The older we get, the more the people around us are settling down and starting lives and families of their own. When you’re the last single girl standing among your group of friends, it can start to feel like you have less and less in common. There was a good chunk of my past few single years where I felt extremely bitter and resentful, or that I was that flawed and tragic friend who never had a date to the party and couldn’t relate to those conversations pertaining to the ups and downs people were experiencing in their loving relationships. As it turns out, being the last one standing without a partner isn’t a bad thing at all, but there’s a particular survival method to get to that place of being completely content with being the last single girl in your crew.
Live vicariously through your friends and learn from them. You’d be amazed what you can learn from your friends and what they go through in their relationships. They’ll tell you all the good things you have to look forward to, and also the realities of the struggles of being in a partnership. When you’ve been single for a while, you might start to forget about the compromises that come with being part of a duo. Being the outsider looking in gives you a new perspective on relationships and helps you to recreate the image of what you want for yourself one day, when the lucky guy finally arrives to your single girl party.
Get rooted in your own life. Not having a relationship isn’t the be-all, end-all of adulthood. There’s plenty of other stuff to do besides finding a man to be with. Focus on your career, your health, and explore the person you are while you can, it’s an opportunity not all women have. I used to feel anxious and eager about finding my perfect person because I felt like I was falling behind, but when I realized I was able to spend this time exploring who I am and what I’m capable of without a man by my side, amazing things started to happen. And it just makes you even more amazing for that right guy in the end.
Have interests outside of finding love. Don’t get so caught up in dating and trying to find that perfect Tinder match that you forget about doing the things you love. If you love going to the gym, do that. If you love knitting Pintrest scarves, keep doing that. Put your own interests first and let the dating world become secondary. When the right person comes along, you’ll enjoy them more when you keep in line with your own routine.
Have fun dating, without the pressure of looking for “The One”. When you do date, don’t become too fixated on where it’s going right away or setting your hopes high just to avoid continuing your solo party attendances. Enjoy the process, and don’t rush through it. Besides, your coupled friends love hearing your juicy dating adventures because they too, are living vicariously through you.
Live in the present. Worrying about the future or about how long you’re going to remain “that girl”, the single one, only takes away from your fun in the present. Live in each moment and enjoy all situations as they are, even if you’re enjoying them alone.
Spend more time with your family. As you get older, and more rooted in yourself, your family relationships grow stronger. Whether it’s with your siblings or your parents, deepening those relationships while you’re still single is an amazing thing. You don’t have a spouse to timeshare your schedule with which leaves you the luxury of planning family gatherings more often. After all, one day you’ll have a family of your own and you’ll be so busy juggling your own life that you’ll look back and be really happy you made your existing bonds even stronger while you had the time.
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