What You Should Know About Dating A Girl Who’s Been Hurt One Too Many Times

What You Should Know About Dating A Girl Who’s Been Hurt One Too Many Times ©iStock/NKS_Imagery

We’ve all suffered from at least one bad breakup, and probably many more — that type of pain is a part of life and relationships. However, getting hurt one too many times can destroy your desire for a relationship. Dating after multiple men have screwed you over isn’t any fun. In fact, it can be a real downer. It takes a special guy to overcome that, and he should probably be prepared for what he’ll be dealing with, at least at first.

  1. We wait to say, “I love you.” We don’t want to hear those three little words until we know you mean them. We’re tired of being disappointed. It hurts way more to get dumped by someone who claims they love you, which is why we’ll put off the phrase for as long as possible.
  2. We worry about getting cheating on. It doesn’t matter how loyal you are. Even if you’ve never given us any reason to be suspicious of you, we’re still going to wonder if you’re cheating on us. It’s hard to fully trust after getting screwed over so many times in the past.
  3. We have a hard time opening up. We don’t want to tell you our deepest, darkest secrets right away because it’ll make us even more attached to you. We try to put up as many walls as possible, because our hearts can’t get broken if we don’t open ourselves up to love.
  4. We’re pessimistic. Even if everything is going well, we’ll think of a dozen different things that could end the relationship. It’s hard for us to be happy in the moment, because we haven’t completely gotten over the pain of what has happened to us in the past. We know most good things come to an end, and we don’t want to get our hopes up.
  5. We don’t want you too involved in our life. The closer you are to our friends and family, the harder the breakup would be. We don’t want to make things any harder on ourselves, so we won’t introduce you to our loved ones until we’re completely serious about you.
  6. We want to take things slow. It’s going to take us a while to agree to move in together. It might even take us a while to agree to have sex. We don’t want to rush into things and end up making a huge mistake. We’d prefer to take things slow, so we can really get to know you and judge your character.
  7. We look for a reason to run. Sometimes, we sabotage our own chances at love. Instead of ignoring red flags like some women do, we create red flags. The longer we’re together, the harder the breakup will be, which is why we try to run as soon as possible to save ourselves the trouble.
  8. We prefer casual sex. Some of us prefer one-night stands to actual relationships. That way, there’s no chance for us to get hurt. If we never get to know you, then we can never get attached to you.
  9. We’ll question your intentions. When a guy is nice to us, we’ll wonder what his ulterior motives are. Is he trying to get into our pants? Is he trying to find a FWB? We’ll assume the worst, which is why we can get off to a rocky start with anyone who hits on us.
  10. We only stick around if we’re serious. We’ve dealt with enough pain. We don’t want anymore. So if we like you enough to risk getting our heart broken by you, you know we’re serious about you. We wouldn’t date just anyone. You’re special.
Holly is a science fiction and horror writer, who has recently been published by Flash Fiction Press, Infective Ink, and Popcorn Press. You can find more of her nonfiction articles on All Women Stalk, The Talko, and News Cult.