or unwillingness) to listen

two friends going for a walk

If you find yourself always talking and rarely listening, that’s a problem. The inability to listen means you’re not truly engaging with others. It’s a form of disrespect and indicates a self-centered approach to interactions, leaving others feeling undervalued and unheard.

22. Disrespectfulness

guy sitting on colorful basketball court

If you’re regularly disrespectful, you’re basically trampling over others’ feelings and opinions. It’s about not valuing the dignity and worth of those around you. This trait can manifest in rude comments, dismissive attitudes, or treating others as inferior. It creates an environment of hostility and diminishes the self-esteem of those affected.

23. Rage and anger issues

angry woman indoor portrait

Flying off the handle at the slightest provocation? That’s toxic. Rage and anger issues lead to an atmosphere of fear and walking on eggshells for those around you. It’s not just about losing your temper; it’s about creating a space where others feel unsafe or constantly anxious.

24. Defensiveness

young woman in city street serious

Being defensive all the time means never owning up to your faults and always finding a way to make it someone else’s problem. It stops you from learning from your mistakes and growing. Defensiveness pushes people away and hinders open, honest communication.

25. Over-dramatizing

dramatic couple looking at phone

Making a mountain out of every molehill? That’s over-dramatizing. It’s about blowing things out of proportion and creating unnecessary drama. This behavior can be draining for those around you, as they’re constantly caught up in your whirlwind of crises.

26. Hypocrisy

smiling man in hat looking up

Do as I say, not as I do – that’s hypocrisy. It’s about holding others to standards you don’t follow yourself. This trait is frustrating and disheartening for others, as it shows a lack of integrity and fairness.

27. Lack of boundaries

couple standing face to face outside

If you don’t respect others’ personal space, privacy, or limits, that’s a lack of boundaries. This behavior can make people feel violated and uncomfortable. It’s about not understanding or caring where you end and another person begins.

28. Mood swings

happy young woman outside

Unpredictable mood swings can create a sense of instability and anxiety in those around you. It’s like others have to walk on eggshells, never knowing what version of you they’re going to get. It’s not just about being emotionally expressive; it’s about being emotionally volatile.

29. Disregard for others’ feelings

smiling man walking through city

Ignoring how your actions impact others? That’s a big red flag. Disregarding others’ feelings shows a self-centered approach to life. It’s about focusing solely on your needs and desires, without considering the emotional cost to those around you.

30. Arrogance

arrogant woman arms crossed on corner

Arrogance is more than just confidence; it’s an inflated sense of self-importance. It’s thinking you’re better than others and often expressing it in dismissive or belittling ways. This trait alienates people and makes meaningful connections difficult.

31. Sarcasm

man on sunny day walking by water

While a bit of sarcasm can be humorous, constant sarcasm can be cutting and hurtful. It’s often used as a passive-aggressive way to express disdain or criticism. Overuse of sarcasm can create an unwelcoming and harsh environment.

32. Intolerance

serious couple with matching outfits

Being intolerant of people’s differences – whether it’s their beliefs, backgrounds, or lifestyles – is toxic. It’s about being closed-minded and often leads to discriminatory and hurtful behaviors. Intolerance creates a divisive and hostile atmosphere, making it difficult for diverse ideas or people to be accepted.

33. Stubbornness

young smiling millennial guy in street

Being stubborn all the time isn’t just about being strong-willed; it’s refusing to consider other viewpoints or ideas. This inflexibility can stifle growth and progress, both in personal and professional settings. It leads to a stalemate in relationships and situations, where nothing changes because you refuse to budge.

34. Victim mentality

young woman outside hands in pockets

Always seeing yourself as the victim, even when it’s not the case? That’s a victim mentality. It’s about refusing to take responsibility for your actions and blaming everything on external factors. This mindset keeps you from making positive changes, as you’re always handing over control to someone or something else.

35. Inconsistency

smiling guy at night market

If you’re all over the place with your words and actions, that’s inconsistency. It makes you unreliable and untrustworthy. People never know what to expect from you, which makes it hard for them to depend on you. This trait creates confusion and uncertainty in relationships.

36. Over-dependence

couple huddled close together on sunny day

Relying too much on others for your emotional or physical needs is over-dependence. It can strain relationships and prevent you from developing self-reliance. This behavior often leads to a one-sided relationship dynamic where the burden falls unfairly on one person.

37. Emotional detachment

guy alone on city street

Keeping your emotions locked up might seem like a way to stay in control, but excessive emotional detachment is harmful. It creates a barrier to forming deep, meaningful relationships. People around you might feel like they can never truly get to know or connect with you.

38. Over-competitiveness

smiling couple having fun outside

A little competition can be healthy, but being overly competitive, especially in non-competitive situations, is toxic. It’s about wanting to win at all costs, even if it means hurting others or damaging relationships. This trait can turn even simple activities or interactions into stressful encounters.

39. Cynicism

smiling woman with wind-blown hair

Having a cynical view of the world can be toxic, especially when it’s constant. It’s one thing to be skeptical; it’s another to dismiss everything as hopeless or insincere. This outlook can be draining for those around you and prevents you from seeing the good in situations and people.

40. Exploitative behavior

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If you’re using others for your gain without considering the impact on them, that’s exploitative behavior. It’s about taking advantage of people’s kindness, weaknesses, or resources for your own benefit. This behavior is harmful and destructive, breaking down trust and respect in relationships.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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