You’re single, you’re horny, and you’ll never be this hot or this young again. It makes sense that you want to take advantage of your sexual prime, and as long as you’re being safe about it, why shouldn’t you? There’s just one caveat to your freewheeling approach to exploring your body (and everyone else’s). According to a new study, having too much casual sex now could reduce your chances of having a happy marriage in the future.
Researchers at Brigham Young University’s Wheatley Institute found that 10% to 20% of married adults are happier in their marriages when they’ve only ever had sex with one person — their spouse — than those who slept around before tying the knot.
Not only that, but the study also reported that participants who had only one sexual partner were nearly three times as likely to say they weren’t considering divorce and twice as likely to say that they’re “very satisfied” in their relationship.
In a statement for BYU, Wheatley fellow Brian J. Willoughby, co-author of the report, said that the findings weren’t necessarily new, but they did confer with what previous studies have concluded.
“Our study confirms what other national studies have been finding the last few years, that sexually inexperienced dating couples are two to three times more likely to be in a highly stable marriage,” he said. “It appears that sexual exclusivity between spouses provides an underappreciated foundation for the intimacies of marriage and helps spouses create a mutually satisfying relationship founded on emotional intimacy and healthy communication.”
The link between casual sex and a future happy marriage is real, it seems
While it would be easy to dismiss BYU’s report, titled “The Myth of Sexual Experience: Why Sexually Inexperienced Dating Couples Go On To Have Stronger Marriages,” given that it was performed by an overly religious university, that wouldn’t be fair given that it pulled on data from people of all different walks of life, not just Mormons.
Researchers looked at data from 3,750 Americans in heterosexual committed relationships that were featured in the National Couples and Pornography Study. They also included data from recent studies that looked at how casual sex and marriage success were connected. What they discovered was pretty interesting, to say the least.
Only one in 10 married people who describe themselves as “highly sexually experienced” said they’re “very satisfied” in their relationship. Roughly a quarter of married people who had five to nine sexual partners and 14% of those who had slept with more than 10 people said their marriage was going well.
On the flip side, 45% of those considered “sexually inexperienced” reported relationship happiness, while 80% who’d only ever slept with their partner felt closer to their partner – a whopping 20% higher than those who’d slept with multiple people before saying “I do.” This was true whether or not the participant was male or female.
Of course, enjoying casual sex doesn’t mean you can never have a happy marriage. Between 10% and 15% of people who did so “are still doing quite well in their marriages,” says the associate director of the Wheatley Institute and the report’s co-author, Jason S. Carroll. However, he does recommend you change course.
“It is likely that these individuals were able to improve their trajectory by changing their mindset about sex, approaching marriage with enduring commitment, and embracing fidelity by avoiding alternative seeking behaviors after marriage,” he advises.
