If you’ve ever been around someone who made you second-guess your sanity, you could be the victim of gaslighting. How do you know for sure? Listen out for the following phrases — the person saying them likely wants you to doubt yourself so they can manipulate you.
1. “You’re overreacting.”
When someone consistently tells you that your reactions are too extreme or sensitive, it might be a sign they’re trying to undermine your feelings. This habitual dismissal can lead you to question just how appropriate your emotional responses are. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s important to trust your emotional instincts.
2. “You’re not remembering things correctly.”
Being told that your recollections of events or conversations are wrong can be a subtle way of someone manipulating your perception of reality. This technique is designed to sow seeds of doubt and confusion in your mind, making you distrust your own memory. Don’t let someone else allow someone else to redefine your reality.
3. “I never said that.”
When someone denies having said something that you clearly remember them uttering, it is often an attempt to make you question your ability to remember things. This form of denial is a classic gaslighting tactic aimed at destroying your confidence in your own recollections. They can deny it all they’d like — you know what you heard. (BTW, if you’re sick of getting into relationships with people who gaslight you, check out our sister site, Sweetn. Their research-backed tips, advice, and tricks will give your love life a 180 in just a few weeks.)
4. “You’re crazy!”
If you’re frequently labeled as “crazy” or “unstable,” it’s likely an attempt to discredit your perceptions and feelings. This damaging label is often used to undermine your credibility and make you question your own sanity. Recognize this as a tactic to manipulate your self-perception and not an accurate reflection of your mental state.
5. “You’re just being paranoid.”
Dismissing your genuine concerns as paranoia is another method someone might use to invalidate your feelings and make you doubt your judgment. This can lead you to question your own instincts and intuition. It’s important to remind yourself that your concerns are valid and deserve to be addressed.
6. “Everyone agrees with me, you know.”
When someone always insists that their viewpoint is universally shared, it can make you feel isolated and doubtful of your own perspective. This tactic is often used to manipulate you into doubting your beliefs and experiences. Remember, not everyone shares the same perspective, and your viewpoint isn’t wrong just because it’s different.
7. “You’re making things up.”
Being accused of fabricating events or lying can be a sign of gaslighting. They’re doing this to make you question your reality and undermine your trust in your own experiences. It’s important to remain confident in your truth and not allow someone else’s accusations to warp your reality.
8. “You’re so emotional.”
If you’re consistently labeled as “emotional,” it’s their way of belittling you and insisting that having feelings completely overrides. your ability to be logical. By dismissing your concerns due to your “emotional” state, the person can make you feel like you’re overreacting and not thinking clearly, which is BS. Your emotions are a part of who you are and should not be used against you.
9. “That’s not how it was.”
Being told that your version of events is faulty is another potential sign of gaslighting. This tactic can lead you to doubt your ability to read the room and remember how things went, undermining your confidence in your own recollections. Trust in your ability to accurately remember events, even when faced with such assertions.
10. “You’re always wrong!”
If you’re constantly told that you’re always wrong, it can make you question your judgment and decision-making abilities even though it really shouldn’t — no one is ever wrong 100% of the time. This is a classic gaslighting tactic designed to undermine your self-esteem and make you reliant on the person gaslighting you. Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and no one is “always wrong.”
11. “You’re just jealous.”
When someone attributes your concerns or disagreements to jealousy, they may be trying to pull your attention away from their own actions and discredit your feelings about them. This might make you feel guilty and question your motives, which is a common gaslighting technique. Remember, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and not let someone else define them for you.
12. “You have no sense of humor.”
If someone dismisses your objections to their hurtful jokes or comments by accusing you of lacking a sense of humor, they might be gaslighting you. This can subtly undermine your feelings and make you think, “Hang on, am I being too sensitive? Maybe it WAS just a joke!” Hang on a sec – humor should not be used as a cover for disrespect or maltreatment.
13. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
Ever notice that gaslighters only ever accuse you of “not thinking clearly” when your thoughts put their toxic behavior in the spotlight? Funny that! This tactic is designed to make you question your judgment and perception of reality. Trust in your mental acuity and remember that everyone has moments of uncertainty, but this doesn’t equate to unclear thinking.
14. “You’re too sensitive.”
If you’re frequently labeled as “too sensitive” when you express pain or discomfort, it could be a sign of gaslighting. The person is trying to invalidate your feelings by making you question your emotional reactions. Your sensitivity is a part of who you are, and it’s important to respect your feelings.
15. “You just don’t get me.”
If someone consistently insists that you’re misunderstanding them, they might be trying to shift the blame onto you and avoid responsibility for their words or actions. This can lead you to question your comprehension skills, a common gaslighting technique. It’s vital to remember that communication is a two-way street, and understanding relies on clear expression as well as active listening.
16. “You’re overthinking things.”
When someone persistently tells you that you’re overanalyzing or overthinking situations, they might be attempting to undermine your judgment. They want you to doubt your ability to reason and make decisions. Remember, analyzing people and situations is not a weakness, and it’s important to trust your thought process and intuition.
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