I Just Found Out My Boyfriend’s Parents Pay His Rent & It’s A Serious Turn-Off

A couple of months into my current relationship, I find out that the guy I’m dating doesn’t pay his own rent and I was totally shocked. It’s not that I care how much money a guy makes, it’s just that I don’t get how a grown man could feel comfortable relying on his parents financially and it’s changed the way I feel about him.

  1. One of the reasons I was so attracted to him was because I thought he was a hard worker. When I went to his condo for the first time, I was in total awe. He’s got this beautiful place in the middle of the city with air conditioning, hardwood floors, and a waterfall in the front lobby. I thought, “Wow, he’s really done well for himself!” The oohing and aahing soon came to an end when I found out that his parents are paying for 100% of the rent. WTF?
  2. He doesn’t actually need the money. He makes more than enough money at his job to live comfortably. I know this because he spends a lot of money on frivolous stuff. All of the cash he drops at the wine bar alone could easily pay for a good portion of his rent. To me, he’s just being irresponsible with his money, which makes the whole thing way worse.
  3. He seemed kind of ashamed of it and I don’t blame him. It took him a while before he fessed up to living off of his parents. I basically found out by accident while overhearing a phone conversation. He’s a 29-year-old guy who still expects his parents to pay his way, so I don’t blame him for keeping this a secret from me for that long. The thing is that now that I know his deep, dark secret, I can never look at him the same way ever again.
  4. He doesn’t even have a savings account. It’s one thing to have your parents pay your rent, but it’s another thing to spend all of the money that you would’ve put into paying your own rent on useless and crazy expensive things. He goes out to eat for almost every meal and has, like, a million pairs of shoes. It must be nice to feel like you have a never-ending flow of money, but if I were him, I’d save all the money I could because his mom and dad will have to pull the plug eventually.
  5. He still manages to complain about being broke. It’s really weird because he always complains about being short on cash, but now I know that it’s all an act. It’s a way for him to make sure that no one finds out his secret. In reality, he has no reason to complain. If anything, should be the one complaining—no one bankrolls my basic necessities.
  6. Do I really want to be with a guy whose parents baby him? There’s something so intrinsically unattractive about a guy who gets everything handed to him by his parents. I want to know that the guy I’m dating had to actually work to get where is. You want to know that the person you’re with is good at handling money and has the ability to work hard for what they want in life, right?
  7. He’s at the age where he should be paying for his own stuff. Honestly, the guy is almost 30—there comes a certain point where there’s no excuse for not living off of your own funds. It’s just a straight up good life skill to be able to live independently. How do you expect to take care of someone else if you can’t take care of yourself?
  8. He thinks living beyond his means is normal. This has probably been a theme for him his entire life. I’m sure he never had to save up his allowance to buy something special or do chores around the house for pocket money. He spends money like it’s water and thinks nothing of living beyond his means. I live comfortably within my means and am actually quite happy. I just wish he’d let his dependancy go and see how good it feels to provide for yourself.
  9. He acts so mature and independent but still depends on his parents for money. He has this way of “owning” the room and taking control of things, which is one of the reasons I’m attracted to him. However, now that I know his secret, I can’t help but think of it immediately whenever I see him acting like some kind of boss. It totally knocks him down a few pegs in my eyes. He’s not the complete package I previously thought he was.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.