It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on a date or even asked out on one. I don’t do the app thing, I’m over the casual thing, and I’m not interested in forcing something for the sake of it. While I’m open to initiating a one-on-one, taking part in a wine and dine session and finding the right person, scoring a date isn’t at the top of my to-do list.
- I have a great group of friends. Dating is overrated. The stress of picking the perfect outfit, anxiety about making a good impression, and the pressure to end the date with a kiss (or more) are things I can do without. I’d rather spend the night out with my friends exchanging inside jokes, drinking one too many and heading into the weekend without a care in the world.
- I want my relationship to evolve naturally. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with meeting your life partner online—I’ve seen the swipe in action and I know that it works—it’s not for me. I know how I want my forever relationship to start and I’m happy to wait. Whether we meet on the dance floor, at the grocery store, or through a friend, the encounter will make for a good (and memorable) story.
- I’m confident in myself as a person (and a partner). For many women, being single AF is a cause for concern. Depending on the length of time they’ve been out of the game, going solo becomes a personal issue. Often, rather than exploring ourselves, we turn on ourselves. We try to identify what it is that’s “wrong” with us and work to solve the “problem.” As a confident woman, I recognize that my single status describes me rather than defines me.
- I’ve closed the chapter on casual dating. While I was satisfied with “hanging out” and “staying in” throughout my early 20s, I’m over miscommunication and mixed signals. This doesn’t mean that I’m all about rushing into a relationship, but I’ve come to gain an understanding of my self-worth and appreciate his making the effort and taking the time to get to know me.
- I don’t even know if I want to get married (or have kids). Even as a little girl, I’ve never imagined my big day—what style my dress would be, where my wedding would take place, how many people would be in attendance. I’m not bothered by my current lack of interest in dating because I’m not racing against the clock. I don’t know if I want to get married or be a mom and I definitely don’t want to do either with the wrong person.
- I don’t mind being the third wheel. Depending on the couple, tagging along isn’t the worst thing in the world. As long as you’re close friends with at least one of the two people and they keep it cool with the PDA, being the third wheel is nothing to complain about. A simple word of warning: read the situation and know your boundaries.
- It’s all about me. While living the single life, I do what I want when I want. My free time is exactly that—all mine. It might be selfish but it’s definitely stuck. There’s no need to check in with a partner or consider a second schedule when making plans. I have the freedom to be spontaneous and make decisions on the fly, to embrace and enhance a sense of the unknown.
- I don’t need to worry about playing games. In the words of BSB, the song “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)” will not need to be re-played on repeat. While the throwback is next level, it’s perfectly on point. In the days of ghosting vs. being ghosted, pressing the pause button on dinner and a movie means that I don’t need to worry about him exercising the “three day” rule or the “we were on a break” excuse.
- I can continue to work on myself. While it’s not intentional, sometimes when coupling up, people lose their sense of self. In some cases, both parties begin to form one identity and one way of thinking. It happens over time and is the sign of an unhealthy relationship. With dating on the back burner, I have the opportunity to continue exploring what it is that makes me smile. Before making someone else happy, I have to make myself happy. By spending time learning my interests and pursuing my passions, I’ll have so much more to offer a partner and a relationship when the time comes.
