Sometimes a friends with benefit situation seems really ideal. You get all the physical perks without having to worry about making things official. The one bad part? Sometimes, if you spend enough time together, you start to fall with them. Here’s how you know it’s happening to you.
If he can’t get together with you, you’re upset about it. You’ve started really enjoying spending time with him—so much so that if you call him up and he’s actually busy that night, it’s kind of a bummer. You’ll definitely reschedule but there’s just something about his presence that’s really comforting.
You start thinking about how he’d make a great dad. Even if you don’t want kids, those thoughts awkwardly cloud your mind from time to time. Maybe it’s his gentle disposition or the way he tries to make every experience a fun one. You try not to let your mind wander all that much but it’s kind of difficult.
You wish you had the same level of friendship with past exes. A FWB is different from a boyfriend since you already know each other. There’s not that same level of fear, especially since you don’t need to worry about impressing him. You already know you find each other attractive but the friendship you have makes it even better and much easier than a standard relationship. If only it was always this easy.
Instead of sex, you guys have branched out and done other things. Hookups happen a lot but the relationship has progressed to even more. Sometimes you don’t even kiss — you just grab lunch together and chat about your week.
Your Tinder profile is getting a little dusty. Even if you’re not looking for a relationship right now, you’re also not looking for any other hookups. You’re really content with what’s happening right now and feel like you’re finally in a situation that’s making you happy.
But, you’re a little nervous he may meet someone else. FWB relationships often don’t last for all that long since people move on to proper relationships (or even other hookups). There’s no real commitment there which means leaving you behind is always a possibility. It’s hard not to feel a little broken hearted if he wants to put things on pause.
You’ve confessed your kinks and hangups with him. Sex is a complicated thing. Some people have a lot of kinky turn-ons while others may have had bad experiences that turn them off from certain positions and situations. Exploring those with your FWB doesn’t just mean that you trust him, it means that your connection is a little more meaningful than quick sexual gratification.
Sex is actually fun. He seems to get you in ways other people don’t. More than once, the two of you have actually burst into laughter when a sexy moment suddenly became unsexy. You’re just enjoying yourself without worrying about performance or your body or anything else. With this guy, you’re always just in the moment.
You can’t stop talking about him with your friends. You talk about him like you’re in a real relationship, but mostly because he’s just really funny and kind. For the record, you’re not fooling your friends. They can tell when you’re into someone and they know you’re in denial.
You surprisingly know a lot about his family. In hanging out with him, you’ve picked up a lot of odd facts about him. You know what his parents do for a living, what his relationship is like with his sister, and even what kind of car they happen to drive. It all just came up naturally in conversation but it’s all hard to forget.
You’ve actually cooked for each other before. Maybe it’s just some scrambled eggs in the morning, but it’s still something that an average FWB wouldn’t naturally think of doing. If he’s crashing over at your place, you really care for his comfort and want to make sure you squeeze in as much time with him as possible.
He has some of his essentials at your house. If he’s staying over a lot, it just makes sense for him to have a toothbrush at your place. But if you’ve noticed that he’s quietly gained a drawer, it means you’re willing to welcome him into your life as a more permanent addition. For most FWB’s, it’s just about sex, but when you give them some much-treasured bedroom space, it shows there’s real potential between you two.
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