How Being The Bitch Friend Has Brought Me Closer To My Girls

Being the blunt friend isn’t always easy, but someone’s gotta do the job. I’m always the one dishing out the tough love, but in the long run, it’s brought me a lot closer to my best girlfriends.

I speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

I’ll never be the person who lies to you if you ask me if your dress makes you look fat. I’ll never tiptoe around the fact that the guy you’re talking to is a total douche. Most importantly, I won’t agree with you if I think you’re making a dumb mistake. I say the things that people don’t want to hear, and while it causes many confrontations and unnecessary arguments, my friends know that the truth sometimes hurts and it’s better for me to be honest than let them be blindsided by something they don’t want to deal with.

What you see is what you get. 

When I form friendships, I make sure I’m undeniably myself in that I don’t try to be anything different to please other people. I won’t pretend to like the same music as if you I think it’s crap, I won’t go along with your political views in order to avoid upsetting you and I most definitely won’t keep my opinions to myself if I feel they need to be heard. I firmly believe that to build genuine connections with those around you, you first need to feel comfortable in your own skin. My authenticity radiates through my exterior and my friends understand they can trust me enough to know I won’t mislead them. In the long run, they can open up to me about their struggles, accomplishments, and secrets and feel assured that it’ll only stay between us.

I’m protective as hell. 

I’ve been nicknamed “the pit bull” by my friends for my tendencies to fight their battles for them. I don’t intentionally try to embarrass them or lead them to believe that they are defenseless, but when I see my friends being wronged the claws come out and the attitude intensifies. It may not always be the best approach, but my girls always know I have their backs in sticky situations.

BS doesn’t fly with me. 

I can smell BS from a mile away. If my friends ever try to get over on me by being sneaky or underhanded, I make sure to call them out the second I sniff out their nonsense. Being upfront from the very beginning about how I expect to be treated in my friendships sets the stage for future interactions. My bonds only become stronger by setting boundaries about how I will respect my friends and how I expect them to respect me in return.

Their emotions matter but so do mine.

I’m an open book when it comes to how I’m feeling. I never hold back when I’m upset or when someone pisses me off. This especially goes for my friends. I never pussyfoot around the fact that I’m upset with someone’s actions or words if I feel they are malicious or spiteful. By being upfront with my emotions, I’m able to effectively open the lines of communication with my friends and in return, they know they can do the same.

I have no filter.

My biggest downfall is that I say what everyone else is thinking but is too scared to share. I have a tendency to blurt out responses as they pop up in my mind, which causes for a lot of awkward encounters. The upside to this is that my answers are always genuine since I don’t give myself much time to really think it through. My friends quickly learn that my reactions are the farthest thing from calculated and they trust that I’m not lying to their faces.

I comfort others through tough love.

I’m not the type of friend who’s going to rub your back while you cry on my shoulder. I’m the type of friend who’s going to tell you to pull yourself together and grab the world by the balls. Life is hard, people are mean, and no one owes you anything. I strive to make my friends’ lives better by toughening them up and having them become stronger through their own experiences. I’m not trying to be their mother, but I believe that the less sheltered they are to life’s hardships, the more likely they’ll be to tackle their problems head-on. My friends are well aware of this, and most of the time I’m the one they go to when they need a pep talk.

I’m blunt and to the point.

In life, I don’t believe in gray areas. Most occurrences are either black or white and they need to be acknowledged as such. I won’t make excuses for you or the outcome of your decisions. If you ask me for my advice, I’ll give it to you straight, no chaser. I don’t believe in fluff words or sappy monologues of encouragement when everything is, in fact, going to sh*t. I’m blunt with my friends because I don’t ever want to be insincere or guide them in the wrong direction by being vague with my words and advice.

Sarcasm is my second language. 

You know you’ve officially been initiated into my circle of friends once I start hitting you with my dry sense of humor and snarky remarks. Those who know me well enough know that I communicate purely in sarcasm. I mock those close to me as a way to let them know I love them. Now, my besties take part in my banter and have come to expect the outrageous things that come out of my mouth. It definitely makes for interesting conversation at wine nights and has truly helped build a loving friendship between us.

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