Opinion: Your Boyfriend Needs To Have Female Friends

It can be unsettling when your guy has a female friend who looks like Angelina Jolie’s younger sister, but honestly, I’m not really all that bothered about it. I’m confident in my relationship with my boyfriend and frankly, I think it’s healthy for guys to have female friends. Here’s why:

  1. He’ll know how to talk to women. If he has female friends that enjoy chatting and hanging with him, that shows that he’s able to relate to women. Women have a stronger radar to detect arrogance and jerk behaviour, so if he gets their vote there’s got to be something awesome about him (and there obviously is since I’m with him).
  2. He’ll be able to deal with tears. Chances are he’s seen his female friends cry, as in, do the big ugly cry. If they feel comfortable to be real with him and show him this vulnerable side, it’s because he knows how to deal with it without freaking out or turning into a jerk. That’s a huge bonus because it makes for a supportive boyfriend who’ll rub my back and hug me when I break down, not drop and roll out of the room.
  3. He’ll respect women. A guy who can relate to women and enjoys their company will also respect them more — and women in general. There’s nothing worse than a dude who’s an undercover misogynist, and a guy with female friends is less likely to be one. That’s definitely the case with my guy.
  4. He’ll have someone to talk to. The relationship with his female friends works the other way too. He can turn to them and confide in them, getting great advice from the female perspective, which is really helpful when he’s in a relationship bind. They kinda teach him a lot of basic woman stuff, which means he already knows what’s up in our relationship. It’s such a relief.
  5. He’ll be mature enough to see men and women can just be friends. It’s troubling if a guy says men and women can’t be platonic. It makes me think he’s going to drop his pants for any woman he gets to know, or be one of those arrogant jerks who thinks every single woman he meets wants him. My boyfriend can see that there’s the possibility for pure friendship with the opposite sex, and it makes me feel more secure in our relationship because he’s able to carry a conversation with another woman without seeing her as a romantic option.
  6. Women will tell him when he’s being a jackass. His female buddies are more likely to tell him straight up when he’s being a loser without beating around the bush, and sometimes a guy needs to hear that. I have no problem telling him on the rare occasion it happens either, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone in that.
  7. They’ll tell him when his clothes don’t match. It’s not just general behavior that female friends will comment on, but also his clothes. No, he can’t on that date with me wearing a tracksuit or a bright pink shirt that makes him look like a flamingo on meth.
  8. He’ll be comfortable in his own skin. Being around men all the time can be exhausting for guys. They always have to be on guard and try to be tough. If they can just chill out with female friends and let their real selves shine through, this is awesome because it’s sure to rub off in their romantic relationships. I don’t know if my boyfriend was naturally pretty confident in embracing his softer side or if his female friends helped, but it’s a relief either way.
  9. He’ll have more insight on what women want. Thanks to all the sessions of chatter with their best girlfriends, guys who have female friends are more likely to know what women want because they’ve heard their horrible dating stories. He’s also sure to learn what he should never do if he’s trying to impress women. My boyfriend came to our relationship prepared, and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had because of it.
  10. It’ll be refreshing to know he bases relationships on more than just looks. Back to the friend who looks like Angelina’s little sister. If he can have platonic friendships with women, no matter how hot they are, this is a good sign. I see it as him wanting more out of a relationship. He’s not just looking for someone hot; he wants a real connection. That’s not to say my boyfriend doesn’t find me attractive, just that he bases that attraction on more than just physical qualities.
  11. He’ll see the good, bad and ugly. If he has close female friends, he’s probably seen it all: the cellulite, the drama, the fights, the rants. Not only has he learned when to offer support and when to GTFO of the room, but he accepts it all and still finds beauty in his female friendships, which is quite sweet. It kind of warms my heart just thinking about it.
  12. He’ll accept your male friends. Because my boyfriend has female friends and I’m chill with it, he returns the sentiment. He’s not going to get all possessive and jealous about the other men in my life because he knows firsthand how friendships with members of the opposite sex can be great, and he won’t see those guys as threats. This is awesome because it makes for a much happier, peaceful relationship. Besides, friendships are important and should never be tossed aside.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.