Ever had someone tell you to “stop slouching” or “smile more”? Turns out, those seemingly innocent comments might be on to something. Our body language speaks volumes, even when we don’t realize it. Here are some of the sneaky habits that could be making you seem rude, anxious, or just plain weird — while you shouldn’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not, sometimes a little self-awareness goes a long way.
1. You have a case of the fidgets.
Tapping your feet, clicking your pen, playing with your hair… It might relieve nervous energy for you, but to others, it screams, “I’m bored” or “I’m super anxious.” Try channeling that fidgety energy into something less distracting, like squeezing a stress ball. It’ll still release some tension but won’t drive everyone around you crazy.
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2. Your default facial expression is more grumpy cat than Mona Lisa smile.
You might just be deep in thought, but that resting scowl makes you seem unapproachable and standoffish. A slight upturn of your lips can make a world of difference. Plus, it’s been scientifically proven that smiling can actually boost your own mood, NBC News reveals, so it’s a win-win!
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3. Avoiding eye contact makes you seem shifty or unsure of yourself.
It’s okay to look away briefly, but refusing to meet someone’s gaze can be interpreted as disinterest, dishonesty, or even disrespect. Remember, eye contact helps foster trust and connection – nobody wants to talk to someone who’s staring at their shoes.
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4. You’re basically Slouchy McGee, and it’s not a good look.
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Hunched shoulders and slumped posture signal low confidence or a lack of enthusiasm. Standing up tall and pulling your shoulders back projects an air of authority and alertness. Good posture even makes you look more fit, which is always a bonus!
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5. Your arms are crossed so tightly you could be giving yourself a hug.
This classic defensive pose screams “I’m closed off!” Even if you’re not intentionally trying to be unfriendly, it subconsciously makes others less likely to approach you. Relax your arms by your sides or try gesturing while you speak – it’ll make you seem more open and welcoming.
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6. You talk way too fast, like you’re in a rush to get the words out.
Rapid-fire speech can make you seem nervous, overly excited, or like you’re trying to keep rambling forever. Slow down, breathe, and people are more likely to actually listen. Think of it as giving your words more impact rather than just trying to say it all as quickly as possible.
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7. Your super-intense stare makes people feel like you’re drilling into their soul.
Too much unblinking eye contact goes from attentive to kinda creepy real fast. It’s good to be engaged, but remember to soften your gaze and look away occasionally. There’s a difference between maintaining eye contact and staging a staring contest, so try to find a balance.
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8. You’re a major space invader with no concept of personal bubbles.
Standing way too close is a surefire way to make anyone uncomfortable. Respect people’s boundaries, and they’ll feel way more at ease around you. Think about that imaginary circle around your body – if you wouldn’t want someone stepping into yours, don’t step into theirs!
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9. Fake smiles are worse than no smile at all.
That forced grin with only your mouth engaged? Everyone can tell it’s not genuine. A small, natural smile is way more effective than an obviously phony one. Even if you’re not feeling super smiley, just relaxing your face into a neutral expression is often better than faking it.
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10. You’re the king or queen of interrupting people.
Cutting someone off mid-sentence sends the message that you don’t value what they have to say. Let people finish their thoughts before you jump in, even if you’re super excited to share your own. Remember, good conversations are more like a graceful dance than a race to blurt out your opinions.
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11. You point your finger when you talk, and it always feels a little accusatory.
Even if not intentional, finger-pointing can come across as aggressive or scolding. Try gesturing with an open palm instead; it feels much more welcoming. If you absolutely must point at something, try using your whole hand instead of just one finger – way less aggressive.
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12. You have zero poker face – your emotions are written all over you.
Being easily readable isn’t always a good thing, especially in professional settings. Try to be mindful of your facial expressions and practice keeping them a little more neutral. Think of channeling your inner secret agent, all calm and mysterious.
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13. You’re a chronic phone-checker, even when you’re talking to someone in person.
Constantly glancing at your screen is basically the universal sign for “I’m not really paying attention to you.” Unless it’s urgent, put the phone away and give the person in front of you your focus. Real-life connections are way more valuable than any text message, so show the people you’re with that they matter.
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14. Your handshake is a limp noodle, and it gives a terrible first impression.
A weak handshake communicates uncertainty and a lack of assertiveness, per Verywell Mind. Go for a firm (but not bone-crushing) grip and project that confident energy. Remember, a good handshake is an instant way to show you mean business.
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15. You turn away or check your watch during conversations.
These subtle cues make it seem like you’re eager for an escape route. Even if you’re short on time, be mindful of the signals you’re sending and try to stay present. If you have to leave, do it gracefully, don’t just subtly ghost the person you’re talking to.
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16. You mistake loudness for authority.
Talking over everyone or raising your voice to get your point across doesn’t win respect. A calm, assertive tone is far more effective in commanding attention. Just because you’re the loudest doesn’t mean you’re the most persuasive (even if it feels that way sometimes!).
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17. You roll your eyes more often than you realize.
This classic sign of disapproval or exasperation is guaranteed to rub people the wrong way. If you’re disagreeing, find a way to express your differences maturely. Even if someone’s being beyond annoying, a well-placed sarcastic remark beats an eye roll any day.
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18. You always look distracted, like your mind is a million miles away.
Even if you’re genuinely listening, a wandering gaze or that vacant stare makes it seem like you’re totally checked out. Practice focusing your attention and making eye contact to show you’re engaged. Plus, it’ll actually help you absorb more of the conversation instead of zoning out.
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