Just because you’re thinking about your ex doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together. There are plenty of reasons past romances keep finding their way into your head, but none of them have to do with any leftover feelings.
You liked the person you were when you were dating him.
Luckily for you, this has nothing to do with him. The common denominator here is you. You can always be that person again, whether it’s with a new man or on your own. Harnessing those qualities he brought out in you is the first step; replicating them is the second.
You were innocent.
The adrenaline you feel even thinking all the firsts you shared with him is only natural. These thoughts don’t find their way into your head because you miss your ex, but because you miss the innocence and newness. Getting older sometimes means losing the excitement that comes with doing things for the first time. That’s normal and has nothing to do with him.
You miss the friendship.
Losing a boyfriend could mean you lose the friend in the process. Maybe you don’t really miss him, but miss the friendship you had. You can still be friends and not expect anything more.
You miss the romance.
Romance is magical and makes you feel like you’re walking on cloud nine. It should come as no surprise that once a relationship is gone, it’s really the romance you want back, not the person.
You liked his personality.
This doesn’t mean you were meant to be together forever, though. This just means that you have a type, and he fits that type. There are others like that, but you’ll never find them if you spend all of your energy thinking of your past.
You love the way he made you feel.
You don’t love him — you just love the way it feels when someone adores you. Who doesn’t? Keep searching for that because it’s still out there, and thank him for letting you know that it’s possible for another person to make you feel so good.
You liked being in love.
But the only person you have ever been in love with was him, so that’s the same thing, right? No. This doesn’t mean he’s your soulmate. This just means that you’re capable of love and that you’ll find love with someone else and have this feeling again — you just need to close the door on your ex for good first.
That time in your life was happy.
When you think back on that time in your life, you smile. Maybe your family was around a lot, the music was better, you hung out with friends more often… you get the picture. Maybe it was a time when someone was alive that isn’t today. Either way, you have to ask yourself if it’s purely coincidence that your ex was around then and whether he’s truly the reason for your nostalgia.
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