Being Alone Doesn’t Mean You’re Lonely

Being single, whether by choice or not, must mean you’re lonely, right? I’m not sure where the myth came from that being on your own means you’re desperately pining for someone else to complete you, but there’s a major difference between being alone and being lonely. Even if you were in a relationship, you can’t be around someone 24/7 – you’d go crazy.

Rolling solo doesn’t mean I’m unloved or the world has abandoned me, it just means I’m happy being by myself sometimes. Here’s why being on your own isn’t as terrible as everyone makes out:

  1. You just need some “you” time. It’s fun being around those you love, but smetimes you just need to unwind and do something just for you. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, it’s healthy to spend some time to yourself.
  2. You don’t need someone else to complete you. Single women get the lonely label often, but what people don’t understand is you don’t need a boyfriend to make you feel complete. Sure, you might want a relationship in the future, but being single right now doesn’t mean you’re lonely.
  3. You actually enjoy your own company. Stepping away from everybody is actually kind of liberating. You get to do whatever you want without having to worry about hurting someone’s feelings. You can check out new places, take yourself out on a date, listen to the music you like best or read a book without anyone interrupting. Kind of makes you want to be alone right now, doesn’t it?
  4. You’re comfortable with yourself. Lonely people usually aren’t that happy with themselves or their situation, but not you – you’re happy and comfortable with the way things are. You might have stress, but so does everyone, and you’re dealing with it. Plus, you don’t need anyone else to entertain you.
  5. You have stuff to accomplish. You’re a grown woman with your own interests and life. You’re not always going to share everything with friends or family. You have your own life to live and sometimes that means being alone to get things done and work hard on reaching all the goals you’ve set for yourself.
  6. You still have friends. It’s easy to make a snap judgement when you see a woman sitting alone. Others think you must be so sad and pathetic, but what do they know? You could have plans with several friends later that night. Spending time alone doesn’t mean you’re friendless. You’re just having some quality time with yourself right now.
  7. Alone is different than lonely. I feel like I need to point this out again. Lonely people are often surrounded by others but still feel lonely because they don’t think others notice them. They often feel abandoned in the world and they hate it. Being alone just means you don’t have others around, and that’s okay. The absence of other people doesn’t mean you’re automatically lonely.
  8. Everyone needs solitude sometimes. It doesn’t matter who you are – everyone needs some to be alone sometime. Maybe you’ve had a big fight with your partner and just need to get away and think things through. It could be you have a hobby that no one else likes and you just want to spend some time having fun. Whatever the reason, everyone craves being alone at times, and even if you don’t crave it, it’s healthy to do it.
  9. You’re so over dating right now. You’ve turned down the last few guys your friends tried to hook you up with. They think you’re lonely, but you just want to be left alone. You so need a break from dating and all the stress that comes with it, and you’d rather just spend some time with yourself for now versus dealing with another jerk who just wants to hook up.
  10. You’re in charge of your own happiness. The need to be around others all the time is a sign that you’re placing your happiness in the hands of others. You know you’re in charge of your own happiness, and that’s why being alone doesn’t bother you. It gives you time to work on being an even happier person.
  11. You have your own interests. Maybe you enjoy studying insects or making up your own dances to ’90s bubblegum pop. Odds are, you have some obscure interests that just make your friends look at you funny, but it doesn’t matter what they think – you still love your weird interests. You don’t mind taking some time to yourself to explore them, either.
  12. Sometimes people are just annoying. It’s hard to be lonely when you’re tired of people. Have you ever had one of those days when everyone was so incredibly annoying that you just wanted to be alone? The moment you were on your own again, you breathed a sigh of relief and felt better. Sometimes being alone just means escaping the annoyances for a while.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.