8 Things A Guy Does When He’s Unsure About You

Men can be fickle creatures. For many of them, trying to commit to anything 100% isn’t easy because they’re always looking for the next best thing. Since you have no time for that BS, it’s best to know now the things guys do when they’re unsure about you so you can move on swiftly.

  1. He delays his texts. In a world where the majority of us are glued to our phones at all times, it’s hard to miss a text. Sure, you can ignore it, but it’s hard not to see it and at least subconsciously acknowledge it. If a guy is unsure of you, that’s exactly what he’ll do: ignore it. Well, at least for a little while, and far longer than any of your friends would dare to ignore a text. It’s not that he’s necessarily trying to give you the brush off, but he just isn’t sure what to do with you. Date you? Just have sex with you? Try to get you to agree to a threesome? Ghost you? Honestly, his thought process could go in any direction when he’s unsure about you.
  2. He cancels at the last minute. While there’s no denying that there’s relief when someone cancels plans at the last minute, if it’s a guy we’re into, it sucks. Sadly, this is what a guy who’s unsure of you will do. Why? Because either something “better” came up or he’s trying to keep his distance while he mulls over whether you’re worth his time. Granted, he doesn’t realize what he’s mulling over, because dudes, but that’s what he’s doing. Example: “New lady friend or Xbox for the 100th time with the guys?”
  3. He plays hot and cold. If a guy is unsure about you, it can definitely feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride. He can spend one weekend not getting enough of you, then just a few days later treating you like you’re a stranger. Then, just when you’re used to the stranger thing, he shows up and love bombs the eff out of you. When people are unsure of anything, whether it’s a person or something else, they tend to deal with it in extremes; there is no middle ground.
  4. He only listens to half of what you say. When people are unsure of us, they’re basically only half into us. What this means is that they only give half, take half, want half, need half, and listen half. Of course this doesn’t mean that what you’re saying is boring, but rather he spends 50 percent of his time with you spacing out and trying to figure out his next move in regards to his relationship with you. It’s not easy for men to multitask. Listening and spacing out is definitely considered multitasking.
  5. He tends to keep it more virtual. From texting to sexting to liking all your Instagram photos to sliding into your DMs, if a guy is unsure about you, then there’s a good chance you have more contact with him through your phone than face-to-face. It’s because he doesn’t want to commit to hanging out but also doesn’t want to let you go until he figures out what he wants from you or with you.
  6. He’s weird around your friends. For some people, having the guy they’re dating meet their friends is a big deal, not only because the guy is being brought into the inner circle but because you’re opening yourself up to your friends’ opinions. But if the guy is unsure of you, then he’s certainly unsure of how to act around your friends. He’ll just come off as weird, which will lead to getting none of your friends’ approval—which is for the best in the long run, to be honest.
  7. He won’t let you leave anything at his apartment. Gasp! Not even a toothbrush? Not even a spare tampon tucked behind a roll of toilet paper under the sink? Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. If he’s unsure about you, then he’s sure as hell not willing to let you have any place in his personal space. To do so would mean moving toward commitment and something for which he is clearly not ready (and may never be ready for).
  8. He hasn’t taken down his dating app profile. Naturally, he won’t tell you it’s still up; you’ll have to find out from a friend who sees it, of course. But no matter how you find out or what he tells you, if that dating profile is still up while he’s spending time with you, then he’s definitely, obviously, unsure of you. In fact, he has one foot out the door and is ready to bail when he thinks he’s found something “better.” Good riddance.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.