Are You In A Band-Aid Relationship? How To Tell And What To Do About It

Have you ever wondered why some couples seem to stay together for so much longer than they actually should? If that sounds familiar, your predicament has a name: you’re in a band-aid relationship. Here’s how to tell if this is you and what you should do.

  1. You act more like a single girl than a committed, loving girlfriend. According to some relationship experts, a huge sign that you’re in a band-aid relationship is if you don’t act like you even have someone special in your life. This means that you don’t have standing dates with your guy, you don’t bring him when you’re invited to parties, and you just generally don’t consider him a big part of your life. Sure, you care about him on some level or you would’ve have gotten together in the first place, but you’re not acting like a normal couple anymore.
  2. You don’t consider each other’s people your own. Arguably one of the best parts about being in a long-term thing is that you and your BF will get to know each other’s family and friends and all hang out together. That makes weekends and holidays and special occasions really fun. If this isn’t happening, then the general idea is that this is a big problem.
  3. You don’t have a regular routine. Experts say that if you’re in this kind of romantic situation then you don’t really have a clue when you’re going to see your boyfriend next. You don’t know that you’re going to grab dinner every Tuesday night and spend every weekend together. Dates are more random and they’re always pretty last-minute. This proves that you two aren’t making time for each other, which is basically the kiss of death.
  4. You don’t even know why you like him. Yeah, that sounds harsh, and that’s why this is such a crappy situation to be in. Experts believe that you should be able to wax poetic about how amazing your partner is and really love talking about them. When you don’t do that and you don’t say much about him in general, it’s not good.
  5. You’re unhappy about everything in your life. It makes sense that if you’re in a toxic relationship or you don’t feel that your boyfriend is treating you like he should, you’d start wondering if something is wrong with you. That can lead to depression or just a general sense that your life hasn’t turned out the way that you thought. If this sounds familiar, then it’s definitely a band-aid relationship.
  6. You think being with him is better than being alone. It’s pretty common to think that you would prefer not to dump your BF because then you would be single and that would suck. Lots of people become really afraid of a life without the person that they’ve been with for a long time. Sorry, but that’s the hallmark of a band-aid relationship—and that’s no reason to keep being his girlfriend.

So what should you do about it if you find yourself in a situation like this?

  1. You should talk to your boyfriend about how he feels. It’s totally possible that you and your boyfriend can solve this and become as good as new again. You just have to actually communicate. If you think that you’re in a band-aid relationship, then you sit down with him and have the most honest conversation that you two have ever had. Maybe he’s been pulling away because he thinks that you don’t make time for him, or maybe he’s just been stressed AF at work and really does want to be with you. You won’t know until you both verbalize it.
  2. Make an effort for a limited period of time. Once you two have chatted about what’s going on, you should really give our love story one last shot. Since it’s not like someone massive has happened that has torn you apart, like cheating, it’s possible that you can be happy again. But don’t try for another year or even two years. Give yourself a limited period of time, like a month or two, and remember that it might not work out. It’s best to be realistic.
  3. Make sure you’re focusing on what’s going on now. Experts don’t want you to stay with someone because you think that he’s going to be your husband soon and once he is, he’ll be better or you’ll be happier. You can’t make choices about things that haven’t happened yet. Think about who your guy is now and if you’re okay staying with him like this.
  4. Know when to walk away. Ultimately, if you’ve been in a band-aid relationship for a while, the love might not be there anymore and it might not be the best thing for your future. You should know when it’s time to walk away and when you should throw your hands up and leave. It doesn’t make you a failure—it makes you the total opposite. If this is what you decide, then be glad that you know when someone is bad for you, and be proud of yourself. Because while band-aids stop a wound from bleeding like crazy, they’re not necessary forever and you can totally heal by yourself.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.