How A Narcissist Acts When Things Don’t Go Their Way

Narcissists are all about keeping the people around them under their control in order to manipulate and use them to get what they want. However, when the people in their lives discover what’s really going on and put a stop to it, that’s when all hell breaks loose. Here are some things that are likely to happen when things don’t go a narcissist’s way all of a sudden.

1. They shift the blame to everyone else

When things don’t go the way a narcissist wants, don’t expect them to take responsibility for their part in the outcome. Instead, they’re quick to shift blame onto other people, often twisting the narrative to paint themselves as the victim, irrespective of the reality of the situation.

2. They manipulate people

Narcissists are often skilled manipulators. If something doesn’t go as planned, they may attempt to exploit people to bend the situation in their favor. This could involve emotional coercion, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or even playing the victim to elicit sympathy. When people don’t fall for it, they absolutely lose it.

3. They have sharp outbursts of anger

Narcissists might react with disproportionate anger when things don’t go their way. This is because they have a deep-seated need for control, and any disruption to their plans can trigger intense emotional reactions. These outbursts can be incredibly volatile and unsettling, and they might even be dangerous.

4. They give the silent treatment

Alternatively, a narcissist may resort to giving the silent treatment as a form of punishment when things don’t go their way. They use this passive-aggressive tactic to express their dissatisfaction and to manipulate people’s emotions, hoping to provoke guilt or anxiety.

5. They project their feelings onto other people

Narcissists often project their own negative qualities onto other people when things don’t go as planned. For example, if they’re feeling insecure or inadequate, they may accuse other people of being jealous or uncooperative. They have a severe lack of self-awareness and an extreme unwillingness to self-reflect, leading them to become defensive and look outside of themselves.

6. They launch smear campaigns

In extreme cases, if a narcissist feels threatened or slighted, they might start a smear campaign against those they believe have wronged them. This involves spreading false rumors or exaggerating truths to discredit the other person and regain a sense of superiority. If they can turn everyone against this person, the narcissist will again feel like they’ve won.

7. They escalate their demands

If a narcissist’s initial demands or expectations aren’t met, they might respond by making even more unreasonable demands. This is an attempt to reassert control and dominance over the situation or the people involved. They’ll continue to get more and more outlandish with what they want, hoping to wear the person down.

8. They deny and distort reality

When faced with a situation that doesn’t align with their self-image or expectations, narcissists often deny or completely twist the truth. They may create their own version of events that absolves them of any responsibility or portrays them in a more favorable light.

9. They become hypercritical

When things aren’t going their way, narcissists tend to nitpick other people as a means to assert their superiority and divert attention from their own shortcomings. They often criticize or find fault in other people’s actions, even when it’s uncalled for. This is a way of eroding people’s self-confidence so the person is more vulnerable to their manipulation.

10. They use guilt-tripping

Making people feel bad for standing up for themselves or putting their own needs first is usually met by a guilt-trip from a narcissist. By making other people feel guilty, they aim to control their behavior and steer situations back in their favor.

11. They resort to intimidation

Some narcissists make threats or try to intimidate people when they don’t get their way. This could be their attempt to regain control over the situation and ensure their needs and desires are prioritized. This can be really scary for other people, especially if the narcissist has a history of violence.

12. They display jealousy

Narcissists may express a feeling of envy when they perceive someone else as being more successful or getting more attention than they are. This is a way for them to redirect the focus onto themselves and validate their sense of self-importance.

13. They show contempt

In situations where they feel slighted or their ego is threatened, narcissists may show contempt for other people as a way to reassert their perceived superiority and dismiss the other person’s worth or value.

14. They become overly defensive

Narcissists often react defensively when things don’t go as planned. Any perceived criticism or challenge can be met with an immediate defensive response, as they try to protect their inflated self-image. Don’t expect them to cop to any bad behavior — they reflect it.

15. They withdraw or isolate themselves

In some cases, when things don’t go their way, narcissists may withdraw or isolate themselves as a form of silent protest or to elicit attention and concern from others. They use this as a way of getting attention or pity from other people, which they hope to be able to use to their advantage.

16. They dismiss other people’s concerns

Narcissists tend to dismiss people’s feelings or issues, particularly when they’re not in line with their own views or desires. They usually try to minimize or trivialize what other people are going through, further emphasizing their self-centeredness.

17. They flaunt their successes

When things go wrong, narcissists tend to overemphasize or brag about their past achievements to divert attention from the current issue. This serves to remind people of their superiority and to validate their self-worth.

18. They play the martyr

Sometimes, narcissists play the martyr when things don’t go their way, painting themselves as the selfless hero who is constantly wronged despite their sacrifices. This tactic can be used to gain sympathy and attention.