20 Signs He’s Into You But Too Scared To Make A Move

Have you ever wanted to ask a guy out, but didn’t because you were too afraid of being turned down? Guess what — men fear rejection too, and sometimes they’d rather you make the first move to save them the potential embarrassment. So how do you tell if he’s intimidated or just not interested? If he’s doing any of these things, take them as signs he’s into you and wants to date you.

  1. You catch him staring at you, like, all the time. This is one of the biggest signs he’s into you. If he’s longing for you, then he’s looking at you. Confident guys make direct eye contact, but shy guys will look away when you catch sight of their gaze. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, it just means he’s not sure you like him.
  2. He jokes about being your boyfriend. If he’s joked light-heartedly about the idea of the two of you dating, then he’s testing the waters. He’s not confident you’d say yes to a date; he’s worried you’d find the idea absurd, so he puts the concept of a date out there and surveys your reaction.
  3. He’s judgmental about the men you date. He’s not just being a protective friend — he’s jealous. That’s why he’s nitpicking every attribute of the other men in your life. His end goal is to show you just how wrong they are for you, so you’ll finally realize how right he is. Of all the signs he likes you, this is one of the most glaringly obvious.
  4. He gets nervous and acts like a bumbling idiot around you. Does he twiddle his thumbs or constantly shake his foot? Does he stumble for the right words? Well, that’s probably because an amazing woman like you makes him nervous and unfortunately, those nerves are keeping him from asking you out.
  5. He thinks you’re out of his league. If he’s ever mentioned the fact that you’re out of his league, he wants to know your opinion on that. His low self-esteem might be preventing him from telling you how he really feels. If he thinks you’re too good for him, then he feels the rejection is inevitable unless you tell him otherwise.
  6. He’s always there. Always. He’s at the same bar as you on Friday night or the same coffee shop in the morning. It’s not funny meeting him there, because it’s no coincidence. He sits close to you and you always sort of notice each other. Every day he puts himself in close proximity, he just never plucks up the courage to make a move. Guys don’t generally drop everything to be by a random woman’s side. This is one of the biggest signs he’s into you.
  7. He goes out of his way for you. If you often think about what a nice guy he is, start thinking about how nice he is. Does he run errands or do thoughtful things that he really doesn’t need to just because it makes your life easier? There’s a difference between just being a gentleman and working to impress a lady.
  8. He gets all up in your personal space. Body language is everything. Does he sit close to you? Do your knees accidentally touch beneath the table? Does he lean in when he’s talking to you? Instead of telling you how he feels out loud, he’s telling you with his body, so pick up on his movements.
  9. He bigs himself up, hoping you’ll take notice. When he’s not hanging on your every word, he’s talking himself up. What he’s actually doing is being his own wingman. He’s trying to prove to you that he’s a worthy choice, impressing you is his ultimate goal.
  10. He acts differently around you than he does his friends/other women. This is because in his eyes, you’re not just any old person. You’re someone he would potentially like to date and be in a relationship with, so he’s always trying to put his best foot forward and impress you if he possibly can. He might be loud, brash, or kinda nuts around his guy pals, but when he’s with you, you see a whole other side to him.

More signs he’s into you that you shouldn’t ignore

  1. He’s super jealous of the other people you spend time with. One of the most obvious signs he’s into you is when he can’t stand the idea that anyone else might be too (or that you might like someone that’s not him). You might notice he gets moody whenever you mention hanging with someone else or he acts suspicious of your friends, guys and girls. This can be a bit scary if taken too far, but if it’s generally pretty innocuous, it’s likely because he’s nuts about you.
  2. He’s your biggest cheerleader. No matter how nuts or outlandish your dreams are, this guy is always right there cheering you on and reminding you that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. It’s clear he’s your biggest fan and wants you to know it, and it’s actually really sweet to have someone who believes in you so unconditionally.
  3. He’s always complimenting you. This is “signs he’s into you 101” but it’s still worth mentioning. Guys don’t go around complimenting women for the fun of it, so if he’s always saying nice things to and about you, you can pretty much bet it’s because he has romantic feelings for you. He wants to boost your ego and let you know how great he thinks you are.
  4. He remembers pretty much everything you say. Getting a guy to not only pay attention to the things you say but absorb them and commit them to memory can be like pulling teeth. That’s why it’s so meaningful when they actually pay attention to you when you speak and even recall some of the things you said down the line. For instance, maybe one day you mentioned that you love these particular truffles from a chocolate shop on the other side of town. If he suddenly shows up with them a couple of months later, take this as another one of those signs he’s into you. Like, really into you.
  5. You have his full attention when you’re together. Whenever we hang out with friends or even established partners, it’s sad to admit that we probably spend a fair bit of time scrolling through our phones. We’re all obsessed with our devices and it takes away our valuable time with the very real people in our lives. If he keeps his phone tucked away when he’s with you — or, better yet, he “forgets” it at home, it’s because he wants to offer you his undivided attention.
  6. He never talks about dating other women. If you were only a friend, he’d have no trouble talking to you about the other girls he’s into/actively dating. If that’s not happening, it’s because he’s not dating other women and because he doesn’t want you to think he’s not single and available if you’re interested. Of all the signs he’s into you, this one is kinda the most precious, don’t you think?
  7. His friends tell you he’s into you. In theory, his friends shouldn’t rat him out like this, but chances are they’re telling you because he’s got it bad and they know he won’t speak up for himself. They’re not likely to be lying about it, either, so if they’re telling you that he’s into you, you should definitely believe them.
  8. He laughs at all your jokes even when they’re not funny. Not that you don’t have an amazing sense of humor or anything, because you totally do. However, not all of your weird jokes are a total hit and he still thinks they are. His laughter doesn’t seem forced or faked, though. On the contrary, he legitimately seems tickled by everything you say.
  9. He can’t keep the smile off his face when he’s around you. He grins like a Cheshire cat whenever you’re together. The biggest signs a guy is into you can be determined by simply paying attention to their body language, and a guy having a massive grin on his face literally every second you’re together can only be a good thing.
  10. He’s super protective of you.  He knows you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to do it too. He gets very defensive if he doesn’t believe you’re being treated right and he vows to take revenge against anyone who hurts you. Why does he care so much? Because he’s into you, duh.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.