Thoughts You Have When You Find Out Your Friend Is Pregnant

Thoughts You Have When You Find Out Your Friend Is Pregnant ©iStock/danilovi

Having a pregnant friend can be a pretty big shocker if you’re nowhere near starting a family yourself, and regardless of how long you’ve known her, there’s always going to be a flood of thoughts that enter your brain once you hear the news. Some are to be expected, but others might take you off guard. Here are some thoughts that just about everyone has when they find out that a friend is going to have a baby:

  1. 1. “OH CRAP!” This is literally the first think I ever think (or say) when I find out that a female friend or family member is preggers. It’s the thought that vocalizes all the shock you’re feeling. All of a sudden, that hard-partying muchacha is going to be a mommy. It’s surreal, ain’t it?
  2. “So, uh, who’s going to drink and smoke with me now?” Most moms-to-be won’t be too interested in partying, drinking, or even just hanging out. They’re too busy prepping for the baby to come. You can’t blame them, but you can definitely say you’re going to miss being able to get sloshed with them for the next several of months.
  3. “I’ve gotta be there for my friend.” This is your time to shine as a friend. If you’re a true blue buddy, then you’re going to want to be there for her during this time. Being pregnant is a lot more terrifying, and a lot more emotional, than most people are willing to admit.
  4. “I guess this is it, then. There’s the end of our friendship.” From personal experience, I know that a lot of people suddenly will disappear from your life the minute that you unleash the news. After I gave my daughter up for adoption, most of the people who ghosted tried to trickle in again, citing the fact that they didn’t know what to do or worried that I wouldn’t be the same person. I was shocked. If you’re feeling this way, just talk to your friend about it. The way she reacts may surprise you, and you might actually keep a friend you otherwise would’ve lost.
  5. “Why not me?” If you’ve been trying for a child, hearing that a friend is pregnant can feel like a twist in the gut. For those who actually want a baby, jealousy is normal. Don’t take it out on your friend, though. She didn’t do anything wrong to you.
  6. “Oh God, I really hope she doesn’t expect me to babysit.” For some folks, there are very few things that are as squicky as being asked to babysit for a friend. Though friends may care about the new mom’s future bundle of joy, most of us aren’t going to be too hot on the idea of babysitting a newborn.
  7. “She’s having a baby. I’m still single. WTF?” Sometimes it’s not so much the baby as much as it is the reminder of being single that bothers some girls. Once again, this is a normal thought, but that doesn’t mean you can be a douchebag to your friend.
  8. “I really hope she doesn’t change.” We all know that one friend who turned full Bridezilla when she got married. Most of us are well-aware of how people tend to change once a baby is born. Not going to lie — we’re afraid of it happening to you, and we’re worried that we’re going to lose the person that we’ve come to care about.
  9. “I sincerely hope she doesn’t ask me when I’m going to have one, too.” If you’re pregnant, please, please, please, don’t ask your friends when they’re gonna have babies, too. Only awkwardness and/or pain can ensue from this.
  10. “Damn… I feel old now.” It only seemed, like, two years ago that everyone was in college, drinking Natural Ice and kvetching. Now there’s kids involved. Where did the time go?!
  11. “Must…not…offer…unsolicited advice…” We all know how rude it is to start telling a mom-to-be what she should and shouldn’t do. It’s hard not to say something sometimes, but we have to fight the urge.
  12. “[Insert Pregnancy Question Here]” Before I got knocked up, I usually would ask all sorts of questions to women who were pregnant. I asked them if I could touch their stomachs, if it sucked as much as I thought it would, etc. This is normal. Just, you know, try not to creep out your friend.
  13. “So, uh, baby shower?” Some of us don’t know how to show support in a better way than throwing a baby shower. It’s true.
  14. “Congrats!” Assuming that your friend wanted a baby, this should be the first thing that comes to mind. Unlike others on this list, you should vocalize this thought.
  15. “I’m going to stock up on pickles for you, OK?” Hey, you might as well help a sister out, right?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.