Are You Afraid Of Falling In Love? You’re Not The Only One

Is love something you avoid at all costs? Does the thought of opening up scare you? Don’t let it worry you too much. Many women are afraid of falling in love. That sweet emotion that we all secretly crave isn’t always easy to deal with, after all. It’s confusing, complicated and downright terrifying sometimes. You actually have quite a few valid reasons to be afraid. Just remember that the right person will help you conquer those fears. I know it sounds corny, but it’s true. For now, accept that your fears are normal. My guess is you can identify with at least a few of these common fears about love.

  1. You don’t want to lose your independence. Love means sharing your life with someone else. You’re an independent woman. You don’t want to give up your job, hobbies, and friends. You’re not really sure anyone’s worth that. You worry that coupling up with someone else would turn you into a “we” instead of an “I,” but it doesn’t have to be that way.
  2. You’ve already had your heart broken. You gave love and chance and it bit you in the ass – or in the heart, in this case. Who would really want to love again after going through that much pain? It’s like the emotional equivalent of birthing triplets. You’re afraid of falling in love because last time, it didn’t work out all that well.
  3. You hate feeling vulnerable. Women are supposed to just be open books. It doesn’t always work that way. Feeling vulnerable is terrifying. All that sharing of feelings and hoping the person you love doesn’t judge you is worse than trying to kill a massive spider in your car during rush hour.
  4. You’d rather keep your past to yourself. We all have things in our pasts we’d rather not talk about. Love means opening up and your past might come to the surface. You’d rather spend your life locked in your room living vicariously through Netflix than let that happen.
  5. You don’t love yourself. How could someone possibly love you? You think about yourself and don’t find anything special. It’s far too scary to love someone else until you learn to love yourself first. Even if you’re afraid of love, it’s still worth learning to love yourself just so you’re happier.
  6. You’re sure you’ll end up getting hurt. You’ve seen what happened to your best friend after she fell in love and got dumped, twice. She was devastated. You can’t imagine letting yourself go through that. You’d rather just avoid love altogether.
  7. You don’t want to compromise. You don’t want to take shorter showers or watch movies you hate. You’re happy with your life the way it is. You don’t want to compromise just to make sure someone else is happy. If you do that, you couldn’t possibly be happy anymore, right?
  8. You love the single life. It’s nice being able to go out with your friends whenever you want. You don’t have to ask anyone’s permission to do anything. Being single is a blessing, and love would just ruin that.
  9. You’ve seen how often love fails. You’ve watched friends, family, and celebrity couples split all the time. They claimed they were in love, but why did it fail? You’re afraid the moment you fall in love, it’ll all be over for you too. It’s just not worth the risk.
  10. It takes too much work. Love isn’t quite like the movies. It actually takes work. You’re going to fight, have to compromise and focus on the other’s needs. You’re way too busy with your own life to deal with that much work right now.
  11. You’re terrified of being stuck. How do you know when someone’s the “right one”? What if you get into a relationship and then you’re stuck? What if love means you stay stuck in the same city, with the same job and the same routine? No, thank you. You’ll keep your options open and let love pass you by.
  12. You’re not ready to change your lifestyle. You enjoy spending $200 every weekend on drinks and another $200 on spa visits. You love staying up all night and sleeping all day. Love’s just going to ruin your lifestyle. You’re not ready to change, not yet. You’re afraid of falling in love because the carefully constructed life you built might need to change. You don’t realize it might be for the better.
  13. You don’t want to lose your friends and family. You’ve seen it happen. Close friends disappear when they fall in love. You don’t want that happening to you. You love your friends and family. You’re not about to let romance get in the way of relationships you already have.

Whether they’re rational fears or not, we’ve all had at least one of these at some point. Falling in love is scary, but it’s actually worth it. It’s just like any other fear. Once you face it, it’s not nearly as bad as you thought.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.