The Worst Guys You Date Are The Ones Who Teach You The Best & Most Important Lessons

The Worst Guys You Date Are The Ones Who Teach You The Best & Most Important Lessons ©iStock/vitapix

When you find yourself dating someone who’s truly trash, it can be hard to find a silver lining when things finally end. But before you get too down on yourself for wasting time with garbage guys, keep in mind that your experience with them can teach you some valuable lessons if you let it:

  1. They show you your true worth. A garbage guy can be garbage for any number of reasons. He might be patronizing, controlling, antagonizing, or outright abusive. No matter what his brand of sewage looks like, he’s guaranteed to try to erode your self-worth. It might even work while you’re caught up in the mire of it, but once you get out, you learn that your value is so much higher than what he made it seem.
  2. They make you realize what you’re willing to put up with. Little things, big things, you learn how far your tolerance goes with a crappy partner. You’re willing to put up with so much in this kind of relationship that the things that really grind your gears starkly stand out.
  3. They prove to you that superficial things don’t matter. Something usually compels you to fall for a trashy person. Maybe it’s the sex, his physical appearance, or even wealth. Eventually, the blinders fall off, the facade cracks, and you realize that whatever drew you to this pile of refuse isn’t enough to keep you there.
  4. They show you that lust only lasts for so long. Lust isn’t always the culprit, but it often is. It might even be infatuation, which may be less sexual, but even more compelling. That won’t last forever, either. Not even excellent sex can make a garbage person anything more worthwhile.
  5. They help you to figure out your limits. Although a crap relationship also teaches you patience and resilience, you also learn when to throw in the towel. You figure out how much you can take so that if you ever find yourself in the presence of a human dumpster again, you’ll know better than to stick around for too long.
  6. They remind you that you can’t change people. You knew it beforehand, but you didn’t have any practical experience with your inability to change someone you were dating. At some point, we all think we can change someone. Trash is always trash, though, and you’ll remember that when you date someone you wish you could change but can’t.
  7. They prove that being alone isn’t all that bad. Seriously, singledom isn’t such a nightmare. This becomes especially clear after you finally extinguish the dumpster fire. In fact, it’s entirely likely that you’ll come away craving some time and space to yourself.
  8. They show you that sometimes you actually do need to listen to other people. If you ignored the opinions of your family and friends when they warned you about this guy, chances are you soon figured out that you made a big mistake in doing so. It’s hard to let go of your pride when it comes to people you’re dating, but once you go out with a truly lousy guy despite everyone else’s warnings, you’ll be more apt to pay attention to words of caution the next time around.
  9. They teach you how to spot the red flags. Once you experience something, it’s always easier to see it the next time around. You won’t get burned so easily in the future because the warning signs are now in neon. You now have the experience to keep you from wasting your time and energy.
  10. They make you appreciate truly good men that much more. After you’ve been with a real disaster of a dude, you see the good in others much more clearly. You’ll be able to really realize what you have when you date someone who’s truly amazing because you’ll know just how terrible things can be when you’re with the wrong type of man.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.