Are You A Dream Girl Or Worst Nightmare? Here’s How To Tell

In our heads, we all assume that any guy would be lucky to have us. Most of the time it’s true, but sometimes we’re showing some massive red flags that we’re completely blind to. Here are some nightmare girl signs you may be missing and some dream girl ways to make it up.

  1. You’re a nightmare if you keep asking to take selfies with him. Guys are more in the moment. They don’t always want to stop in front of a landmark for a photo with you. Yes, it’s important to keep these memories alive, but if you ask for more than one, you’re not being cute. Instead, you’re making it seem like you’re only outside for the sake of your Instagram story.
  2. You’re a dream if you believe in technology breaks. Speaking of, it’s nice to ditch the phone for a second and actually talk to your boyfriend. Yes, it’s bound to come out of your pocket eventually, but if he’s telling you an important story and you’re always more interested in your group chat, it’ll make him feel truly unimportant.
  3. You’re a nightmare if you immediately assume something’s his fault. Can guys be flighty? Of course they can, but they’re also human and they usually don’t “keep score” the way women sometimes do. If you have a checklist in your head of ways he’s wronged you, it’s almost like you’re mentally prepping for a big fight. Does he have a bad habit? Then talk to him about it. If you think he caused an issue, let him tell his side of the story first. You’d respect the same courtesy if the shoe was on the other foot.
  4. You’re a dream when you recognize a fight is pointless. When you’re with your partner for some time, it’s really easy to get heated about the stupidest things. Great girlfriends realize when “you didn’t take the dog out in time” could turn into a two-hour fight about his mother and they try to shut it down before it gets to be too much. Nightmare girlfriends let the fight ride until they get the apology they assume they deserve, even if that takes weeks.
  5. You’re a nightmare if you don’t admit your own mistakes. We all make them. Even when we try not to, faults still appear. It’s way sexier to come to terms with them than pretend they don’t exist, and your guy will be really thankful that you’re self-aware enough to laugh off the tiny ones.
  6. You’re a dream when you don’t immediately challenge every girl in his life. There’s a good chance he didn’t hire that hot new receptionist, so getting upset about her showing up to the scene is pointless. By not seeing every other woman as a challenge, you’re showing that you trust him. On the other hand, if you have enough reason to worry, maybe this relationship isn’t the best match for you anyway.
  7. You’re a nightmare when you ask him to choose between you and family. Unless his family is downright toxic (and he’s aware of this himself), it’s just cruel to try and separate him from the people who’ve loved him first. Sometimes, his chemistry with his family may end up being a turn-off. But if you get heated that he’d choose a family birthday party overseeing a movie with you, you’re making things really unfair for him.
  8. You’re a dream when you don’t talk him down. Shooting down a big idea he has will make him feel like you don’t believe in him. It may be something outlandish—maybe he wants to own a business without experience or dreams of flipping houses for some extra cash. A great girlfriend will help him learn more before telling him how ridiculous he sounds.
  9. You’re a nightmare if you don’t look through his perspective. He should be doing the same for you, but if you’re constantly just acting based on your point of view, you’re overpowering the relationship. Both of you should be able to step into each other’s shoes on occasion and see how the situation would read if it was the other way around.
  10. You’re a dream if you keep your own hobbies. Just because he’s into football doesn’t mean you have to be into football. Just because he likes to run every day after work doesn’t mean you need to tag along. Guys don’t like it when their girlfriends morph into their shadows. There’s a reason he started dating you, and it was because of your kickass personality. Changing things up to fit some sort of “girlfriend role” will just make you lose that sparkling identity he’s grown to love.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.