Although you try to respect people around you, not everyone’s on the same page. You might be on the receiving end of disrespect and rudeness, and it can feel so upsetting. But, how do you deal? Although you might entertain revenge fantasies of telling the person where to go jump, that’s not always the best way to handle them. Don’t let them have so much control over you! Here are 11 ways to deal with someone who doesn’t respect you, so you can take your power back.
1. Try Not To Take It Personally.
It’s easy to feel like the person has it in for you when they’re mean to you, but honestly? They’ve got their own problems (or they’re just the problem). It might also help you to think that you’re not the only one they’re so nasty to. Again, it’s because they’re just mean. Note: there’s a difference between being mean and being honest.
2. Laugh It Off.
I know it’s hard to laugh when someone hurts you. Laughing is the last thing you want to do in that moment. But, laughter is a bubbly platform of air that helps you rise above the situation so you don’t have to let it hurt you. Laughter might also make the person feel surprised that you’re laughing off their comment. Clearly, it failed. Nice one.
3. Be Direct To Shut Them Down.
If you don’t want to laugh and you want to show the person that they’re out of line, go ahead. Be direct to shut them down, such as by saying “no.” You don’t have to explain yourself. You can also excuse yourself from the conversation by saying goodbye. That way, you don’t get knee-deep in an ugly situation and can leave with dignity.
4. Tell Them How It Makes You Feel.
An alternative to shutting them down is to get real with them about how their behavior makes you feel. This is usually a recommended strategy if you have to deal with the person, such as if they’re your sibling or co-worker and you can’t cut ties with them. Use “I feel” statements so you get your message across.
5. Cut Them Out.
If you don’t have to continue dealing with the person, by all means cut them out! You don’t have to tell them, obvs, but just delete their number and unfollow them on social media platforms. It feels so satisfying because one day in the future they’re going to notice that you’re not taking their crap anymore.
6. Set Some Boundaries (If You Can’t Delete Them).
If you can’t completely cut them out of your life, you’re going to need to set some healthy boundaries with them. For example, try to limit the amount of time that you spend with them so that they don’t get to you too much. Or, decide to only see them in certain situations, such as family get-togethers, so you feel more in control of interactions.
7. Ask Other People For Their Opinion.
It can help you to vent to friends (or a therapist) if you’re dealing with someone who disrespects you. You’ll also get some interesting perspectives from an outsider to help you better deal with things. And, just talking about what they did to you can help you to diffuse your feelings of frustration.
8. Avoid Trying To Change Them.
It can be tempting to want to change the person who’s disrespecting you so that you can break new ground with them. So, you might think if you could encourage them to change, everything would be okay. Um, no. You can’t change anyone and wasting your time thinking you can will cause you to experience more frustration and stress.
9. Meditate About Them.
If someone has hurt you, it helps to meditate about the feelings they’re triggering within you. It can also help you to visualize them and how they make you feel so you can process what you’re going through and come out of it. Because here’s the thing: it’s not about the other person, it’s about you. By focusing on what you’re reacting to, you’ll become more immune to what they’re doing. Release your anger so you don’t carry the pain.
10. Consider The Kindness Route.
Although you might want to verbally tear the person to shreds, you could try to be kind to them instead. Flip the script and see what happens! Sometimes, showing them what they’re not giving you can help them to be kinder in the future. Hey, maybe they’re experiencing a rough patch and they don’t have the emotional intelligence to not take it out on others. It’s worth a shot.
11. Stay Cool.
No matter what approach you choose to deal with someone who doesn’t respect you, always remember to stay cool. If you show them that you’re angry or you lose your cool when interacting with them, they might turn the tables on you and make you out to be the crazy one. Ugh. Or, they’ll get a shot of satisfaction at the idea that they’ve really gotten to you. Don’t let them win!
