8 Times You’re Better Off Alone

Being on your own can be a little scary, especially when it feels like it might be permanent. You might be dying to be wrapped in the arms of a special someone, but sometimes you’re be better off living the single life.

  1. When you just got out of a relationship. You need time to mourn your former relationship and heal your heart from the damage of the ex. You shouldn’t be unloading your baggage on someone new. Give yourself the time to put yourself back together. When you’re truly ready to date again, you’ll know.
  2. When the bad times outweigh the good. If you’re having more bad times than good, then the relationship just isn’t working. When it’s good, it’s great, but when it’s bad, it’s miserable. Your relationship should bring you joy, not stress. Put this unhealthy cycle in the past and hold out for something better.
  3. When you don’t know what you want. Love isn’t made of uncertainty — when you feel it, you know. If you’re unsure about a man or confused about wanting a relationship at all, then take some time for yourself. The only way you’ll ever clear up your feelings on the dating scene is if you take a breather and spend some quality one on one time with yourself.
  4. When you’re in love with two people at the same time. That sounds pretty damn exhausting. If you’re in love with two different people at the same time, you need to face the fact that neither of them is enough for you. The right person will fill all of the voids in your life, so wait it out for Mr. One & Only.
  5. When you’re emotionally unavailable. Putting up walls to protect yourself from getting hurt will only prevent you from ever getting close to someone again. If you don’t know how to open up, then you’re not in the right place to invest in a relationship. Not letting your partner in will only cause them pain, so heal yourself before you try to be there for someone else.
  6. When you’re unhappy. If you’re depressed, you don’t have the energy to worry about another person, you need to make yourself your top priority. No matter how special he is, he’ll never single-handedly make you happy. You have to find happiness on your own before you can start thinking about bringing romance into your life.
  7. When you want to change him. You need to find a person that you can love for exactly who they are. If you have to change him, then he’s just not the right guy for you. Save yourself a lot of time and heartbreak by staying single until the right person comes along.
  8. When you don’t see a future. If you can’t see a future with him, then what’s the point? Stringing the relationship along will only make it hurt more in the long run. Do him and yourself a favor and spend this time as a free agent, because if you’re not in it for the long haul, then you’re both better off alone.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.