You’re an incredible woman with so much to offer the world and a potential partner. So why do you keep sabotaging yourself and putting your worst foot forward? If you want to ensure you stay single forever, doing these things will pretty much guarantee it. In other words, if you want to find love, avoid these behaviors altogether.
Compare him to other boyfriends
No guy wants to be sized up to your ex. You can’t walk into a new relationship with someone and start checking off all of the things that make them similar or different from someone you dated in the past. Not only is it unfair to the new person you’re getting to know, but it’s also a pretty ineffective way to determine if a relationship will work out. I mean, that past relationship didn’t work out for a reason, right? Let this new person show you who they are and enjoy getting to know someone completely new.
When you start seeing someone new and begin to learn things about them and their life, it’s important not to assume things about them based on what you think you know. Just because a guy you meet has lived with an ex-girlfriend that didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that he’s impossible to share a home with. Just because the man you’re talking to has never been in a long-term relationship before doesn’t mean he’s scared of commitment. Assumptions can lead to accusations, which can lead to arguments, which could end your relationship before it even has a chance to thrive. Just learn about him with an open mind. Let him show you who he really is.
Shapeshift for different relationships
Nothing stable is built on dishonesty and if you’re just telling a guy what he wants to hear and compromising what makes you you, that is a surefire way to ruin a relationship. You don’t have to like everything the guy you’re seeing likes. You don’t have to agree on all of the same issues. If you’re with someone who makes you feel like you need to change, that is not the relationship for you. The right guy will appreciate everything about you and never make you feel like you have to transform yourself into someone else.
Carry bitterness from past relationships
You might still feel a little burnt from your past relationships and your feelings are completely valid. However, you need to leave those feelings in the past where they belong. Don’t bring any of that anger or bitterness into your next relationship. Not only is it unfair to the new person you’re getting to know, but it’s also unfair to yourself. If you let the past jade you to the point where you can’t see a good person standing in front of you, you will never be able to move on and find true happiness with someone else. As hard as it is, let it go. Do it for yourself.
Judge his past
We all have a past, but the worst thing that we can do for ourselves and others is let the past define us. If you have certain things that you won’t make exceptions on, that’s fine, stick to your standards Just don’t let someone’s past relationships or failure determine, right off the bat, how you feel about them. Again, this could be clouding your vision and keeping you from getting to know a wonderful person.
If you’ve been hurt or lied to in the past by a partner, this can be one of the hardest things to let go of when moving on to a new relationship. As difficult as it is to not bring that past trauma into your present, allow your new partner to show you how trustworthy he is and don’t immediately assume that he will hurt you like someone else may have. You have to trust your partner and know that when they tell you that they care about you, that means that they would never do anything to hurt you. Trust that and rest easy. Don’t let some jerk from the past ruin what you could have.
Silence your own opinion
At the beginning of a relationship, when you really want someone to like you, it can be a natural instinct to agree with everything they say. You might want to keep your mouth shut on certain topics because you may differ in opinions with the person and you may fear that if you offer another idea, he may not like you anymore. First of all, if that is the case, he is not someone you should want to be with anyway. The right guy for you will value your opinions and will want you to speak your mind. Keeping quiet about things you’re passionate about may make a guy wary of you. No one genuine wants to be with someone who hides their feelings and doesn’t speak their mind.
Give up your dreams
Long-term relationships require compromise, that’s true, but there is a definite line that can’t be crossed. If you’re with someone who expects you to give up the things that you love and what you want in life to support the things that they want, that is a relationship that isn’t going to work out. If you choose to make yourself small so that he can feel big, you will feel disappointed in yourself for giving up on your goals but, you’ll also eventually resent him for it. It will cause tension in your relationship and happiness will be forced. Who wants to live like that? The right guy for you will embrace the things that you’re passionate about. He’ll want you to pursue your dreams because if he truly loves you, he’ll want you to be happy.
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