With dating etiquette constantly changing, it’s harder than ever to anticipate all the new rules and tricks of the trade. However, you’ll have to learn to navigate that world if you want to be successful. Here’s how to go about asking for someone’s phone number when you’re online dating. The sooner you move things into the real world, the better.
- Have a plan in mind. Don’t be boring or just never text back. Or worse, don’t just message ‘hi’ and not push on with anything. Think about what you enjoy doing and start from there. Then you can’t go wrong. By having a plan, you also appear more confident and attractive and fun. It will make asking for their phone number that much easier since you’re showing how fun you can be in real life, not just while online dating.
- Suggest a date. Be imaginative when you ask them out. Picnic on the roof with blankets. This is another one that sort of stands for itself. Bring candles and fairy lights if you’re feeling that aesthetic, and make sure you remember the THICK quilt. Remember: it’s okay to huddle together for warmth but if you’re starting to feel like a penguin on the outside of the herd in a nature documentary, it’s time to ask for his jacket. Fellas, don’t make a fuss, you know you love it.
- Ask what she likes to do when you get her number. If she likes films, go with that. Don’t just presume you know what you think she wants to hear.
- Film night. On a projector. Okay, I know this sounds basic but hear me out. This is a day-long activity. You’re both in sweats. It’s raining outside and you’re warm inside. You baked cookies using your grandma’s old recipe and actually gave yourself time to let the butter soften and cream the sugar. No one is in a hurry. Popcorn abounds – both sweet and salty, depending on how controversial your partner is feeling. Take out. No dishes. Intrigued yet? (PS: if you pick anything other than sweet popcorn you’re canceled xoxo).
- Or suggest something casual. When you ask for someone’s number when you met online, it’s important that you keep things open and low pressure. Make them want to evolve the relationship but don’t trap them. Listen to what they’re saying to build that intimacy.
- Walk somewhere with no destination. I know it sounds like the suggestion a grandmother would make on a Sunday morning when you’re about to visit a national trust site with a granola bar and wellies to brace yourself. But don’t you just MISS that now? Wouldn’t you give anything to have those wholesome memories back? Well, they don’t have to be just memories. Don’t be afraid to hang out with your partner in ways that might not seem super sexy on the surface. They’re that bit more personal and intimate.
- Don’t be needy. Ask for their number as an alternative to stalking them on social media. It’s more grown-up. Plus, if you’re always checking their social media. This stems from a lack of trust in the relationship, your partner, or, the worthiness of your partner. These are three different factors, but they all combine to various obsessive coping mechanisms. Be it stalking their Snap Maps or checking their recent activity on Instagram, if you wake up each morning thinking about what they’re thinking or doing, that’s dangerous. Step back and turn your phone off. That’s a red flag in online dating when that world of information is at your disposal. Avoid it!
- Don’t overthink it. Asking for their number shows your interest. If they say no, take that with grace. The fact that you like someone does not mean that they owe you anything. It’s not that big of a deal either way.
- Communicate your interest in a future together. You don’t need to outline the details of your dream wedding, but show that you want a first and second date. When you realize that you can arrange the next date, you don’t have to stress about waiting for your partner to do it. Even if it doesn’t work out, having an open and honest conversation throughout your relationship is essential. It means that everyone is on the same page and can communicate their needs and boundaries.
- Don’t be afraid to use memes and emojis. This gets their attention and shows that you’re fun. Once you have negotiated the opening spars, it’s time to whip out your… personality. Do whatever feels natural, find a way of being creative and showing that you’re putting effort into the conversation. That’s the beauty of emojis and gifs, they can add nuance to even basic messages and show that you have a killer sense of humor. It keeps things lighthearted and fun!
- When you get the number, commit. Send the good morning good night texts – this might sound a little contrived to the more cynical among us, but trust me. For such a simple gesture, it gives you so much traction in a relationship. Waking up to a nice message that shows that someone has been thinking about you is just a delight, and no one can tell me otherwise. It shows they will be more than just a one-night stand.
