I’m Not Just A Cure For Loneliness — If You’re With Me, It Should Be Because You Think I’m Amazing

I totally understand the urge to find a partner just because you’re lonely, but if that’s the only reason you want to date me, you’re better off finding someone else. I’m a catch, and I deserve to be with someone who wants me and only me. Here’s why I can’t be with someone who isn’t picky when it comes to love:

  1. Love shouldn’t be a choice. It should be uncontrollable. You shouldn’t be able to choose if you love me because you might choose “yes” today but you could choose “no” tomorrow. I need to know that I’m not one of a million options you could pick. I want a man who feels an internal pull toward me. I want him to feel totally out of control because he just can’t help being crazy in love with me.
  2. I don’t want to be replaceable. If any girl who wants you is good enough for you, then there are probably plenty of girls you could replace me with. I want to be with someone who finds me irreplaceable. The guy I want needs to want me specifically, not just anybody.
  3. I deserve to be more than the woman you settle for. No matter how long it takes, I’m willing to hold out for the right man. That’s why I also want to find the one man who’s holding out for me. I want to be someone’s Mrs. Right. I don’t want to be the girl you settle for just so you don’t have to be alone. I deserve a better love story than that.
  4. I don’t want to be your escape from the single life. You need to be able to cut it on your own before you can fully invest yourself in a relationship. I’m looking for a man with a true sense of independence. Not a man who needs me, but one who purely wants me instead. I can’t and won’t save you.
  5. I’ll never feel like you’re truly happy. How will I ever know if I’m really the girl you want to be with if you chose me just because I was available, not because I’m actually the woman you want. I’ll always feel like you’re looking to trade up. If you weren’t happy on your own, then you’ll never be happy with me; I can’t solve your problems, and soon enough you’ll realize that.
  6. I believe in “the one.” True love does exist, and that’s exactly what I want. It’s not about having anyone — it’s about having THE one. You can’t just settle for the first girl you find, and that’s why I won’t settle for a man who doesn’t want just me. I believe in soulmates, true love, and destiny. I’m holding out for a love like that, and that’s exactly what you should be doing, too.
  7. I don’t want to worry about what will happen if someone better comes along. If you’re willing to take just any woman, then you only chose me because I was willing and available. So once you have me and you’re not feeling pitiful and alone, what’s going to stop you from looking for the girl you really want to be with? I won’t wait idly by to be the girl you leave for someone else.
  8. I’m more than just a warm body. I deserve to be more than just a girl who keeps you company. I want to be the only girl that you want lying next to you. I don’t want to be just sex or just someone who saves you from being bored. I’m more than that, and if you can’t see it, then you don’t deserve me.
  9. I deserve a man who loves me for me. I don’t want to be the woman you love just because I’m there, and I don’t want you to be interested in me only because I’m interested in you. I deserve more than that. I want to be special, not just a girl you picked from the lot. I want a man who knows me better than anyone else and loves me for exactly the girl I am.
  10. I want to be your one and only. If you want just any girl, then I’m not the only girl you could or would be with. I want the kind of love where it feels like we’re the only two people in the room. I want to have a relationship with you that you could never have with someone else. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.