A Guy Shares How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With Him

There’s nothing worse than having romantic feelings for someone and knowing that they only see you as a friend. The good news is that with guys, their perceptions of you can be changed pretty easily and it’s possible for them to look at you in a different light if you play your cards right. Here are a few tips for getting out of the friend zone with him.

  1. Don’t be his confidant. You can’t be the one he goes to when he wants to talk about other women. You may be an important part of his life in that role, but it’s also why you’re in the friend zone. Those women almost never turn into girlfriends. Unless you’re clever enough to subtly give him advice that steers him away from other women and toward you, this isn’t the way to change your relationship.
  2. Get away from the group. If you’re always hanging out with a guy in a group setting, it’ll be difficult to get out of the friend zone. Doing so usually requires spending one-on-one time with him. It doesn’t have to be super intimate or replicate a date if you’re still trying to transition your way into romantic territory, but you have to be able to show him that you two click and get along well when it’s just the two of you.
  3. Flirt, don’t tease. There is a fine line between flirting and teasing. Siblings and friends tease while people who are more than friends flirt. You don’t want to be too obvious that you’re taking a more flirtatious tone with a guy because it might surprise him and throw him off, but over time you should start to tease him less and start flirting with him more.
  4. Initiate physical contact. Again, you don’t want to go overboard with this or make it seem like you’re trying too hard to initiate physical contact, but the touch barrier has to be broken at some point. Fortunately, this is also a good way to step up your flirting. Look for good excuses to rub his back or shoulders or maybe start a hug that you hold a second or two longer than someone who’s just a friend would. Without that kind of physical contact, it can be tough to create a spark and show him that you’re interested in being more than friends.
  5. Date other people. To some extent, you have to accept being in the friend zone and move on. This means being open to dating other people, even if you’re hung up on a guy who’s just your pal for now. Doing so will give him a chance to miss you and perhaps even feel a little jealous. If you can date someone else while still having feelings for your friend, you’ll know that you need to get out of the friend zone.
  6. State your case. One way or another, you need to let a guy know that you would make a great girlfriend. Typically, this should be done in a subtle way. Mention previous relationships where you were a great girlfriend to an ex. You can also create hypothetical situations by saying things like, “If I had a boyfriend…” Without being obvious, just explain why you would make the perfect girlfriend to him or anyone else. This might get him thinking about being more than just friends with you.
  7. Grab his attention. Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to grab a guy’s attention. However, if you’re in the friend zone, you have to grab his attention with the way you look. He most likely already enjoys spending time with you so you have to get his attention in another way. Make an effort to catch his eye with the way you look. It will be hard to get out of the friend zone with a guy if he’s not physically attracted to you. Like it or not, sex will be a factor in changing the course of your relationship. That means you have to make him see you as a sexual being and not just his platonic friend.
  8. Tell him how you feel. Ultimately, you might just have to lay all of your cards on the table and tell him how you feel. Guys don’t always pick up on signs that you want to be more than friends. Also, a lot of us are hesitant to make the first move with someone who’s been in the friend zone for a while. If you can’t get his attention in other ways, just tell him that you’d like to try being more than friends. Yes, it’s a risk and it’ll get crazy awkward if he doesn’t feel the same, but you might be surprised that he’s willing to give it a try. If not, at least you tried everything and can have no regrets.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.