9 Signs You’re Nagging Your Partner And It’s Killing Your Relationship

Women are usually about 10 steps ahead of men. Because of this, it seems to be a fairly common feminine trait to nag. After all, we see what needs doing and we’re eager for it to be done, so we want our partners to be on the same page. But are you taking it too far? Here are some signs you’re nagging your partner a bit too much and need to take a step back if you don’t want to ruin your relationship.

  1. You Glorify Their Potential Rather Than Loving Them Presently. It’s easy to see the great potential of the people we love, but it’s important that we recognize if it’s only the potential that we love because that’s a serious problem. If your main focus is on how wonderful your partner could be instead of how wonderful they are being, it’s a tell-tale sign that you’re likely nagging them as well as setting them up for failure.
  2. Their Responses Are Combative or Defensive. Expressing your needs to your partner should be approached with kindness and greeted with understanding. If your partner often comes back at you aggressively, it could mean two things: either you’re expressing your expectations in a nagging or demanding manner or your partner is simply unable to meet them.
  3. They Spend Time Away from You to “Relax.” We want our partners to bring us peace. If your partner needs space from you in order to find that peace, it’s likely that they’re feeling smothered and your nagging is stressing them out. Try to spend more time enjoying each other’s presence, practicing relaxing activities, and keeping the peace.
  4. You Feel Like a Broken Record. If your conversations often start with “I’ve told you a million times” or “We’ve already talked about this,” then it’s apparent that whatever approach you’ve been using to address an issue has not been effective or well-received. Clearly, this shows that you aren’t conveying your needs constructively. It doesn’t feel good to have to nag repetitiously without being heard – and your partner doesn’t like hearing it, either.
  5. Your Texts Often Look Like Novels – and Not Pretty Ones. If all or most of your text messages feel more like argumentative essays than text messages, you’re spending too much energy nagging.
  6. One or Both of You Feel Like Nothing Is Ever Good Enough. Once we start hyper-focusing on the negatives, it becomes easier to see the failures of our partners and overlook their successes. This works both ways. If your partner is constantly being reminded of where they don’t measure up, it becomes easier for them to give up and believe that they’ll always be failing you. This has a lot to do with the law of attraction. Try shifting your focus. It’ll shift theirs too.
  7. Being in Their Presence Stresses You Out or Makes You Angry. We are creatures of habit. If you’re so used to nagging your partner on the regular, you’ll eventually start feeling irritable around them simply by association. This idea plays with the law of attraction as well. If you’re feeling annoyed, your partner will undoubtedly annoy you.
  8. Being in Your Presence Makes Them Feel Drained. On the flip side, your partner may feel worn out just from being around you, solely because they’ve become so used to your nagging being a constant. And that doesn’t feel good, either.
  9. You Argue More Than You Used To. While it is normal for arguments to increase in how often they occur as a relationship progresses, it’s so important to recognize when it’s getting out of hand and ultimately leading to your relationship’s demise. To turn things around, analyze where the nagging is coming from and why it’s becoming a habit. We can shift our thinking and change our habits if they’re making us unhappy. It’s also crucial to recognize, though, that there is the chance that your partner functions in a way that makes you unhappy. Letting go of a relationship that doesn’t best serve you is okay too.
I am a 29 year old writer from Milwaukee, WI. Currently living a life of freedom in Tucson, AZ. Virgo, wine-drinker, lover of bad dancing. Insanity and getting into trouble are my fortes. Writing is my medium.