If you’re tired of feeling like people are constantly taking advantage of you or putting you down, it’s time to start standing up for yourself. You don’t have to sit there and take it. Below are some powerful replies to have in your back pocket for the next time someone tries to diminish your worth. It’s time to start asserting your value and setting healthy boundaries.
1. Tell them directly — in private.
There’s no point beating around the bus, but maybe it was an honest mistake. Step one for responding to someone who has taken credit for your work is to make them aware of it. Perhaps they genuinely forgot, so reminding them of that in private keeps things from escalating.
2. “If I remember right, we all contributed to this.”
You do remember correctly, and you also know Kyle did very little considering he ended up getting all the plaudits. A little conditional language helps to soften the blow while also delivering an impactful and intentional message. It makes it easy for the offender to backtrack without sounding accusatory.
3. Explain how being forgotten makes you feel.
If people continue to pass off your effort as their own work, remind them that this is unfair. It’s not that you’re not a team player, but when other people are getting the credit, that’s an injustice.
4. “Please don’t take my work on this project for granted.”
Being direct is important to feeling heard in this conversation, but being polite is a necessary framework of office life. This phrase balances both nicely and articulates exactly what is going on. Communicating clearly like this is a key life skill.
5. Ask who did specific jobs and remind them it was you.
This isn’t the time to swing your ego around and lose your moral high ground, but it may be necessary to escalate things. You can either take a playful tone in reminding everyone about how much responsibility you held, or you can take a firmer, less complicated tone and simply list out your involvements. It will be difficult to ignore.
6. Push back if people think you’re there to get the coffee.
If you feel that other people’ Â behavior is getting patronizing or presumptuous, push back. If they think they can get away with taking credit for your work and expecting you to just take it, you can show them what you’re worth. Start by declaring that this work environment feels like people are expecting you to just lie down and get the coffee. Despite being an exaggeration, it will get other people’s attention.
7. Drop some industry jargon.
If the subtle approaches aren’t working, plump for a more aggressive stance. Drop some key industry jargon in the next meeting to show people you can up your game, and you know they can’t because they’re already leaning on you so much. It’s the adult equivalent of challenging the kid next to you to a thumb war.
8. Point out that you didn’t get credit last time.
If it’s becoming evident that the people you work with need things spoon-fed to them, then spell it out for them: “I need to address this now because I’m seeing a trend in people taking credit for my projects.” This highlights the urgency of the problem and the fact that how people see you is often more important than the reality.
9. Clap back at people constantly putting you down.
It’s even more necessary to take action when other people taking credit for your work is contributing to you getting a reputation for being less competent than you are. This isn’t just a game, it’s your life and professional reputation at stake — tell them as much.
10. Reclaim all of your recommendations.
People might not just be taking credit for your projects at work — keep an eye out for friends or acquaintances who have started to take credit for your restaurant, bar, or travelling recommendations. They might want to climb the social ladder, but you need to remind everyone that they can’t steal your ideas!
11. Give them an opportunity to apologize.
Before we get in too deep fighting fire with fire, make sure that all your interactions leave room for an apology at some point. This will prove that you have been heard.
12. Say that you won’t do another project if this continues.
Threats can be ugly, so there’s an art to this. You aren’t holding people to ransom, but you are highlighting how much value you contribute to a team — and currently you aren’t being respected. State the facts to your boss or to a person in HR to keep things formal and above-board.
13. Remind them it could hurt your career.
People need to understand that one’s perceived contribution to a project has very real financial and career stakes. This isn’t high school anymore, where the popular people could talk over and cheat on the nerds. Articulate that you have goals you want to achieve and that you’re not going to let someone else steal it.
14. If they deserve it, catch them in the lie.
If someone is really spouting BS, then you can plan a conversation to embarrass them and catch them in the lie. If they’re talking a big game about their role in a section you completed, interrogate them. Ask them more about the theory underpinning it, and make up a critic and trick them into revealing how little they know.
15. “Did you forget that I did all of that section?”
Rhetorical devices are a beautiful linguistic mic drop. When publicly delivered, everyone present will understand that you’ve been the driving force of the project all along. It’s sickly sweet on the surface and sharply resentful underneath. Oh so satisfying to whip out when you need a response to someone taking credit for your work. They’ll think twice about doing it again!
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