Do you have a sign on your forehead telling guys they can take advantage of you? Maybe not, but you might be giving off signals that you’re ready to drop and roll yourself out in front of them like a doormat. If you relate to any of these 8 signs, it’s time to pick yourself up and demand some respect:
- You let the small issues slide. If you want a guy to treat you well, you shouldn’t only stick to upholding your big dealbreakers. The little things are just as important. If you’re always letting small issues and irritations slide instead of nipping them in the bud, what’s to stop them from becoming bigger problems? Being cool with how he doesn’t call when he says he will means he’ll push the boundaries and do more serious things at a later stage thinking he can get away with them, like standing you up or going AWOL. You teach people how to treat you.
- You go along with everything he wants. It starts small, like you agreeing to go to the restaurant he likes that you’re not into, and then there’ll be bigger ways in which you go along with him until you’re compromising yourself completely. Stop being the ‘yes’ girl or the ‘whatever you want’ girl who always lets him get his way. Relationships are supposed to be balanced, so speak up about what you want.
- You’re so nice, it’s sickening. In horror movies, pretty women tend to die early on, but in real life, it’s the nice girls. Too much of any good thing, even niceness, can be terrible. If you’re always so super nice that you sacrifice what you really think or feel, you give the impression that there’s nothing else going on behind your thick layer of sugar. People tend to see the nice girl as an easy target, someone who puts up with crap and doesn’t confront them about it.
- You’re quick to delete your priorities. Everyone has priorities in life and these should be respected. In fact, real men will rise to meet your priorities and work around them to make a relationship with you work. If you’re so quick to move yours around or delete them, such as by canceling lunch with the girls yet again when a guy wants to see you, you’re saying your life doesn’t matter as much as he does. When guys feel like your one and only priority, they can abuse the privilege.
- You don’t give him a challenge. There has to be some challenge or chase for the guy. If you make it too easy for him to score your attention and love, you not only zap the mystery but you make him think he can take you for granted. It makes it really easy for him not to value what he has in you and possibly even try to milk you for all the love you have to give because you’re conveniently there.
- You show too much interest too soon. When you don’t hold back on how amazing you think the guy you’re dating is, this can give him the impression that you have put him on a gold pedestal. If he’s ruling your heart and he knows it, he might try to take liberties. When he upsets you, such as by canceling your date for the third time in a row, he’ll try use charm on you so you can quickly get over your anger and he gets a free pass. Yup, he’s using your love against you.
- You lack confidence. If you lack self-assurance, this provides the perfect foundation for men to come in and treat you like a pushover because your lack of confidence prevents you from standing up for your beliefs and saying ‘no’ once in a while. You’re better than that — you just have to believe it.
- You’re a giver from the start. Guys who have lots of drama in their lives are attracted to women who seem like they’re eager to help them solve their problems. In other words, the woman who jumps right in and fixes things without being asked. He says he’s unemployed? You know of a great job for him and will try to pull some strings. He’s going through tough times financially? You’ll pay for dinner. Your eagerness to help him is enough to show him that he can depend on you. He won’t just take a finger, but a whole arm; not just your help, but all your resources. Set some boundaries or you’ll be left with nothing for yourself. Once you realize you matter, guys won’t be able to walk all over you.