9 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your New Relationship Without Even Realizing It

You’ve finally found a good guy you have a real connection with, and he seems to like you just as much as you do him. That’s great, but it doesn’t mean you should lose your head over him. In fact, if you’re doing any of the following, you may just be sabotaging your relationship before it really has a chance to get off the ground:

You’re a little bit overly excited and intense.

We can all relate to the excitement of a new relationship, but when you get too excited and let yourself get really intense, well, it doesn’t always come off well. Guys like a little bit of a chase, and will keep their interest longer if you’re a little mysterious, so don’t be too available and eager.

It just started and you’re already paranoid it’s ending.

When your relationship is just starting out, the last thing you should be thinking about is how quickly it could end. You’re so happy and got so lucky that you stress over the idea of everything falling apart as quickly as it started, and while that’s natural, it’s totally counterproductive and can end up creating problems that aren’t actually there.

You don’t trust his goodness — you’re sure he’s a jerk in disguise.

In the same way you’re worried about things ending abruptly, you’re also kind of worried he might do a 180 and turn into a jerk. Everything is going so well that it seems almost too good to be true, and the ghosts of players past start to make you extra paranoid. While this alone doesn’t make you crazy, overanalyzing his actions and getting mad over nothing is definitely going to screw you over. If he hasn’t given you a reason not to trust him, then don’t invent one.

You get invested way too quickly.

It’s one thing to be a smitten with your new boyfriend, but falling head over heels before you even really know him comes off as a bit intense, to say the least. If you’re falling way too fast, catch yourself and make sure to slow it down. Keep yourself a healthy amount of guarded and take your time to enjoy each stage of the relationship.

You forget that you’re an independent woman.

Most of us have gone temporarily insane and forgot the need for our own space in a relationship start up. Yes, he’s cute and it’s all super fun, but don’t turn into the girl who ditches her own life to be totally available when her guy calls. That just isn’t who you are, and you’ll kick yourself for that later.

You get advice about everything he says. 

If you’re constantly driving your girlfriends crazy because you can’t stop questioning everything he says or does, you need to give yourself a shake. Overthinking everything will only end in disaster, and you’ll create problems that were never there in the first place. Let go, relax, and let things flow naturally.

You become a total cyberstalking sleuth.

Mildly creeping someone new on social media is pretty standard behavior, but when you can recite the date he went to Florida four years ago, there’s a problem. If he’s introducing you to his friends and you already know who they are, where they work, and their dating history, there’s an even bigger problem. Keep the cyber creeping to a minimum and get to know him, and his friends, in person.

You try too hard to be perfect.

We all put the best version of ourselves on display when we meet someone we like, but pretending to be someone you’re not is completely unsustainable. If you’re changing all your interests to match his and agree with everything he says, you’re going way too far. After all, he fell for you for a reason, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

You check your phone way too often.

If you can’t peel yourself away from your phone because you’re waiting for him to message you, you’re being too intense. While it can be stressful wondering when you might hear from him again, any guy worth your time will be in touch.

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