I Don’t Put Up With BS From Dudes & It’s Killing My Dating Game

I’ve never been the kind of girl who could hide how I feel. I’ve also always been able to see through men and their games. I don’t mess around—either a guy accepts me as I am or I’m not interested. Sadly, a lot of dudes can’t handle that.

  1. I have no patience for nonsense. Can we all just agree to cut the crap already? I want dating to be simple, straightforward, and honest. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that. Because I’m not cutesy or flirty or submissive, men are turned off by me. WTF?
  2. I honestly don’t think much of most men. Look, I don’t hate guys—I have a lot of wonderful men in my life. Guess what? Those wonderful men are the first to admit that there are a lot of terrible dudes. I hold any guy I date to a high standard and I don’t compromise, even if it means I stay single.
  3. I say what I think. I don’t know why it’s so terrifying for a woman to voice her opinion, but plenty of guys run and hide. I don’t have time for such silliness. If a guy can’t hold his own and express himself, why am I even bothering? It’s not worth it.
  4. I’m too old to put up with crap. I’m not a young thing with plenty of time to waste anymore. I’ve grown up, I’ve learned a lot, and I know what I want. I can tell immediately when a man is playing games and I simply walk away. I’m not going to flatter him by tolerating it.
  5. I know I deserve to be treated well. Insecurity is a huge problem in dating, and people end up in terrible situations because they don’t believe they can do better. That’s completely untrue. Everyone deserves to be treated with love, respect and consideration in a relationship.
  6. I don’t care if I’m intimidating. Many men have told me I’m intimidating—my strength, my intelligence, and my fierce knowledge of myself. I guess they mean to flatter, but I don’t find it complimentary. It makes me sad—I want a man who’s confident, secure, and who adores my strength instead of fearing it.
  7. I call guys out on their BS. I don’t understand my friends who put up with crap from men only to turn around and complain to me. I’m not the one you need to tell, honey. I have no time for games—I’m very upfront with a man when he upsets me or acts like a jerk. Most of them can’t stand it and take off.
  8. I expect to be respected. If a man does not show me respect, I don’t waste time on him. End of story. I will always respect my partner, but I demand the same. A successful relationship must include respect, so why bother if it’s not there? It’s amazing how many guys out there balk at this requirement.
  9. I have a tough time finding single guys who get it. I try to be optimistic, but most of the time I find out they are single for a reason! It’s scary how many adult men have no idea how to date a grown woman or function in a relationship. They don’t like it when I make them look in the mirror.
  10. I know great men, but they’re all taken. I didn’t realize that when I got older, I would be single and surrounded by terrific dudes … who are all with strong women already. They all got snatched up while I was wasting time with the wrong guys. It sucks, and because I won’t tolerate douchebaggery, I remain alone.
  11. I can be overly pessimistic when it comes to men … I mean, can you blame me? I’ve had so many bad experiences that it’s hard to open my heart to potentially better options. Every time I do, I get hurt. I’m basically impossible to date now because I’m so closed off.
  12. … but that’s because every time I’m not, I get duped. I do try to give guys a chance, and to remember that it’s not their fault that I’ve dealt with so much crap. The problem is that every time I go there, the guy proves to be a tool just like the others. The more this happens, the less I want to date.
  13. I really don’t care if men can’t handle me. This is the real reason that I’m not successful in the dating arena—it’s not my problem if a guy doesn’t have the tools to be with someone like me. I will not change my behavior or be inauthentic in order to please a man. Ain’t ever gonna happen.
  14. I’d rather be single than pretend to be someone else. I’m fine being single if that means I remain true to who I am. I’m not afraid of being alone—that fear is what gets a lot of women into unsatisfactory situations. I’m not making the same mistake.
  15. I simply don’t take any crap and I’m not sorry. Why should I be? No one in this world should have to take any crap, especially not from someone who is trying to date them. I’m too old, too tired, and too busy to play stupid games. It’s not going to happen—and if that means I die alone, so be it. I don’t even care.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.